Or maybe I should clarify… Get *Le* high.

So maybe you’ve seen those ads that vaguely suggest a human form suspended in a fog of splendor.  They usually have names like Zumanity and Ka and Mystere and The Beatles: Love.  I just know I couldn’t come up with any of those fancy show titles.  I also know that I could never do anything that those crazy Cirque people do… or could I?

Le Studio in Culver City offers classes in the aerial arts, including trapeze, lyra-hoop, silk, hammock, swing set, hand balancing, and contortion.  These classes are open to kids (age 3-15) and adults (16+), so all of our 3-year-old readers out there can finally get out on the town and get their aerobatics on!  I’ll tell you this, if at the tender age of 3, a contorted Marksy was able to suspend his body from ceilings, I would have had days worth of groundings for finding new ways to terrorize the adults in my life.   Ah, the free flying days of youth.

Regardless of how you plan to use these newly found powers of gravity manipulation, a great way to get a taste of what the program has to offer is by checking out their theatrical in-house performances.  This Friday & Saturday, they are hosting a scripted show called Re-Wired, a play that “takes a close look at the inner wirings of human beings and what makes them incapable of achieving their full potential.”

The show has genuine pro Cirque performers and if you have ever seen a Cirque show or ever wanted to see one, then this is a great opportunity to catch another performance or start down a new, amazing path of aerobatic discovery.

Buy tickets through their website.

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WHAT: Theatrical acrobatics!
WHEN: Friday, Aug 6 & Saturday, Aug 7 – 7:30 pm
WHERE: Le Studio, Culver City
$$$: $25

Gunplay. Bombings. Cheese-grater torture. For the real deal in ultra-violent thrills and nihilistic giggles this summer, forget the movies — just trek over to the Mark Taper Forum for their presentation of The Lieutenant of Inishmore, running now through August 8th. For anyone familiar with the work of Martin McDonough, the depraved Irish playwright behind such affronts to human decency as The Pillow Man and The Beauty Queen of Leenane, (as well as 2008’s Oscar-nominated screenplay for the hilarious splatstick crime-comedy In Bruges) you know what you’re getting yourself into. Everyone else, brace yourselves; shit’s gonna get medieval.

Starring Chris Pine, the unfairly-good-looking centerpiece of last year’s Star Trek reboot, Inishmore follows the adventures of Padraic, a young IRA terrorist whose sadism and sociopathy are matched only by his love of his pet cat, Wee Thomas. When Wee Thomas turns up dead and Padraic returns to his hometown to investigate, barbaric sociopolitical farce ensues. The show has only been out a week, and there are already reports of horrified old people walking out of it. This deserves our support.

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WHAT: The wildest night of theater in town
WHEN: Now – August 8th
WHERE: The Mark Taper Forum
$$$: $25-$35

Apparently, the glee-club nerds grew up to be sexy.

Meet the Silverlake Chorus — a choir group described by its founding member Sam Rader as “warm-hearted Angelenos gathering to create harmonies aplenty while wearing oversized glasses and skinny jeans.” They’ve got no backing band, no choreographed dancing, no Broadway showboating  — but what they do have are lush, all-vocal covers of indie staples like Beck and Regina Spektor (and for all five of you who saw MacGruber, that was them singing the opening theme.) They’re making their splashy debut this Friday at El Cid. Good times are sure to be had by all.

Joining the plethora of talent onstage will be underground stalwarts Alex Lilly (Obi Best), Joaquin Pastor, Pi Jacobs and John Gold. Also performing (and producing their upcoming album) will be Ben Lee, the demon responsible for such Up-With-People-by-way-of-Guantamo-Bay atrocities as “I Love Pop Music”, and  “I’m A Woman Too.” This man needs to get got. However — we cannot hold that against the group at large. Get out to El Cid, people. Gleefulness awaits.

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WHAT: The Silverlake Chorus
WHEN: Friday, June 4th, 8 pm
WHERE: El Cid
$$$: $10

“I should warn you that I sometimes lie. I do it when it will make a story funnier. I don’t do it to protect the innocent; I don’t know any stories that feature innocent people.” That’s the opening salvo from storyteller Jeffery Ruddell, performing his terrific bit of short non-fiction “Under The Influence” at The Moth.

