Okay, so honestly?  Not the biggest Star Wars fan.  And by biggest I mean not really…at all…ever.  Of course, as a product of the ‘80’s, there was no way I could have made it through without seeing at least a few scenes of Empire Strikes Back, even if it was strictly for the Princess Leia side-bun inspiration or to drool over the oh-so-dreamy Luke Skywalker and his glowing sword.

This Friday, March 12^th, much to the delight of nerdy boys everywhere, and well…me, for that matter, a Star Wars-themed burlesque show will be gracing the stage at the Henry Fonda Theater in Hollywood.  Second in the satirical series so far, the Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret will bring your Princess Leia slave-fantasies to life, inspire you to see Jabba the Hut in a whole new light, and watch Darth Vader transform into the sultry siren we all knew was hiding under that ominous mask.

Judging by the video filmed at the premier Star Warz event (Bordello Bar), the sexiest striptease will be performed by event producer, Courtney Cruz (of Devil’s Playground fame) in her fantastically-futuristic Stormtrooper ensemble, but then again…do you really need any further motivation?

CLEARLY: Star Wars + burlesque beauties = lightsaber MAGIC.

Presales are currently sold out for the Friday night event, so get your butts in gear and snag a last-minute ticket at the door to become a part of LA’s burlesque revival, Jedi-style.

__________________________

WHAT: Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret
WHEN: Friday, March 12th, 9pm-2am
WHERE: Henry Fonda Theater
$$$: $20-$30

It’s time to air your dirty laundry.  Mortified, happening every month at the King King Club, offers an exhilarating night of live performance that turns oversharing into an art.

Each month, brave souls submit artifacts from their awkward adolescence — journal entries, home video footage, 8th-grade poetry that will make you want to cut off your ears and fill the holes with dirt — to the event’s organizers.  The six best are then selected be read aloud. Before a club full of complete strangers.

And the most memorable thing about the whole experience?  Its sweetness.

A hip 30-something screens horror films he made at age six (featuring him getting “attacked” by his too-affectionate-for-the-role golden retriever.)  An acid-tongued Echo Parker shares the lurid details of her sophomore-year trip to South America and her trio of “fiery” Chilean host-brothers.  Another guy reads a “Saved by the Bell” script he wrote at 14 — before being joined onstage for conciliatory hug by “Bell’s” executive producer. All the while, we silently remember own cringing teenage embarrassments, most of which pale in comparison to what’s being brought on the mic.  We laugh and cheer for their survival, and our own.

Each night closes out with a Dixieland orchestra swinging out a cover of The Faces’ “Ooh La La” – and as young Rod Stewart said, “I wish that I knew what I know now.” But if we did, we’d never get to experience the cathartic awesomeness that is Mortified.

_________________________________
WHAT: Mortified
WHEN: Wednesday, March 17th @ 8 PM
WHERE: King King
$$$: $15 in advance, $20 at the door

The good loony people at Zombie Joe’s Underground are at it again with the sixth installment of their smash hit play, Urban Death. Every year, a director and a handful of actors get together and come up with 30-40 wordless horror vignettes in this small non profit North Hollywood black box theatre. This year their theme of Once Upon A Nightmare spotlights some of those crazy things that happen in ones head during slumber time. Expect lots of blood, screaming, laughing, skin, and the occasional blue monster.

This being a limited run and a very small theater, it’s suggested that you call ahead of time to make your reservation at 818-202-4120. Get there early for a good seat, and please, for your own sake, don’t sit in the weird side seats. Just take my word for it.

_______________________

WHAT: Urban Death: Once Upon A Nightmare
WHEN: Fridays and Saturdays throughout February, 8:30 pm
WHERE: Zombie Joe’s Underground, 4850 Lankershim Blvd., 91601
$$$: $15

On the way in to work today, I listened to the Nutcracker Act II – Character Dances Op 71 on KUSC and it reminded me of how very damn good that music is.

