“I should warn you that I sometimes lie. I do it when it will make a story funnier. I don’t do it to protect the innocent; I don’t know any stories that feature innocent people.” That’s the opening salvo from storyteller Jeffery Ruddell, performing his terrific bit of short non-fiction “Under The Influence” at The Moth.

What is The Moth, you ask? It’s a gathering of storytellers who get together every two weeks (usually somewhere with a lot of booze), and perform their work live before an audience, all based around a predetermined theme. It was founded in 1997 by New York poet George Dawes Green, in an attempt to recapture the freewheeling energy of his days on St. Simon’s Island, where he and his writer pals would gather on the front porch and spin spellbinders. Since then, it’s become a nationwide institution, with chapters popping up in Detroit, Chicago, and thankfully enough, Los Angeles. The next one is happening on April 20th at Silverlake’s fabulous El Cid, a Spanish tavern vaguely reminiscent of the vampire bar in From Dusk Til Dawn — the kind of place where the concrete steps leading down to its entrance are slanted at an odd angle, but by the time you leave, you will be too.

The theme for this next reading is “Spring.” You can listen to some sample stories here, and if you want to get your raconteur on, you can sign up to perform here. Otherwise, feel free to just listen, laugh, and get drawn in like a moth to a flame.

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WHAT: Short-Story Slam
WHEN: April 20th, doors open at 6, readings start at 7:30
WHERE: El Cid
$$$: $7

Miracles are not manufactured — they just happen.  Take for example, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, director James Nguyen’s cult horror phenomenon that explores the question: “What happens when the two worst actors ever born come under attack by an unstoppable mass of horribly CGI’d birds?”

Shot over the course of 5 years for $10,000, with special effects apparently done on a 1982 Commodore, this movie is nothing if not a labor of love.  The flick debuted (though a better word would be “crashed”) at the Sundance Film Festival last year, when Nguyen rented a private screening room after driving to Park City with a van full of fake birds and flyers reading “WHY DID THE EAGLES AND VULTURES ATTACK?” Its trailer is the funniest thing I’ve seen since the GOP website went live, and it gives weight to Vice Magazine’s summation of the picture: “If this a joke, it’s the JFK assassination of jokes.”

James Nguyen himself will be there to introduce the film when it plays at midnight on April 16th at the Silent Movie Theater. He has recently had himself legally trademarked as “The Master of Romantic Thrillers” (I am not kidding), so feel free to address him as such during the Q&A.  Respect!

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WHAT: “Where-is-your-God-now”-level bad horror movie
WHEN: April 16, midnight
WHERE: The Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $12

To get to L’Scorpion, you must first pass by three tattoo parlors, five souvenir shops, eight dead celebrity’s names on the Walk of Fame, a strip joint that looks like it should’ve been shut down back when aforementioned dead celebrities were still alive, and innumerable alleys emanating fluffy clouds of piss.  It’s the kind of place only an idiot or a tourist would end up.

Luckily for me, I am the former.

Because L’Scorpion, let me tell you, is l’sweet.

A long, high cavern with giant mounds of melted candlewax spilling down the walls and a towering bar stacked with every type of tequila ever fermented, the place looks like a combination of Dracula’s castle and wherever Danny Trejo is going when he dies.  There are tequila drinks here that violate the laws of both man and God.  You can almost hear The Almighty calling down, “No, L’Scorpion, I command thee, do not make a martini out of mescal and canned pineapple juice.” They do it anyway.

Which is good — you’ll need it.  Because Monday nights are when they turn the back-room into a defiantly fly-by-night comedy club, featuring one mic, two speakers, about thirty jolly hipsters, and a motley crew of aspiring stand-ups.  You will not be bored.  Even when the comedy’s sucking, it’s being delivered by somebody unfailingly memorable, i.e. a white dude with an unnerving talent for aural blackface, or a fearless middle-aged gentleman cracking wise about the congenital birth defect that makes his head look like something created while playing around with the distortion effects on your webcam.  You can’t get this stuff at The Laugh Factory.

Tequila and open-mic comedy: has there ever been a more fitting combination?

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WHAT: Open-mic comedy at tequila speakeasy
WHEN: Every Monday starting at 10 pm
WHERE: L’Scorpion
$$$: $10 for mescal-based cocktails

Echo Park’s Tavin vintage and consignment store is hosting the second of their Little Birds reading series – appropriately titled Little Birds #2 – tomorrow night at 7 p.m.