What is The Moth, you ask? It’s a gathering of storytellers who get together every two weeks (usually somewhere with a lot of booze), and perform their work live before an audience, all based around a predetermined theme. It was founded in 1997 by New York poet George Dawes Green, in an attempt to recapture the freewheeling energy of his days on St. Simon’s Island, where he and his writer pals would gather on the front porch and spin spellbinders. Since then, it’s become a nationwide institution, with chapters popping up in Detroit, Chicago, and thankfully enough, Los Angeles. The next one is happening on April 20th at Silverlake’s fabulous El Cid, a Spanish tavern vaguely reminiscent of the vampire bar in From Dusk Til Dawn — the kind of place where the concrete steps leading down to its entrance are slanted at an odd angle, but by the time you leave, you will be too.

The theme for this next reading is “Spring.” You can listen to some sample stories here, and if you want to get your raconteur on, you can sign up to perform here. Otherwise, feel free to just listen, laugh, and get drawn in like a moth to a flame.

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WHAT: Short-Story Slam
WHEN: April 20th, doors open at 6, readings start at 7:30
WHERE: El Cid
$$$: $7

The Speakeasy Comedy Club, a Thursday-night shindig in the back-room of Hollywood Billiards, is an anomaly in the LA stand-up scene: it’s got no cover, no two-drink minimum, and its comics are hand-picked by the organizers (so you can avoid the face-melting badness that goes along with most open-mic nights.)

Contrary to its moniker, it’s not going unnoticed — even Paul Scheer, of Human Giant and FX’s The League, is getting in on this.

The brainchild of Dan Borrelli and Kirill Baru (the former an Emerson grad who’s been called “Eddie Izzard without the drag”, the latter having cut his teeth on the USC sketch comedy scene and now writes for Comedy Central), Speakeasy is all about variety.  Amongst other things, tonight’s show features the quirky, Emo Phillips-ish stylings of Marly Halpern-Graser, the old-school one-liners of Jay London, gay humor guru Eric Hahn, and an imaginary (?) grandfather’s diary used as a demented joke engine.  The beers are two bucks all night, and the inside of the joint looks like a place Mickey Rourke would’ve brawled in back in the 80’s.  What’s not to like?

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WHAT: Underground comedy club
WHEN: Thursdays, 9-10 PM
WHERE: Hollywood Billiards
$$$: Free

Okay, so honestly?  Not the biggest Star Wars fan.  And by biggest I mean not really…at all…ever.  Of course, as a product of the ‘80’s, there was no way I could have made it through without seeing at least a few scenes of Empire Strikes Back, even if it was strictly for the Princess Leia side-bun inspiration or to drool over the oh-so-dreamy Luke Skywalker and his glowing sword.

This Friday, March 12^th, much to the delight of nerdy boys everywhere, and well…me, for that matter, a Star Wars-themed burlesque show will be gracing the stage at the Henry Fonda Theater in Hollywood.  Second in the satirical series so far, the Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret will bring your Princess Leia slave-fantasies to life, inspire you to see Jabba the Hut in a whole new light, and watch Darth Vader transform into the sultry siren we all knew was hiding under that ominous mask.

Judging by the video filmed at the premier Star Warz event (Bordello Bar), the sexiest striptease will be performed by event producer, Courtney Cruz (of Devil’s Playground fame) in her fantastically-futuristic Stormtrooper ensemble, but then again…do you really need any further motivation?

CLEARLY: Star Wars + burlesque beauties = lightsaber MAGIC.

Presales are currently sold out for the Friday night event, so get your butts in gear and snag a last-minute ticket at the door to become a part of LA’s burlesque revival, Jedi-style.

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WHAT: Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret
WHEN: Friday, March 12th, 9pm-2am
WHERE: Henry Fonda Theater
$$$: $20-$30

It’s time to air your dirty laundry.  Mortified, happening every month at the King King Club, offers an exhilarating night of live performance that turns oversharing into an art.

Each month, brave souls submit artifacts from their awkward adolescence — journal entries, home video footage, 8th-grade poetry that will make you want to cut off your ears and fill the holes with dirt — to the event’s organizers.  The six best are then selected be read aloud. Before a club full of complete strangers.