They also happened to say a link on the air (seriously? no links section on your site, KUSC?) to a calendar of every major Southern California performance of the Nutcracker.  Head over to BeachCalifornia and find out when/where is going to be best for you.  Parents love it.  Kids love it.  Dates will be impressed that you consider them classy enough to take to The Ballet.  So there you go, easy gift right there.  Happy holidays.

_________________________

WHAT: Nutcracker SoCal Calendar
WHEN: December 17th-29th
WHERE: All over SoCal
$$$: Approx. $15~100, depends where you go

I’m more of a concert guy. I mean I like theater and I’ll go to a play every once in a while, but if I had a choice, I’d see a concert. When a show like Violators Will Be Violated comes along though, it makes me realize I should give more plays/theater a chance.

This thing is a one man show with barely any dialogue. Weird I know. What I found to be even weirder is that it didn’t matter. It was about an hour of non stop laughter for me and just about everyone in the audience. It’s a series of 17 short sketches revolving around ridiculous characters doing ridiculous things. The actor, Casey Smith, is able to portray so much emotion with no props or words to work with. Pretty good stuff. I don’t really want to give anything away cause I want all who go to be as pleasantly surprised as I was.

The play is going on for the next three weeks, Friday/Saturday at 11:00PM. Tickets are $10. Trust me. The show is well worth the price..and you’ll be helping out a small theater company (Circle X Theatre Co.)! Win/Win!

_____________________________________________________

WHAT: Violators Will Be Violated
WHEN: Fridays and Saturdays through December 19th @ 11:00PM
WHERE: Son of Semele Theatre
$$$: $10
Ages: All (definitely not for kids though..)

Some of you may know who Dave Malki ! and Kris Straub are already, but for those that don’t, you have a great chance to find out.

For those less familiar with their work, you mayhaps will recognize the names of their respective webcomics, Wondermark and Starslip.  Well on top of all that greatness, they have joined forces to create Tweet Me Harder, a “smash hit comedy podblast” crafted by the two gents.  Things to expect:  rapier-sharp witty repartee, rampant exuberance, an appearance by America’s Favorite Funnyman, Dave “Duckman” Kellett, nemesis (perhaps Arch Nemesis, even) Fake Stan Lee, and many, many pandora’s boxes of comedy sure to be opened.

Note to Antarctic scientists: if sunny Southern California is too far away for you, you can also tune in to tweetmeharder.com to watch a live stream of the show.

__________________________
WHAT: Tweet Me Harder LIVE!
WHEN: Saturday, November 14th @ 8pm-10pm
WHERE: The Complex (map)
$$$: FREE!

This is the last weekend (and the perfect one) to catch the latest creation from Zombie Joe’s Underground theater group. Written by Adam Neubauer, we join a horror writer on a trip through time to save the world as he encounters The Invisible Man, Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, amongst other classic horror creatures in this play’s world premier. Costumes are welcome on the Saturday performance so it will make a great preface to your night of debauchery!

Tickets are $15 and available at the door. Reservations are recommended by calling 818.212.4120. Make sure to get there early to get a good seat! Be sure to check out Scarlett’s Sweet Streets post about Lankershim Blvd. for some good before and after entertainment.

____________________________
WHAT:  Not With Monsters
WHEN:  Friday and Saturday, October 30th & 31st @ 8:30pm
WHERE:  ZJU Theatre Group, 4850 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood
$$$:  $15

I was at the Santa Monica Pier last night and noticed a GIANT blue and yellow tent had taken over most of the parking lot.  What could it be?  Cirque Du Soleil, of course!  Starting Friday and continuing through the end of November, Santa Monica will host Kooza, a circus spectacular that tells the story of “the Innocent, a melancholy loner in search of his place in the world.”

Tickets are a little pricey, but Cirque du Soleil is definitely worth the cost of admission.  If you’ve never been, take a second to look at the trailer…it’s the circus for grownups and without the smelly elephants.  You’ll see contortionists, charivari, highwire acts and more.

