I was sure that there was a Heathers joke to be had in that headline (”Teen Tetricide — Do It”), but you can’t win ‘em all.

ANYWAY.

This Saturday at 8 PM, the underground Echo Park gallery Pehrspace is hosting the opening night of Tetricide, a month-long exhibit of old-school-video-game-inspired artwork. It’s going to be wall-to-wall 8-bit awesomeness, with an emphasis on “interactive and experiential” pieces, with more pixelated imagery than you can swing a flaming arm of fire at. Featured artists include such avant-garde luminaries as J.R. Baldwin (known for creating the “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” board game, which I suppose makes him like the Parker Brother who doesn’t get invited to family reunions anymore) and Sam Yurick (a genre-jumper known for rapping over laptop beats while wearing a homemade Spiderman costume, amongst other great feats of what-the-fuckery.) They’re even hosting the premier of director Felix Lee’s “Back to the Future the Ride” music video, and although I have no idea what that means, I’m deeply intrigued.

The place is extremely difficult to find, detailed directions are here. Plus, it’s free. (Power-ups not included.)

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WHAT: Old-school-game-inspired art show
WHEN: Saturday, July 10th, 8 PM – Midnight
WHERE: Pehrspace
$$$: Free

Apparently, the glee-club nerds grew up to be sexy.

Meet the Silverlake Chorus — a choir group described by its founding member Sam Rader as “warm-hearted Angelenos gathering to create harmonies aplenty while wearing oversized glasses and skinny jeans.” They’ve got no backing band, no choreographed dancing, no Broadway showboating  — but what they do have are lush, all-vocal covers of indie staples like Beck and Regina Spektor (and for all five of you who saw MacGruber, that was them singing the opening theme.) They’re making their splashy debut this Friday at El Cid. Good times are sure to be had by all.

Joining the plethora of talent onstage will be underground stalwarts Alex Lilly (Obi Best), Joaquin Pastor, Pi Jacobs and John Gold. Also performing (and producing their upcoming album) will be Ben Lee, the demon responsible for such Up-With-People-by-way-of-Guantamo-Bay atrocities as “I Love Pop Music”, and  “I’m A Woman Too.” This man needs to get got. However — we cannot hold that against the group at large. Get out to El Cid, people. Gleefulness awaits.

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WHAT: The Silverlake Chorus
WHEN: Friday, June 4th, 8 pm
WHERE: El Cid
$$$: $10

In a world where Blockbuster Video is getting slaughtered by Netflix, Red Box, and my cousin Tito who sells DVD’s out the trunk of his 1996 Nissan Sentra (email me, I’ll hook it up), it takes an LA institution like Laser Blazer to thrive. Formerly co-joined with Kevin Smith’s comic shop Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash (before Smith went off to make his documentary about gun owners with Down Syndrome) Laser Blazer is an old-school, brick-and-mortar movie-aficionado haven, with regulars ranging from Benicio Del Toro and Laurence Fishburne to Matt Groening and Jonah Hill (even Michael Jackson used to stop by back in the day.) Think Amoeba Records, but less overpriced and with fewer people who look like this hanging around. I love it; it’s like the barbershop from Barbershop for geeky film guys.

Another reason to love it: this Saturday at 2 PM, the brilliant internet sketch group Derrick Comedy — creators of such genius bits as a self-defense video made for sociopaths and a 24 parody that somehow manages to be more ridiculous than 24 – will be at the store for a Q&A and a DVD signing. They’ll be autographing copies of Mystery Team, their debut comedy that blew up the Sundance Film Festival and plays like a mash-up of Encyclopedia Brown and Superbad. (Watch the trailer; do not watch it at work.)

You’ll also get a chance to high-five the guy who could (if there is any justice in this world) become the next Spiderman. Team-member Donald Glover, of NBC’s hilarious Community, has just become the center of a Betty White-style internet campaign to make him the star of the Spidey reboot. (My two cents: Peter Parker is from Queens. Tobey Maguire would get his ass kicked in Queens. Donald Glover would not. Edge – Glover.)