Readings will include pieces by artist and actress Grace Zabriskie (of Big Love fame), author and filmmaker Jessica Hundley (who’ll be presenting slides from her book about Dennis Hopper – which sounds totally awesome if you ask me… which you obviously did because we’re basically best friends), and a special appearance by Pamela Des Barres (author of I’m with the Band). Not only will you be treated to some refined culture, but there’ll be wine as well, provided by Bear Flag. It should be an awesome evening and an equally awesome start to the weekend, but the reading starts promptly at 7:30, so don’t be late!

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WHAT: Little Birds #2
WHEN: Friday, March 12th @ 7 p.m. – 9 p.m.
WHERE: Tavin Boutique
$$$: Free

This sounds more like a screening that should take place during Halloween, but some of us like to celebrate the gruesome holiday year-round, right? So this film Scar 3D will screen tonight at the Downtown Independent with a Q&A with it’s creators after the film. The film used legit Reel D technology in HD so be prepared for some intense visuals. As you may have guessed, there will be blood. Lots and lots of blood. Apparently during past screenings people have been sent to the hospital and at the least thrown up. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen tonight. The organizers are prepared for all issues with help from a bunch of sexy nurses with smelling salts for those who can’t handle the graphic nature of the film. The movie’s story seems pretty bleh, but I would go just to see if my stomach could handle it. It would make for an interesting Wednesday night, that’s for sure.

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WHAT: Scar 3D
WHEN: Tuesday, February 24th @ 8:30 pm
WHERE: The Downtown Independent
$$$: $5 for members, $10 regular

Okay, so maybe not ghosts per se, but you can get a chance to meet your favorite dead authors at Upright Citizens Brigade.  For only five bucks, you can experience the wonders of reincarnation as H.G. Wells leads a discussion (and perhaps a brawl?) between the recently-deceased JD Salinger and the king of Romantic mysteries, Edgar Allan Poe.  Ever wondered why Poe married his 13-year-old cousin or what made Salinger give up Scientology in favor of Christian Science?  Well, you can ask them in person because the event is all about audience interaction.  The whole thing promises to be hilarious (UCB events always are) and, best of all, it helps raise money for 826LA, a really awesome organization that’s dedicated to helping kids become creative thinkers and strong writers.

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WHAT: 826LA’s Dead Author Readings
WHEN: Friday, February 19th, 7-8 PM
WHERE: Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
$$$: 5

photo by Tom Murphy VII (Brighterorange)

Ya heard? Spend the night with every quasi intellectuals’ crush du jour- Ira Glass. Spend the night listening to him talk, at least, like you always do but this time in person! KCRW presents “A Night with Ira Glass: Radio Stories and Other Stories” at UCLA’s Royce Hall in March. This would make the perfect gift for your slightly nerdy (but ultimately cool as fuck) girlfriend, boyfriend or bff. You’ll hear about behind the scenes of This American Life from Mr. Glass himself, and he’ll talk personally about the show, his influences, and the elements that make a good story. You’ll also get the opportunity to ask him questions. There’s two shows, and KCRW subscribers get first dibs on tickets (may be a good excuse to become a member since they’re fundraising as we speak through their Winter Subscription Drive). Tickets go on sale February 16th for everyone!

WHAT: A Night with Ira Glass
WHEN: March 27th, 7 and 10pm
WHERE: UCLA Royce Hall
$$$: $32-$58

Drag your body to this bloody good night of tricks and treats and shorts. Ok, I was prepared to write this whole post with cliche Halloween puns but instead I’ll just give you the facts: Flux’s Cinema Tuesdays is back with a surprise screening for Fright Night. It really is a surprise, all they say is it will be appropriately “frightening”. And if it’s anything like their other events, featuring Michel Gondry, Spike Jonze, and more I doubt you’ll be disappointed! Here’s what they’re telling us… giving us clues if you will? “Since opening in 1927, the Hollywood Beaux Arts Theatre has been plagued with a series of terrifying incidents, and with Halloween approaching who knows what could happen next.” What good is a Halloween-themed event with out some sort of dress code? They want you dressed in turn-of-the-century clothes! Stick around for a panel discussion with the director and free cocktails from Belvedere Vodka. It will be one spooooky evening!
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WHAT: Fright Night at Cinema Tuesdays
WHEN: Tuesday, October 27th @ 7PM
WHERE: The Montalban
$$$: RSVP!