And the most memorable thing about the whole experience?  Its sweetness.

A hip 30-something screens horror films he made at age six (featuring him getting “attacked” by his too-affectionate-for-the-role golden retriever.)  An acid-tongued Echo Parker shares the lurid details of her sophomore-year trip to South America and her trio of “fiery” Chilean host-brothers.  Another guy reads a “Saved by the Bell” script he wrote at 14 — before being joined onstage for conciliatory hug by “Bell’s” executive producer. All the while, we silently remember own cringing teenage embarrassments, most of which pale in comparison to what’s being brought on the mic.  We laugh and cheer for their survival, and our own.

Each night closes out with a Dixieland orchestra swinging out a cover of The Faces’ “Ooh La La” – and as young Rod Stewart said, “I wish that I knew what I know now.” But if we did, we’d never get to experience the cathartic awesomeness that is Mortified.

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WHAT: Mortified
WHEN: Wednesday, March 17th @ 8 PM
WHERE: King King
$$$: $15 in advance, $20 at the door

The good loony people at Zombie Joe’s Underground are at it again with the sixth installment of their smash hit play, Urban Death. Every year, a director and a handful of actors get together and come up with 30-40 wordless horror vignettes in this small non profit North Hollywood black box theatre. This year their theme of Once Upon A Nightmare spotlights some of those crazy things that happen in ones head during slumber time. Expect lots of blood, screaming, laughing, skin, and the occasional blue monster.

This being a limited run and a very small theater, it’s suggested that you call ahead of time to make your reservation at 818-202-4120. Get there early for a good seat, and please, for your own sake, don’t sit in the weird side seats. Just take my word for it.

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WHAT: Urban Death: Once Upon A Nightmare
WHEN: Fridays and Saturdays throughout February, 8:30 pm
WHERE: Zombie Joe’s Underground, 4850 Lankershim Blvd., 91601
$$$: $15

On the way in to work today, I listened to the Nutcracker Act II – Character Dances Op 71 on KUSC and it reminded me of how very damn good that music is.

They also happened to say a link on the air (seriously? no links section on your site, KUSC?) to a calendar of every major Southern California performance of the Nutcracker.  Head over to BeachCalifornia and find out when/where is going to be best for you.  Parents love it.  Kids love it.  Dates will be impressed that you consider them classy enough to take to The Ballet.  So there you go, easy gift right there.  Happy holidays.

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WHAT: Nutcracker SoCal Calendar
WHEN: December 17th-29th
WHERE: All over SoCal
$$$: Approx. $15~100, depends where you go

I’m more of a concert guy. I mean I like theater and I’ll go to a play every once in a while, but if I had a choice, I’d see a concert. When a show like Violators Will Be Violated comes along though, it makes me realize I should give more plays/theater a chance.

This thing is a one man show with barely any dialogue. Weird I know. What I found to be even weirder is that it didn’t matter. It was about an hour of non stop laughter for me and just about everyone in the audience. It’s a series of 17 short sketches revolving around ridiculous characters doing ridiculous things. The actor, Casey Smith, is able to portray so much emotion with no props or words to work with. Pretty good stuff. I don’t really want to give anything away cause I want all who go to be as pleasantly surprised as I was.

The play is going on for the next three weeks, Friday/Saturday at 11:00PM. Tickets are $10. Trust me. The show is well worth the price..and you’ll be helping out a small theater company (Circle X Theatre Co.)! Win/Win!

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WHAT: Violators Will Be Violated
WHEN: Fridays and Saturdays through December 19th @ 11:00PM
WHERE: Son of Semele Theatre
$$$: $10
Ages: All (definitely not for kids though..)

Some of you may know who Dave Malki ! and Kris Straub are already, but for those that don’t, you have a great chance to find out.

For those less familiar with their work, you mayhaps will recognize the names of their respective webcomics, Wondermark and Starslip.  Well on top of all that greatness, they have joined forces to create Tweet Me Harder, a “smash hit comedy podblast” crafted by the two gents.  Things to expect:  rapier-sharp witty repartee, rampant exuberance, an appearance by America’s Favorite Funnyman, Dave “Duckman” Kellett, nemesis (perhaps Arch Nemesis, even) Fake Stan Lee, and many, many pandora’s boxes of comedy sure to be opened.