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WHAT: Derrick Comedy DVD signing
WHEN: Saturday June 5th, 2 PM
WHERE: Laser Blazer
$$$: Free

In the great pantheon of Films From The 80’s That You Remember Fondly But Have No Idea What Actually Went On In Them, it’s hard to beat Flight of the Navigator.  (The Dark Crystal and that one where Kurt Russell sexually exploits an amnesiac are also high scorers.) The touching tale of friendship between a boy a spaceship that looks like something David Bowie might use as a vacation home has had remarkable psychological staying power for anyone born in the Reagan era. And this Sunday, anyone who wants to indulge some childhood nostalgia has a perfect excuse — the environmental fund-raising group Who Will? We Will! is doing a screening of Navigator at Cinespace in Hollywood, and every dollar they make plants a tree for the Global Releaf program.

You can RSVP on Facebook here, the first 50 people in the door get free popcorn. Plus, there’s a full bar, to help you deal with the fact that you’re watching a movie about a spaceship voiced by Pee Wee Herman who won’t let you pee in privacy. (”I don’t leak, you leak.  Remember?”)

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WHAT: Charity screening of an 80’s kiddie-classic
WHEN: Sunday, May 9th, 5:30 PM
WHERE: Cinespace
$$$: $10

Miracles are not manufactured — they just happen.  Take for example, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, director James Nguyen’s cult horror phenomenon that explores the question: “What happens when the two worst actors ever born come under attack by an unstoppable mass of horribly CGI’d birds?”

Shot over the course of 5 years for $10,000, with special effects apparently done on a 1982 Commodore, this movie is nothing if not a labor of love.  The flick debuted (though a better word would be “crashed”) at the Sundance Film Festival last year, when Nguyen rented a private screening room after driving to Park City with a van full of fake birds and flyers reading “WHY DID THE EAGLES AND VULTURES ATTACK?” Its trailer is the funniest thing I’ve seen since the GOP website went live, and it gives weight to Vice Magazine’s summation of the picture: “If this a joke, it’s the JFK assassination of jokes.”

James Nguyen himself will be there to introduce the film when it plays at midnight on April 16th at the Silent Movie Theater. He has recently had himself legally trademarked as “The Master of Romantic Thrillers” (I am not kidding), so feel free to address him as such during the Q&A.  Respect!

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WHAT: “Where-is-your-God-now”-level bad horror movie
WHEN: April 16, midnight
WHERE: The Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $12

When I tell people about Prayer of the Rollerboys, they usually refuse to believe me that it actually exists.  “No,” they say, “There cannot possibly be a movie where Corey Haim battles an evil gang of Rollerblading crack dealers lead by a direct descendant of Hitler. That would be like Christmas, my birthday, and Free Chocodile Day happening simultaneously.  It’s scientifically unthinkable.”  And then I bust out the trailer on Youtube, with its glorious slow-motion shots of the Haimster skating away from explosions, and I’m all like “BAM! Now what, motherfucker?”

Fools!

On Saturday March 20th, the Silent Movie Theater is hosting a screening of this 1990 straight-to-VHS masterwork as part of its “Stoopid Futures series.”  All month long, the Cinefamily will be exploring different not-terribly-bright cinematic visions of days to come, bestowing upon us the Schwarzeneggerian delights of The Running Man, the 80’s sci-fi flesh-flick Galaxina, and of course, Idiocracy (which I like to think of as “the prequel to The Road.”) Director Rick King will be there for a Q&A after the showing, to clear up any lingering questions about Rollerboys’ plot and to provide living proof that this film was, in fact, made by an adult.

Rest in peace, Mr. Haim.  As far as I’m concerned, this movie has earned you backstage passes in heaven.

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WHAT: Dystopian Rollerblade flick
WHEN: Saturday, March 20th, 10 PM
WHERE: Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $10

Okay, so honestly?  Not the biggest Star Wars fan.  And by biggest I mean not really…at all…ever.  Of course, as a product of the ‘80’s, there was no way I could have made it through without seeing at least a few scenes of Empire Strikes Back, even if it was strictly for the Princess Leia side-bun inspiration or to drool over the oh-so-dreamy Luke Skywalker and his glowing sword.

This Friday, March 12^th, much to the delight of nerdy boys everywhere, and well…me, for that matter, a Star Wars-themed burlesque show will be gracing the stage at the Henry Fonda Theater in Hollywood.  Second in the satirical series so far, the Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret will bring your Princess Leia slave-fantasies to life, inspire you to see Jabba the Hut in a whole new light, and watch Darth Vader transform into the sultry siren we all knew was hiding under that ominous mask.

