Part art gallery, part restaurant, part Japanophile’s fever dream sprung to life, the Royal/T teahouse proves that Father’s Office isn’t the only reason to explore the hidden nooks of Culver City. Housed in a minimally tricked-out warehouse off of Washington Blvd, with a brick facade brimming with ivy and a pink neon crown, the interior seems big enough to house several small airplanes, with walls of glass separating the diners from the bold, oversized exhibits. With its gift shop full of hallucinogenic knick-knacks, S&M-themed photography, sound system playing the uncensored versions of stuff you’d hear on the radio (there’s something refreshing about going to a restaurant and hearing “mindfuck” get thrown around), and waitresses dressed up in mildly titillating Japanese maid outfits, Royal/T is just on the tasteful side of prurient. Don’t think Hooters; think “Hooters for hipsters who read manga and love Murakami.”

The food is determinedly not-bad. The tuna tartar comes rimmed in a crust of spices that are more New Orleans than Nagaski, but you won’t hear anyone complaining, and it comes alongside seaweed-wrapped rolls of crispy rice topped with pungent mango salsa. The salmon salad features a fillet of tender pink fish so well grilled, it’s like not a drop of juice escaped onto the coals. There is hoisin-braised pork belly atop faintly spicy soba noodles, which is pretty damn good; there are 5-spice mashed sweet potatoes, lukewarm and lurid purple like someone tried to turn Grimace into Soylent Green, which… ain’t. The saving grace, though, is the tea. The drink coined from the joint’s namesake is an ice-chilled mixture of black leaves, creamy vanilla milk and, in an inspired touch, rose petals. It’s like a subtle, silky cousin to coffeehouse chai, and maybe my new favorite summertime drink that doesn’t rhyme with “schmimosa.”

On your way out, don’t forget to go through the back — there’s a brilliant art piece there called the “Port-O-Party”, which is like a Port-O-John shaped like a giant white Ipod. You go in, shut the door, pick a song from the (actual-sized) Ipod inside it, and rock out under the mini disco-lights overhead. It’s the kind of thing Billy Murray and Scarlett Johansson would have wound up inside during some lost night out in Tokyo.

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WHAT: Japanese art gallery/teahouse
WHEN: Everyday, 10 AM-6 PM
WHERE: Royal/T
$$$: $7-$10 a plate

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 7th, 2010 at 5:37 pm and is filed under art, food. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.