______________________________________

WHAT: Kooza
WHERE: Santa Monica Pier
WHEN: Friday, September 16 – November 29th
$$$: Tickets start from $65.00

David Cross, aka Tobias Funke, everyone’s favorite never nude/analrapist*, will be at the Wiltern next Monday to do standup.  As a huge fan of Arrested Development, I have to say that this guy is comedy gold.   Worth braving the Wiltern?  I’d say so.  Otherwise, you may have to wait until the Arrested Development movie comes out in 2010 to get your Cross fix.  Todd Glass is the opener…I definitely don’t know him as well, but I’m pretty sure he was on Last Comic Standing.  Anyone remember that show?

Yeah, the tickets are a little pricey, but not completely unreasonable.  You don’t have anything better to spend the money on, right?  Paying rent is for squares.  Last time I checked, there were tickets left, but not a ton, so probably best not to wait til the day of.

___________________________________________

WHAT: David Cross at the Wiltern
WHEN: Monday, September 21 @ 7
WHERE: The Wiltern
$$$: $35.50

*If you haven’t seen Arrested Development, it’s not what you think.  In fact, it’s almost entirely safe for work.

Local artists and speakers are gathering Saturday night to reflect on the effect of 9/11. The Los Angeles Idealist Network, a community-focused organization of local social activists, is putting on this free event at the Breese Foundation. Poets, painters, sculptors, film makers like Don Burton (screen shot pictured), dancers, and musicians, including our friend Jonathan Byram, who wrote a song for the event, (shameless promotion, what we do best here at BoredLA), will all be there with original pieces. As an audience member, you will have the chance to create your own work on an interactive art wall set up for the night. Click here to read more about the evening on their Facebook event page.
________________________
WHAT: Since Nine Eleven
WHEN: Saturday, September 12th @ 6pm
WHERE: The Breese Foundation
$$$: Free/donations suggested

Tomorrow morning at 8am run, do not walk, to Ticketmaster.com because Paul Reubens is bringing Pee Wee back with a new live stage show in November at the Music Box!  As a kid growing up in the 80’s I loved both Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Pee Wee’s Playhouse.  After I grew older I began to appreciate Mr Ruben’s more as I better understood the subtleties of his comedy and  again by a chance exposure to a rerun of the 1981 HBO special he did for an adult audience as Pee Wee (if you get a chance to see this old special take it, as it is hilarious and still holds up quite well).

Back in the early 1980’s Paul Rubins created Pee Wee at the Groundlings, and later  sold out a live stage show at The Roxy for five months before ever bringing the act directly to children with his movies and TV show.  I am sure this new stage production will echo more closely the original act than it’s later children’s television version (which was still amazing!).

The new production promises to have many of your favorite playhouse characters like Pterry the pterodactyl, Chairry, Jambi the Genie, and many others.  There is no way I am missing this show.  I plan to rob an old lady this evening after work, I will then use her perscription drug money to buy tickets to Pee Wee.

______________________________

WHAT: Pee Wee Herman’s triumphant return to the stage!!!
WHEN: Previews start on Sun 11/8, and show will run through Sunday 11/29.
WHERE: The Music Box at the Fonda
$$$: $38.50 – $68.50

I have no clue whether this play will be amazing or awful, but one thing’s for sure – it’ll be a sight to see.  Cabaret Voltaire, a local theater company, is debuting their crazy new creation, Octomom the Musical, on Saturday.  In addition to Octomom, the musical features Vince of ShamWow & Slap Chop fame, Bernie Madoff, Charles Ponzi, etc.  If they’ve been ripped apart in the headlines lately, they’re probably in the play.  There will only be 10 performances between this Saturday and August 15th, so if you want to go, jump on the chance.  Tickets are $10 cheaper if you buy them in advance.  Oh, and if you go, you’re steps away from Pure Luck and Scoops, so stop in and get some awesome food before or after.

I’m seriously considering going, so if you want to come with, drop me a line!  lola@boredla.com.