Local artists and speakers are gathering Saturday night to reflect on the effect of 9/11. The Los Angeles Idealist Network, a community-focused organization of local social activists, is putting on this free event at the Breese Foundation. Poets, painters, sculptors, film makers like Don Burton (screen shot pictured), dancers, and musicians, including our friend Jonathan Byram, who wrote a song for the event, (shameless promotion, what we do best here at BoredLA), will all be there with original pieces. As an audience member, you will have the chance to create your own work on an interactive art wall set up for the night. Click here to read more about the evening on their Facebook event page.
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WHAT: Since Nine Eleven
WHEN: Saturday, September 12th @ 6pm
WHERE: The Breese Foundation
$$$: Free/donations suggested

MOCA is teaming up with Slanguage, a California-based art collective, for the museum’s monthly Engagement Party. You can find anything at these events; like miniature golf and doughnut holes, a flash mob of pharmacists, karaoke, and more.  This Thursday, the first of the Slanguage’s three-month residency, will be the Psychicinema Multiplex. The museum will become carnival-like to screen several different films, multiplex style. All of the screenings will relate to MOCA’s Helter Skelter: LA Art in the 1990’s exhibit from the 90’s, and audience members will be able to engage in conversation regarding the connections between them. It is sure to a be a weird and wild night. MOCA sure knows how to throw a Party.

UPDATE from Slanguage:
“The event will feature a fortune telling family, telling visitors’ fortunes; an interactive artwork, Artifice Orange, by Slanguage member, Arnold Vargas; and a participatory urban planning exercise, Slang-topia: Rethinking the City, through which artist and urban planner James Rojas will use a medley of recycled materials to assist participants in creating an ideal urban form.”

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WHAT: Psychicinema Multiplex @ MOCA Engagement Party
WHEN: Thursday, September 3rd @ 7pm
WHERE: MOCA Grand Avenue
$$$: Free

This weekend, the American Cinematheque at the Aero Theater in Santa Monica is offering up two one night film screenings. Combining them together in one post is pretty stupid, since both are so very different from each other. Oh well, too bad, I’m lazy. So, Saturday night will feature a 70mm screening of Baraka (1992). For those who don’t know, this came out way before Planet Earth or anything like that. With out any dialogue, the film relies completely on images, themes, and music. It was filmed in 24 countries around the world and it’s goal was to apparently find some sort of universal culture through out the world. Deep. Then Sunday night will feature a film on the completely opposite end of the spectrum: a little 80’s movie we’d like to call, The Monster Squad (1987). It’s got all your favorite monsters including Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolfman, and more fighting little children. Cool. Plus the director will be there to give live commentary. Who needs DVD bonus features?
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WHAT: American Cinematheque’s One Night Screenings
WHEN: Saturday, August 1st & Sunday, August 2nd @ 7:30PM
WHERE: Aero Theatre
$$$: $7-$10

Machine Project just informed us that no, they haven’t moved, you’re just looking at the Porta-Hedge parked out in front of their building. For one night only, the creator, Justin Shull, of this strange yet interesting project will tell you all about their cross-country tour and let you inside the unique car. As seen in the picture, it is pretty much a trailer covered in leaves powered by solar panels that gets parked in different sorts of places around the country. Inside, the hedge is filled with an observation lab, a video surveillance system, peep holes, chalkboards, and perfectly suited bird noises. Could be perceived as maybe 10% sketchy, but it’s at least 90% cool. Justin will also be joined tonight by the creator of Waffle Shop, John Rubin. This is no ordinary shop, it is also a talk show venue. And since it’s located in Pittsburgh, this might be the closest you get to experiencing the real deal! As you can tell, these guys like to take the familiar and mix it all up to create something totally new and unique, so check it outttt!
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WHAT: Waffle Shop Meets Porta-Hedge Talk & Show and Tell
WHEN: Tuesday, July 28th @ 8pm
WHERE: Machine Project
$$$: Free

So just wanted to point out that the Landmark is hosting a screening of the new film, Adam, Thursday night, featuring a Q&A with the director and star. And since I totally had no idea Paper Heart had a screening with Michael Cera at the Arclight, I decided I need to inform you of this lovely event. And nope, unfortunately Hugh Dancy won’t be there. For those who don’t know, he plays Adam in the movie, and you might remember him being super cute in other movies like Confessions of a Shopaholic and The Jane Austen Book Club. Ok, I have never actually seen these films… at least fully. I caught the end of The JABC and yeah, very very cute. So cute in fact, that I may just have to go to this screening in the hopes that there will be a fun little surprise in store for us, the audience members. Like Mr. Dancy making an appearance. Ok I will shut up. The movie looks really good. Might as well check it out and learn a thing or two about the process and listen to the cute Rose Byrne speak. She plays Adam’s love interest in the film and to the male audience members, may be equally, if not cuter, than Hugh Dancy.
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WHAT: Adam screening with Q&A to follow
WHEN: Thursday, July 30th @ 7:25PM
WHERE: The Landmark
$$$: $12