Judging by the video filmed at the premier Star Warz event (Bordello Bar), the sexiest striptease will be performed by event producer, Courtney Cruz (of Devil’s Playground fame) in her fantastically-futuristic Stormtrooper ensemble, but then again…do you really need any further motivation?

CLEARLY: Star Wars + burlesque beauties = lightsaber MAGIC.

Presales are currently sold out for the Friday night event, so get your butts in gear and snag a last-minute ticket at the door to become a part of LA’s burlesque revival, Jedi-style.

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WHAT: Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret
WHEN: Friday, March 12th, 9pm-2am
WHERE: Henry Fonda Theater
$$$: $20-$30

It’s time to air your dirty laundry.  Mortified, happening every month at the King King Club, offers an exhilarating night of live performance that turns oversharing into an art.

Each month, brave souls submit artifacts from their awkward adolescence — journal entries, home video footage, 8th-grade poetry that will make you want to cut off your ears and fill the holes with dirt — to the event’s organizers.  The six best are then selected be read aloud. Before a club full of complete strangers.

And the most memorable thing about the whole experience?  Its sweetness.

A hip 30-something screens horror films he made at age six (featuring him getting “attacked” by his too-affectionate-for-the-role golden retriever.)  An acid-tongued Echo Parker shares the lurid details of her sophomore-year trip to South America and her trio of “fiery” Chilean host-brothers.  Another guy reads a “Saved by the Bell” script he wrote at 14 — before being joined onstage for conciliatory hug by “Bell’s” executive producer. All the while, we silently remember own cringing teenage embarrassments, most of which pale in comparison to what’s being brought on the mic.  We laugh and cheer for their survival, and our own.

Each night closes out with a Dixieland orchestra swinging out a cover of The Faces’ “Ooh La La” – and as young Rod Stewart said, “I wish that I knew what I know now.” But if we did, we’d never get to experience the cathartic awesomeness that is Mortified.

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WHAT: Mortified
WHEN: Wednesday, March 17th @ 8 PM
WHERE: King King
$$$: $15 in advance, $20 at the door

Indie classics & 80’s flashbacks grace the screen at the New Beverly Cinema this month.  In operation for over 30 years, it offers refuge from the Hollywood world of 30-second intervals and overly action-packed sequences to provide familiar faces and quotable lines at a fraction of the cost.  Here’s what’s in store for you:

Join guest-programmer, Jason Reitman (best known for his director roles on Juno and Thank You for Smoking) as he highlights such decade decadents as: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Boogie Nights among others the 19^th-22^nd.

For a nitty-gritty night full of rare 35mm cult/exploitation films and trailers, plus a free DVD raffle, be sure to check out February’s edition of the Grindhouse Film Fest and enjoy: Penitentiary III & Disco Godfather on the 23^rd.   50’s swooners and crooners are proposed a full night of the amazing Judy Holliday the 26^th-27^th with the award-winning, Born Yesterday and fifties-favorite, It Should Happen To You.

Regardless of your mood, this revival house will leave you cinematically-satisfied with enough left in your pocketbook for noodles and sake after the show. Granted, you could fall into full-on nostalgia-arrest, but with every showing a double feature at just $6-$8 a pop, won’t it be worth it?

View the full calendar HERE.

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WHAT: double-feature flashback flicks
WHEN: daily
WHERE: New Beverly Cinema
$: $6-$8, plus free DVD raffles

It’s getting close to that time of year again, duderinos.

No, I’m not talking about the long days of summer, I’m talking of course about Lebowski Fest, Southern California’s premiere celebration of All Things Dude Related.

This year’s fest takes place beginning on April 2^nd at The Wiltern for The Big Lebowski Movie Party. The festival continues through the 3^rd for a day of bowling at Cal Bowl.

So grab your white Russian and share your favorite quotes and more with other fans of the movie… but this isn’t Vietnam – there are rules. Tickets are a must, and they’re available online via Ticketmaster. Though you can get a 2-Day Achievers Pass, you also have the option of picking up tickets for the individual day events as well. You should probably get yours in advance, unless you want to be the only one polishing your bowling shoes outside of the lanes.

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WHAT: Lebowski Fest
WHEN: Friday April 2^nd // Saturday, April 3rd
WHERE: The Wiltern // Cal Bowl
$$$: $19.99 // $25.00 // $39.99 for a weekend pass. Tickets available here.