____________________________________

WHAT: Octomom! The Mu$ical
WHEN: Saturdays @ 8 PM & 10 PM July 18-August 15
WHERE: The Fake Gallery
$$$: $19.99 in advance

Silverlake’s flamenco institution, El Cid, is best known for nights of Spanish dancing, but the first Tuesday of every month is different.  Tomorrow night, the restaurant will host Ronnie Mack’s Barn Dance, a 20-years-running country and roots show that’s apparently pretty amazing.  This month, it’s George Highfire, Archie Francis and the Cornpop Orchestra, Steven Casper, The Ridge Route Romeos, and Michael-Ann.  Best of all?  The whole tapas menu is available during the performances.  Yum!

_____________________________________________

WHAT: Ronnie Mack’s Barn Dance
WHERE: El Cid
WHEN: First Tuesday of every month starting @ 6
$$$:  Free to get in, but buy food or drinks

Tomorrow at Machine Shop, you are invited to join them for an acoustic celebration and singalong of American folk music. Head balladeers Daniel Brummel (it’s gotta be DB from Ozma, how many could there be?) and Laura Steenberge will lead in singing a bunch of traditional American songs while you sit back and enjoy down-home refreshments and plenty o’ the popped corn.  All for free!

More info on the event here.

There is also a secret event happening this weekend if you are a member, but what could it beeeeee?

____________________________

WHAT: American Folk Music & Popcorn
WHEN: Sat. July 4th @ 6pm
WHERE: Machine Project
$$$: FREE!

I was sitting in traffic an hour ago listening to NPR and they announced that Garrison Keillor was going to be hosting Prairie Home Companion at the Greek Theatre tonight.  I already knew that.  Then they said that they were, for a short time, holding something called the “We Hope It Doesn’t Rain Sale” where tickets are half off.  Now that’s a pretty good deal for any Prairie Home junkie because the tickets to tonight’s event aren’t cheap.  As soon as I got home, I looked all over KPCC’s website and found no mention of the sale, but at Prairie Home’s website, I found a link to Goldstar, which is offering the tickets for half off.  Hurrah!  I have no idea how many are left, and even at half off they’re still $44.50, but if you’re a Garrison fan, that’s not so bad, right?  Anyway, the half-off tickets are here and the Prairie Home Companion event is tonight at 7:30.  In addition to Keillor and his regular companions, Sheryl Crow and K.D. Lang will be there.   I’ll admit, I’m not the hugest Prairie Home fan, but that show has a huge, huge following so there have to be some of you out there that want to risk an evening in the rain and take NPR up on its awesome offer.

_______________________________________

WHAT: Prairie Home Companion Live
WHEN: Friday, June 5th @ 7:30
WHERE: Greek Theatre
$$$: Half off tickets are $44.50

Boom Kat Dance Theatre, a wonderfully experimental, thought-provoking, and creative collective based in Los Angeles is in its second week of their original production of NeverWonderLand.  After much thought, creation, and exploration, Boom Kat has constructed a performance that mingles the classic tales of J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan and Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland into a single story.  In a collaborative effort, from writing to performing, Boom Kat re-tells, rearranges, and follows the familiar characters, Alice and Peter, through the backdrop of an industrializing England.  Boom Kat pushes the expectations of art, theatre, and performance.  Check out an interesting inside look at the collective at this video link. You don’t have to take my word for it (but do.  do take my word for it), you can also read The Tolucan Times’ glowing write-up.  You can catch the show this weekend and next weekend.  Be mindful about getting a ticket beforehand.  Seats are filling up like hot cakes (?).  Buy tickets here.
__________________________________
WHAT: Boom Kat Theatre presents: Never WonderLand
WHEN: Thursday-Saturday 8pm, Sunday 2pm until June 14th
WHERE: The Miles Memorial Playhouse in Santa Monica
$$: Adults $20, Students $10

Tonight the Echoplex is hosting a night of female comedy. Ok, don’t start with the whole “girls aren’t funny” shit. There are some girls that are funny. And, in my experience, most guys aren’t all that funny anyway. So there! Woah, I think this belongs in LA Rant. Ok moving on…

Come over to the Echoplex to see female comedians that have been featured on VH1, MTV, HBO, The Late Show, and more. If that hasn’t convinced you, BUST Magazine (who is helping put on this event), along with Happy Clothing and Ultra Clothing, are all giving away free gift bags to some lucky audience members. Free gifts, lots of laughs. What’s stopping you? Get your tickets at the door!