Note to Antarctic scientists: if sunny Southern California is too far away for you, you can also tune in to tweetmeharder.com to watch a live stream of the show.

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WHAT: Tweet Me Harder LIVE!
WHEN: Saturday, November 14th @ 8pm-10pm
WHERE: The Complex (map)
$$$: FREE!

This is the last weekend (and the perfect one) to catch the latest creation from Zombie Joe’s Underground theater group. Written by Adam Neubauer, we join a horror writer on a trip through time to save the world as he encounters The Invisible Man, Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, amongst other classic horror creatures in this play’s world premier. Costumes are welcome on the Saturday performance so it will make a great preface to your night of debauchery!

Tickets are $15 and available at the door. Reservations are recommended by calling 818.212.4120. Make sure to get there early to get a good seat! Be sure to check out Scarlett’s Sweet Streets post about Lankershim Blvd. for some good before and after entertainment.

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WHAT:  Not With Monsters
WHEN:  Friday and Saturday, October 30th & 31st @ 8:30pm
WHERE:  ZJU Theatre Group, 4850 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood
$$$:  $15

I was at the Santa Monica Pier last night and noticed a GIANT blue and yellow tent had taken over most of the parking lot.  What could it be?  Cirque Du Soleil, of course!  Starting Friday and continuing through the end of November, Santa Monica will host Kooza, a circus spectacular that tells the story of “the Innocent, a melancholy loner in search of his place in the world.”

Tickets are a little pricey, but Cirque du Soleil is definitely worth the cost of admission.  If you’ve never been, take a second to look at the trailer…it’s the circus for grownups and without the smelly elephants.  You’ll see contortionists, charivari, highwire acts and more.

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WHAT: Kooza
WHERE: Santa Monica Pier
WHEN: Friday, September 16 – November 29th
$$$: Tickets start from $65.00

David Cross, aka Tobias Funke, everyone’s favorite never nude/analrapist*, will be at the Wiltern next Monday to do standup.  As a huge fan of Arrested Development, I have to say that this guy is comedy gold.   Worth braving the Wiltern?  I’d say so.  Otherwise, you may have to wait until the Arrested Development movie comes out in 2010 to get your Cross fix.  Todd Glass is the opener…I definitely don’t know him as well, but I’m pretty sure he was on Last Comic Standing.  Anyone remember that show?

Yeah, the tickets are a little pricey, but not completely unreasonable.  You don’t have anything better to spend the money on, right?  Paying rent is for squares.  Last time I checked, there were tickets left, but not a ton, so probably best not to wait til the day of.

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WHAT: David Cross at the Wiltern
WHEN: Monday, September 21 @ 7
WHERE: The Wiltern
$$$: $35.50

*If you haven’t seen Arrested Development, it’s not what you think.  In fact, it’s almost entirely safe for work.

Local artists and speakers are gathering Saturday night to reflect on the effect of 9/11. The Los Angeles Idealist Network, a community-focused organization of local social activists, is putting on this free event at the Breese Foundation. Poets, painters, sculptors, film makers like Don Burton (screen shot pictured), dancers, and musicians, including our friend Jonathan Byram, who wrote a song for the event, (shameless promotion, what we do best here at BoredLA), will all be there with original pieces. As an audience member, you will have the chance to create your own work on an interactive art wall set up for the night. Click here to read more about the evening on their Facebook event page.
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WHAT: Since Nine Eleven
WHEN: Saturday, September 12th @ 6pm
WHERE: The Breese Foundation
$$$: Free/donations suggested

Tomorrow morning at 8am run, do not walk, to Ticketmaster.com because Paul Reubens is bringing Pee Wee back with a new live stage show in November at the Music Box!  As a kid growing up in the 80’s I loved both Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Pee Wee’s Playhouse.  After I grew older I began to appreciate Mr Ruben’s more as I better understood the subtleties of his comedy and  again by a chance exposure to a rerun of the 1981 HBO special he did for an adult audience as Pee Wee (if you get a chance to see this old special take it, as it is hilarious and still holds up quite well).