Oh no! Herps are attacking the city! Fear not, you did not fall into a cheesy sci-fi flick from the 1950’s. For something to do a little off the beaten path, wander off to Pomona for the Reptile Super Show happening this weekend! There’s probably going to be all sorts of strange critters you never would have guessed existed outside of your dreams, and it’s the perfect opportunity to cure your best friend of their ophidiophobia. Maybe you’ll even find a little scaly buddy of your very own to take home!

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WHAT: Reptile Super Show
WHEN: Saturday, January 9th, 10am – 6pm and Sunday, January 10th, 11am – 5pm
WHERE: Pomona Fairplex, 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Pomona 91768
$$$: $9 for adults, $5 for kids

Heroes and villains and paint, oh my! Friday night is the opening reception of Gallery 1988’s latest art show completely dedicated to He-Man and his super friends (and nemeses). Over 100 artists are participating with their own rendition of the comic series, from character watercolors, epic battle scenes, to the possible monotony of every day life. They’ve even transformed their entryway and interior to mimic Castle Greyskull! All the art will be for sale, with 15% of the proceeds going to the Make A Wish Foundation.

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WHAT: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Art Opening
WHEN: Friday, January 8th, 7pm – 10pm
WHERE: Gallery 1988, 7020 Melrose Ave, 90038
$$$: Free!

Consider this your one stop shop for pretty much everything you need for Black Friday.  Big thanks to Gizmodo for putting together such comprehensive lists.  And Dealnews, well… they’re just the best at what they do.

Dealnews Black Friday Smorgasbord – 78 stores worth of lowered prices.  This is the motherload of major outlets.  Curiously, they left out NewEgg.

Gizmodo’s List of Gadgets and all those things that will be great for the electronics geek in your life (whether or not it’s you).  Page 2– the page that has all the video games– is here.  Page 3 is full of stars! DVDs– click here.

Amazon is Amazon and you know what Amazon is, so click here for Amazon’s Black Friday list in… you know… every possible category.

Just because it says Black Friday, not everything is going to be the best price around.  The list of not-so-great buys that you should avoid can be found if you click here.

And for a visual of the Black Fridays that could have been, but thankfully are not, click here.

If you know of any other particularly great Black Friday deals, please comment and share!

Some of you may know who Dave Malki ! and Kris Straub are already, but for those that don’t, you have a great chance to find out.

For those less familiar with their work, you mayhaps will recognize the names of their respective webcomics, Wondermark and Starslip.  Well on top of all that greatness, they have joined forces to create Tweet Me Harder, a “smash hit comedy podblast” crafted by the two gents.  Things to expect:  rapier-sharp witty repartee, rampant exuberance, an appearance by America’s Favorite Funnyman, Dave “Duckman” Kellett, nemesis (perhaps Arch Nemesis, even) Fake Stan Lee, and many, many pandora’s boxes of comedy sure to be opened.

Note to Antarctic scientists: if sunny Southern California is too far away for you, you can also tune in to tweetmeharder.com to watch a live stream of the show.

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WHAT: Tweet Me Harder LIVE!
WHEN: Saturday, November 14th @ 8pm-10pm
WHERE: The Complex (map)
$$$: FREE!

So it’s been a while since the cell phone was invented.  Also, there have been a few upgrades since that 386 with a 40mb hard drive.  So maybe you have some old tech lying around.  Old tech that you’re thinking you kept for the sake of nostalgia.  Or perhaps one day you wanted to show your kids what a video game system was like when you still had to use your hands.  In any case, the lovely gurus at Engadget put together an extremely comprehensive list of where to recycle just about any tech you’ve got.

Check it out here.

And let us know if it actually works!

I’m so so so excited for Sing Along Sound of Music at the Hollywood Bowl.  When I was little, The Sound of Music was my FAVORITE movie.  For more than a year of my life, I watched the movie (both VHS tapes of it!) every single day.  I dreamed of being a Von Trapp.  So, yeah, you can bet I’ll be up in the benches belting along with Julie Andrews.  For those of you not in the know, starting at 6:00 there will be a costume parade for everyone that decides to show up decked out in their German beer wench Halloween costumes and/or leiderhosen.  And then at 7:30 the real magic begins – The Sound of Music on a GIANT screen with everyone singing along.