_________________________

WHAT: Comedy is the New Black & BUST’s LOL 2
WHEN: Thursday, May 28 @ 8PM
WHERE: Echoplex
$$$: 10

Beyond Baroque lives a happy Bohemian life as a bookstore, independent publisher and creative space near the beach in Venice that has been offering art and literature programs since its opening in 1968.  If you’re looking to tap into the writing community in the great city of Los Angeles, a good place to begin your search is Beyond Baroque.  Let me break it down:
Monday: 8pm Literary and Experimental Fiction workshop with Angie Kirk
Tuesday: 8pm Creative Non-Fiction workshop with Tonga Nguyen
Wednesday: 8pm the West Coast’s longest running, free poetry workshop with Ellyn Maybe
Thursday: 8pm Alternative Screenplay workshop with Matt Byrnes
Saturday: 1:30pm Poetry (or Prose) workshop with Bob Foster

I realize this post could have been helpful earlier in the week.  What’s so great about Beyond Baroque, though, is that the community has not and is not going anywhere.

There are also some purchasable workshops/training that you can read about on Beyond Baroque’s website.  Also, check the website before you show up for the first time, so you will know what you will need to bring.  Some workshops ask you to bring ten copies of your poetry, for example.  All of these daily/evening[ly] workshops are free.

Besides these workshops, Beyond Baroque is open Fridays from 11am-6pm.  boredLA will keep you posted about upcoming events.  You can find a more extensive history of Beyond Baroque, including information about its impressive literary and artistic affiliations and accomplishments, on their myspace.
____________________________
WHAT: Beyond Baroque Writing Workshops
WHEN: Monday – Thursday at 8pm, Saturday at 1:30
WHERE: Beyond Baroque in Venice Beach
$$$: free free free!

LA might be a little dreary this weekend, so grab your sunscreen and your copy of the Feminine Mystique (outdated reference?) and drive up to the delightfully convenient Southern California Desert.  No no, Coachella is next weekend, THIS weekend is your chance to join an amazing movement of women at the First Annual Women’s Creative Collective Skill-Share.  Women’s Creative Collective for Change is a group of women, based in Los Angeles, who get together to work together for positive change for the future and positive change for the representation of narratives of the past.  The Skill-Share Retreat will feature yoga in the mornings, workshops throughout the day, hiking, meditation, creation, relaxation, and, of course, a drum circle or two.  Follow this link to sign up.  Women, men, and children are all welcome.  This is one of those events that you’ll always remember.  Make sure you check the website to sign up and make carpool arrangements.  Everyone wants to help everyone make this an unforgetable weekend!  If you want to get involved in another way, you can join WCCC’s writers workshop.
____________________________
WHAT: Womens Creative Collective Skill-Share Retreat
WHEN: Saturday and Sunday
WHERE: Sattleback Butte
$$$: free!

Fiasco!, one of UCB’s top improv groups & 2-month champions of UCB’s weekly Cage Match (plus just so happen to be friends of ours), is performing tonight at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade in their weekly showcase, Let’s Do This! The night is full of fun, with two other teams, Convoy and Fancy Schmancy, working their hardest to make you laugh. Or cry. You really never know with these people. If you enjoy comedy, these teams are sure to please you. So if you are free tonight at 11pm, bring $5, and laugh, laugh, laugh.
_________________________
WHAT: Improv Showcase featuring Fiasco!
WHEN: Friday, March 20 @ 11pm
WHERE: Upright Citizen’s Brigade
$$$: $5