Back in the early 1980’s Paul Rubins created Pee Wee at the Groundlings, and later  sold out a live stage show at The Roxy for five months before ever bringing the act directly to children with his movies and TV show.  I am sure this new stage production will echo more closely the original act than it’s later children’s television version (which was still amazing!).

The new production promises to have many of your favorite playhouse characters like Pterry the pterodactyl, Chairry, Jambi the Genie, and many others.  There is no way I am missing this show.  I plan to rob an old lady this evening after work, I will then use her perscription drug money to buy tickets to Pee Wee.

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WHAT: Pee Wee Herman’s triumphant return to the stage!!!
WHEN: Previews start on Sun 11/8, and show will run through Sunday 11/29.
WHERE: The Music Box at the Fonda
$$$: $38.50 – $68.50

I have no clue whether this play will be amazing or awful, but one thing’s for sure – it’ll be a sight to see.  Cabaret Voltaire, a local theater company, is debuting their crazy new creation, Octomom the Musical, on Saturday.  In addition to Octomom, the musical features Vince of ShamWow & Slap Chop fame, Bernie Madoff, Charles Ponzi, etc.  If they’ve been ripped apart in the headlines lately, they’re probably in the play.  There will only be 10 performances between this Saturday and August 15th, so if you want to go, jump on the chance.  Tickets are $10 cheaper if you buy them in advance.  Oh, and if you go, you’re steps away from Pure Luck and Scoops, so stop in and get some awesome food before or after.

I’m seriously considering going, so if you want to come with, drop me a line!  lola@boredla.com.

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WHAT: Octomom! The Mu$ical
WHEN: Saturdays @ 8 PM & 10 PM July 18-August 15
WHERE: The Fake Gallery
$$$: $19.99 in advance

Silverlake’s flamenco institution, El Cid, is best known for nights of Spanish dancing, but the first Tuesday of every month is different.  Tomorrow night, the restaurant will host Ronnie Mack’s Barn Dance, a 20-years-running country and roots show that’s apparently pretty amazing.  This month, it’s George Highfire, Archie Francis and the Cornpop Orchestra, Steven Casper, The Ridge Route Romeos, and Michael-Ann.  Best of all?  The whole tapas menu is available during the performances.  Yum!

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WHAT: Ronnie Mack’s Barn Dance
WHERE: El Cid
WHEN: First Tuesday of every month starting @ 6
$$$:  Free to get in, but buy food or drinks

Tomorrow at Machine Shop, you are invited to join them for an acoustic celebration and singalong of American folk music. Head balladeers Daniel Brummel (it’s gotta be DB from Ozma, how many could there be?) and Laura Steenberge will lead in singing a bunch of traditional American songs while you sit back and enjoy down-home refreshments and plenty o’ the popped corn.  All for free!

More info on the event here.

There is also a secret event happening this weekend if you are a member, but what could it beeeeee?

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WHAT: American Folk Music & Popcorn
WHEN: Sat. July 4th @ 6pm
WHERE: Machine Project
$$$: FREE!

I was sitting in traffic an hour ago listening to NPR and they announced that Garrison Keillor was going to be hosting Prairie Home Companion at the Greek Theatre tonight.  I already knew that.  Then they said that they were, for a short time, holding something called the “We Hope It Doesn’t Rain Sale” where tickets are half off.  Now that’s a pretty good deal for any Prairie Home junkie because the tickets to tonight’s event aren’t cheap.  As soon as I got home, I looked all over KPCC’s website and found no mention of the sale, but at Prairie Home’s website, I found a link to Goldstar, which is offering the tickets for half off.  Hurrah!  I have no idea how many are left, and even at half off they’re still $44.50, but if you’re a Garrison fan, that’s not so bad, right?  Anyway, the half-off tickets are here and the Prairie Home Companion event is tonight at 7:30.  In addition to Keillor and his regular companions, Sheryl Crow and K.D. Lang will be there.   I’ll admit, I’m not the hugest Prairie Home fan, but that show has a huge, huge following so there have to be some of you out there that want to risk an evening in the rain and take NPR up on its awesome offer.

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WHAT: Prairie Home Companion Live
WHEN: Friday, June 5th @ 7:30
WHERE: Greek Theatre
$$$: Half off tickets are $44.50