Just got an e-mail from Machine Project about some serious events happening in the near future. This Friday, Jamie Zigelbaum, a Ph.D. student at the MIT Media Lab, will present a lecture about computer interfaces and their interaction with humans. This may sound a bit over your head, but we deal with this everyday and you might just learn something interesting. And to be honest, the description of this event is a bit over my head. So that’s all you get from me. Check out their site to find out more. (I trust in Machine Project to provide us with mentally and creatively stimulating events, so I’m sure they won’t disappoint).

Speaking of creativity– Coming the first week in August, Machine Project will play host to it’s new workshop, Monster Props and Costumes. It’s a bit expensive, $250 for non-members, $225 for members, but it includes four 3 hour classes, tools, and a basic materials kit. It’s a pretty good deal because pounds of liquid latex and foam rubber aren’t exactly cheap. You will be able to create your own awesome Halloween costume after this! Cooooool. Sign up soon!
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WHAT: Computer Interface Lecture///Monster Costume Workshop
WHEN: Friday, July 24th @ 8pm///August 4th, 6th, 11th, & 13th @ 7-10PM
WHERE: Machine Project
$$$: Free///$250

If you haven’t heard of 826LA yet, it’s a really great nonprofit writing and tutoring center that basically teaches kids to be creative geniuses.  On the 30th, they’re hosting the fourth installment of their program Tiny Vaudeville at the Echoplex.  This month’s lineup is a surprise, but the performers in the past have been top-notch, so this program doesn’t seem likely to disappoint.  If you plan to go, RSVP now because the first 200 people that donate in any amount ($10 suggested) will get a receipt for a tax-deductible donation.  If you don’t get these tickets, it’s 15 big ones, cash only at the door.  Translation: now’s cheaper than later.

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WHAT: Tiny Vaudville #4 to benefit 826LA
WHEN: Tuesday, June 30th @ 8-10 PM
WHERE: The Echoplex
$$$: Choose your price now, $15 later

Trinie Dalton will be over at Machine Project this Sunday giving a talk on mirrors. Sound lame? Well, it isn’t! Think about all those scary movies you’ve seen that incorporate mirrors. Why the hell are those scenes so scary? Find out Sunday! She will be screening clips from classic art cinema films including many from Giallo horror films. Then the second half will consist of short animations by many different artists. She will be publicizing her new anthology MYTHTYM, three books on mythological themes with work from over 50 artists and writers. You gotta admit, it’s a pretty strange, but pretty interesting, subject!
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WHAT: Trinie Dalton’s MYTHTYM
WHEN: Sunday, June 21st @ 8pm
WHERE: Machine Project Space
$$$: Free

I was sitting in traffic an hour ago listening to NPR and they announced that Garrison Keillor was going to be hosting Prairie Home Companion at the Greek Theatre tonight.  I already knew that.  Then they said that they were, for a short time, holding something called the “We Hope It Doesn’t Rain Sale” where tickets are half off.  Now that’s a pretty good deal for any Prairie Home junkie because the tickets to tonight’s event aren’t cheap.  As soon as I got home, I looked all over KPCC’s website and found no mention of the sale, but at Prairie Home’s website, I found a link to Goldstar, which is offering the tickets for half off.  Hurrah!  I have no idea how many are left, and even at half off they’re still $44.50, but if you’re a Garrison fan, that’s not so bad, right?  Anyway, the half-off tickets are here and the Prairie Home Companion event is tonight at 7:30.  In addition to Keillor and his regular companions, Sheryl Crow and K.D. Lang will be there.   I’ll admit, I’m not the hugest Prairie Home fan, but that show has a huge, huge following so there have to be some of you out there that want to risk an evening in the rain and take NPR up on its awesome offer.

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WHAT: Prairie Home Companion Live
WHEN: Friday, June 5th @ 7:30
WHERE: Greek Theatre
$$$: Half off tickets are $44.50

Beyond Baroque lives a happy Bohemian life as a bookstore, independent publisher and creative space near the beach in Venice that has been offering art and literature programs since its opening in 1968.  If you’re looking to tap into the writing community in the great city of Los Angeles, a good place to begin your search is Beyond Baroque.  Let me break it down:
Monday: 8pm Literary and Experimental Fiction workshop with Angie Kirk
Tuesday: 8pm Creative Non-Fiction workshop with Tonga Nguyen
Wednesday: 8pm the West Coast’s longest running, free poetry workshop with Ellyn Maybe
Thursday: 8pm Alternative Screenplay workshop with Matt Byrnes
Saturday: 1:30pm Poetry (or Prose) workshop with Bob Foster

I realize this post could have been helpful earlier in the week.  What’s so great about Beyond Baroque, though, is that the community has not and is not going anywhere.

There are also some purchasable workshops/training that you can read about on Beyond Baroque’s website.  Also, check the website before you show up for the first time, so you will know what you will need to bring.  Some workshops ask you to bring ten copies of your poetry, for example.  All of these daily/evening[ly] workshops are free.

Besides these workshops, Beyond Baroque is open Fridays from 11am-6pm.  boredLA will keep you posted about upcoming events.  You can find a more extensive history of Beyond Baroque, including information about its impressive literary and artistic affiliations and accomplishments, on their myspace.
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WHAT: Beyond Baroque Writing Workshops
WHEN: Monday – Thursday at 8pm, Saturday at 1:30
WHERE: Beyond Baroque in Venice Beach
$$$: free free free!

This past weekend, we witnessed USC host Shelf Life: A Big Day For Small Press… and it was truly something to behold. Now the L.A. Times is taking over UCLA for their Festival of Books. The two-day festival is stocked full with all things books and its all free. All day Saturday and Sunday, panel discussions will be held in doors and seating is limited to order your 75 cent tickets early! (75 cents because it’s through evil Ticketmaster— but guess what? Ticketmaster took off like, all of their service charges in the name of literature! That’s sorta nice. Would’ve been nicer if they were free… anyway… back to the post….) Further events include outdoor stage activities featuring children’s TV group Yo Gabba Gabba!, a cooking stage to teach you about the Farmer’s Market, the author of Puff the Magic Dragon, live music by 826LA’s Teeny Tiny Vaudeville and UCLA’s Awaken A Capella , poetry, cultural readings, and of course the L.A. Times stage with enough celebrities-turned-authors to make your head spin. (Tori Spelling, Kristin Chenoweth, Bob Barker, Alyssa Milano, Marlee Matlin, and more). Ok, there’s a lot of shit going on at this festival, I really can’t fit it all in. Basically you should check it out. It may not have that indie vibe going that USC’s festival had, but you know how UCLA is– always trying to one-up USC… and usually failing   : )
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WHAT: L.A. Times Festival of Books
WHEN: Saturday, April 25th @ 10am-6pm & Sunday, April 26th @ 10am-5pm
WHERE: UCLA
$$$: Free ($0.75 for indoor panel discussions)

We try to stay away from posting too many events from the colleges some of us writers attend, but unfortunately (or fortunately), LA colleges offer some pretty cool happenings, including this weekend’s Shelf Life at USC. For everyone into indie publishers, writers, artists, designers, and more, this is where you should be Saturday afternoon. From 1-2:30pm, seven well known members of the indie world will be discussing independent publishing. Outside the discussion from 12-4pm, an “indie bazaar” of sorts will be taking place. The organizers promise you’ll find some truly unique, hip, beautiful, intelligent books, magazines, and random items from various indie vendors. What’s a cool festival with out food and music? Don’t worry, they have that covered: a DJ set from Wendy Yao of Ooga Booga and a delicious taco truck. All this wonderfulness is brought to you by the USC Roski School of Fine Arts.

Here’s the lineup for the discussion taken from the Facebook event:

BRUCE CAEN (artist, publisher of No Magazine and author of Sub-Hollywood)
JOE CARDUCCI (writer, producer, former A&R executive of SST Records)
BRIAN KENNON (artist and publisher of 2nd Cannons)
RACHEL KUSHNER (critic, novelist, and editor of Soft Targets journal)
AARON ROSE (artist and publisher of ANP Quarterly)
EMILY ROYSDON (artist and editor of LTTR)
V. VALE (founder/publisher of Search & Destroy and RE/Search Magazines)
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WHAT: Shelf Life: A Big Day for Small Press
WHEN: Saturday, April 18th @ 12-4pm
WHERE: Gin d. Wong Auditorium, Watt Hall Courtyard
$$$: Free