Yeah, I know that it’s a month away, but this event sells out every year, so I figured I’d give you guys a heads up while there are still tickets to be had.  I’ll post a reminder closer to the date.  But, in the meantime, go get your tickets!  The cheapest seats are just six bucks, which is like 1/3 the cost of seeing a movie at the Arclight.

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WHAT: Sing Along Sound of Music
WHEN: Saturday, September 26th @ 6 PM
WHERE: Hollywood Bowl
$$$: between $6 and $69

Tomorrow morning at 8am run, do not walk, to Ticketmaster.com because Paul Reubens is bringing Pee Wee back with a new live stage show in November at the Music Box!  As a kid growing up in the 80’s I loved both Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Pee Wee’s Playhouse.  After I grew older I began to appreciate Mr Ruben’s more as I better understood the subtleties of his comedy and  again by a chance exposure to a rerun of the 1981 HBO special he did for an adult audience as Pee Wee (if you get a chance to see this old special take it, as it is hilarious and still holds up quite well).

Back in the early 1980’s Paul Rubins created Pee Wee at the Groundlings, and later  sold out a live stage show at The Roxy for five months before ever bringing the act directly to children with his movies and TV show.  I am sure this new stage production will echo more closely the original act than it’s later children’s television version (which was still amazing!).

The new production promises to have many of your favorite playhouse characters like Pterry the pterodactyl, Chairry, Jambi the Genie, and many others.  There is no way I am missing this show.  I plan to rob an old lady this evening after work, I will then use her perscription drug money to buy tickets to Pee Wee.

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WHAT: Pee Wee Herman’s triumphant return to the stage!!!
WHEN: Previews start on Sun 11/8, and show will run through Sunday 11/29.
WHERE: The Music Box at the Fonda
$$$: $38.50 – $68.50

I want to date a vampire so bad.

I’ve seen Twilight. I watch True Blood. I know what’s up. Vampires are hot and sexy, and they thirst for my blood. And you know what, I’m ready to let them get it.

The first ever Vampire-Con kicks off next weekend, with daytime festivites and contests for all the fake vampires and fang-bangers (because everyone knows real vampires can’t go out during the day) spiraling into a crazy “danse macabre” – Vampirella’s Ball. DJ Gary Calamar, music supervisor for True Blood, is even spinning a special set.

So if LoveBitten hasn’t been working out for you, you’re sure to find your perfect match there. But be careful, you might wake up with some pretty gnarly hickeys, or even worse, the deadliest yet coolest STD in the world: Vampirism.

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WHAT: Vampire convention and party
WHEN: August 14-16
WHERE: The Music Box at the Fonda
$$$: Day 15 / Night 30 / Combo 40

Don’t you wish a billion dollars would just appear right before your very eyes? Well, guess what? It’s possible. Just have your friend blindfold you, drive you to the LA Convention Center, walk inside, and then take off the blindfold! It’s the World’s Fair of Money, back for the first time since 1975! You’ll get to see real $100,000 bills, 1913 Liberty Head nickels, a $20 gold coin from the Gold Rush, and more. Ok, this probably only sounds cool to a few of us geeks out there, but if you’re a coin collector, you definitely want to try to get out to this. Especially when the tag line for the show is, “Discover your GOLDEN dreams”. Catchy. There’s always a chance you’ll catch an intricate heist planned by Clooney, Pitt, Brosnan, and co. Who knows?!
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WHAT: World’s Fair of Money
WHEN: Wednesday, August 5th – Sunday, August 9th
WHERE: LA Convention Center
$$$: $6

Head to the Silent Movie Theatre this weekend for a crash course in all things Muppet. You’ll get to see the Muppet’s first appearance on TV, the pilot titled, The Muppets: Sex and Violence (that’s a fact!), and a second half filled with all your favorite Muppet tunes including Menomana, Rainbow Connection, and C is for Cookie. Songs from special guests like Elton John will also be on the lineup. Mupeteer, Dave Goelz, who brought Gonzo to life, will be in attendance to talk to the audience.  Die hard fans really shouldn’t miss this, and even if you aren’t as obsessed as Jason Segal, you’ll still have a good time. I fear this will sell out ASAP, so hopefully you’ll get a spot and/or they will have another Muppet-filled evening. If only you could take a real class called Muppet History 101… one can dream.
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WHAT: Muppet History 101 & Muppet Music Moments Screening
WHEN: Friday, July 31st @ 8PM
WHERE: Cinefamily’s Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $12