Recently, some altruistic genius sat down and thought to himself: “What are the things that Angelenos love above all else? What common ground do we share in this sprawling multicultural metropolis of ours?”

Hmmm. Hauling ass in our cars around Dash buses that are going 11 mph and taking up two lanes? Sure, we all dig that.  Burning shit down whenever the Lakers win/lose? That’s something we can get behind. Rooting for each other’s failure? Yes, but mostly in Hollywood. Bitching about the lack of carpool lanes on the 405 like a fat guy who thinks that buying bigger pants is the answer? Hallelujah, we are one. But those are all surface traits. If you really want to dig deep into what unspoken bonds unite as brothers and sisters in the City of Angels… then I have four words for you.

Outdoor movies. Food trucks.

And starting this weekend, the good people at the Outdoor Cinema Foodfest will bring those two timeless LA infatuations together. All summer long, they’ll be screening classics like The Big Lebowski, The Breakfast Club, Pulp Fiction, and The Princess Bride (as well as The Hangover, for anyone who wants to get their drink mickey’d by that movie’s legions of backwards-white-baseball-cap-wearing fans), all while serving victuals from such mobile luminaries as The Grilled Cheese Truck, Canter’s, The South Philly Experience, and Nom Nom’s.

This Saturday they’ll be showing Swingers, one of the all-time great love letters to this town, that rare movie about a flash-in-the-pan subculture that still remains funny, poignant, and truthful for years (sixteen years, oh my God) after its release. Insert “you’re so money” joke here.

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WHAT: Outdoor movies + food trucks
WHEN: Saturdays, all summer, doors open at 6:30
WHERE: Grand Hope Park
$$$: $8

Hey all, you asked for this. What, you say? It’s best described as a screening of 10 short films featuring interactive elements (Phantom of the Opera style sing-a-long anyone?) Some of the films include: A lascivious magician that makes husbands disappear and then beds their wives, The awkward moments after an inter-racial swingers party, Paula Deen facing off against the Busch Bean’s Golden Retriever, A tribute to porn’s greatest boom operator, A tickle fight that goes on for too long, and at least one of the films feature Michael Cera and Elaine Carroll. How are you not intrigued? This Saturday there will be a screening of these gems at Synchronicity Space; the event is the culmination of General Delight’s creative output thus far. General Delight is, well, click on the photo and read for yourself. Oh yeah, and, open bar!

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WHAT: General Delight; new video works, comedy and otherwise screening/reception

WHEN: Saturday June 26th, Screening @ 8:00pm; reception to follow
WHERE: Synchronicity Space, 4306 Melrose Ave
$$$: gratis

In a world where Blockbuster Video is getting slaughtered by Netflix, Red Box, and my cousin Tito who sells DVD’s out the trunk of his 1996 Nissan Sentra (email me, I’ll hook it up), it takes an LA institution like Laser Blazer to thrive. Formerly co-joined with Kevin Smith’s comic shop Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash (before Smith went off to make his documentary about gun owners with Down Syndrome) Laser Blazer is an old-school, brick-and-mortar movie-aficionado haven, with regulars ranging from Benicio Del Toro and Laurence Fishburne to Matt Groening and Jonah Hill (even Michael Jackson used to stop by back in the day.) Think Amoeba Records, but less overpriced and with fewer people who look like this hanging around. I love it; it’s like the barbershop from Barbershop for geeky film guys.

Another reason to love it: this Saturday at 2 PM, the brilliant internet sketch group Derrick Comedy — creators of such genius bits as a self-defense video made for sociopaths and a 24 parody that somehow manages to be more ridiculous than 24 – will be at the store for a Q&A and a DVD signing. They’ll be autographing copies of Mystery Team, their debut comedy that blew up the Sundance Film Festival and plays like a mash-up of Encyclopedia Brown and Superbad. (Watch the trailer; do not watch it at work.)

You’ll also get a chance to high-five the guy who could (if there is any justice in this world) become the next Spiderman. Team-member Donald Glover, of NBC’s hilarious Community, has just become the center of a Betty White-style internet campaign to make him the star of the Spidey reboot. (My two cents: Peter Parker is from Queens. Tobey Maguire would get his ass kicked in Queens. Donald Glover would not. Edge – Glover.)

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WHAT: Derrick Comedy DVD signing
WHEN: Saturday June 5th, 2 PM
WHERE: Laser Blazer
$$$: Free

In the great pantheon of Films From The 80’s That You Remember Fondly But Have No Idea What Actually Went On In Them, it’s hard to beat Flight of the Navigator.  (The Dark Crystal and that one where Kurt Russell sexually exploits an amnesiac are also high scorers.) The touching tale of friendship between a boy a spaceship that looks like something David Bowie might use as a vacation home has had remarkable psychological staying power for anyone born in the Reagan era. And this Sunday, anyone who wants to indulge some childhood nostalgia has a perfect excuse — the environmental fund-raising group Who Will? We Will! is doing a screening of Navigator at Cinespace in Hollywood, and every dollar they make plants a tree for the Global Releaf program.

You can RSVP on Facebook here, the first 50 people in the door get free popcorn. Plus, there’s a full bar, to help you deal with the fact that you’re watching a movie about a spaceship voiced by Pee Wee Herman who won’t let you pee in privacy. (”I don’t leak, you leak.  Remember?”)

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WHAT: Charity screening of an 80’s kiddie-classic
WHEN: Sunday, May 9th, 5:30 PM
WHERE: Cinespace
$$$: $10

Miracles are not manufactured — they just happen.  Take for example, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, director James Nguyen’s cult horror phenomenon that explores the question: “What happens when the two worst actors ever born come under attack by an unstoppable mass of horribly CGI’d birds?”

Shot over the course of 5 years for $10,000, with special effects apparently done on a 1982 Commodore, this movie is nothing if not a labor of love.  The flick debuted (though a better word would be “crashed”) at the Sundance Film Festival last year, when Nguyen rented a private screening room after driving to Park City with a van full of fake birds and flyers reading “WHY DID THE EAGLES AND VULTURES ATTACK?” Its trailer is the funniest thing I’ve seen since the GOP website went live, and it gives weight to Vice Magazine’s summation of the picture: “If this a joke, it’s the JFK assassination of jokes.”

James Nguyen himself will be there to introduce the film when it plays at midnight on April 16th at the Silent Movie Theater. He has recently had himself legally trademarked as “The Master of Romantic Thrillers” (I am not kidding), so feel free to address him as such during the Q&A.  Respect!

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WHAT: “Where-is-your-God-now”-level bad horror movie
WHEN: April 16, midnight
WHERE: The Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $12

*courtesy of Jerry Avenaim

Greenberg, Noah Baumbach’s latest, is an L.A. story, and I’m hoping it portrays our town more accurately than most. In short, Ben Stiller plays a New Yorker who moves to LA to figure shit out after a psychological rough patch. There are scenes in LA mainstays like Musso & Frank’s and the Gower Gulch Rite-Aid. It’s now playing at the Arclight. If Squid and the Whale is any indication, Noah could tell an L.A. story that I’d be okay with.

WHAT: Greenberg
WHEN: Movie times
WHERE: the Arclight Cinemas, Hollywood
$$$: tickets go for $12 I think these days?

More Hammer Screenings to report. This one is right up my alley, so here goes: April 1st the Hammer Museum is screening What’s On Your Plate?, a documentary about kids and food politics by award-winning filmmaker Catherine Gund. Said to be both “witty and provocative” the documentary comes amongst a plethora of food-awareness media that has caught on in recent months; Food Inc. being nominated for an Oscar and Michael Pollan topping bestsellers’ lists. The film follows two eleven-year old, multiracial city kids as they explore food systems in NYC and as they talk to farmers, storekeepers, and food activists about what we’re really eating. Check it out and maybe find out something about what’s on your plate.

WHAT: Screening of What’s On Your Plate
WHEN: April 1st 7pm
WHERE: Hammer Museum
$$$: free

Spring is in the air, and that means the return of Flux Screening Series, among other things. They’re kicking things off tomorrow night at the Hammer Museum with en evening of short films, videos by the likes of Massive Attack, OK Go, and Air, and live performances. The directors will introduce their shorts and videos, and there will be rarities from Sweden, Japan, France and the UK. If video production is your thang, this is worth a drop-by, especially since it’s free. The program includes Saman Keshavarz’s Luv Deluxe video, which just took home the Best Music Video award at SXSW. Then to liven things up, OK Go will perform at the end of the night. RSVP here.

WHAT: Kick off the Flux Screening Series
WHEN: Tuesday March 23rd 7-11pm
WHERE: Hammer Museum
$$$: free

A fantastic and truly independent film is a screening downtown tomorrow night.  Premiering at Sundance this January,  and then selling out its first screening in Los Angeles last month: One Too Many Mornings is a film you do not want to miss.

Tuesday’s screening will have a Q & A with the filmmakers moderated by John August (the screenwriter of among other things Corpse Bride, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and Go).  Spinning music before and after the screening will be none other than Division Day guitarist, Ryan Wilson.

Having seen the film several times myself, I can say it is wonderfully funny, charming, and definitely worth a watch.  The filmmakers all live, and made the film completely independently, here in Los Angeles; so support your local artists by seeing this hilarious film for only $7!

Synopsis from the One Too Many Mornings Website:

“Peter has just run away from his girlfriend of 5 years, seeking solace in his estranged friend from high school, Fischer.

Fischer lives in a church, for free, in exchange for turning off the lights and locking the doors. It’s a good fit for him – he doesn’t really have any aspirations beyond that. As Fischer tries to help Peter recover, Peter quickly learns that Fischer has much more serious problems of his own.

ONE TOO MANY MORNINGS is a coming of age comedy about how running away from your problems can cause you to smack headfirst into someone else’s.”

The last screening in LA sold out so I suggest getting your tickets in advance here on brown paper tickets.

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WHAT: A chance to see fantastic local cinema!
WHEN: Tuesday, March 16, at 8pm
WHERE: Downtown Independent
$$$: $7

When I tell people about Prayer of the Rollerboys, they usually refuse to believe me that it actually exists.  “No,” they say, “There cannot possibly be a movie where Corey Haim battles an evil gang of Rollerblading crack dealers lead by a direct descendant of Hitler. That would be like Christmas, my birthday, and Free Chocodile Day happening simultaneously.  It’s scientifically unthinkable.”  And then I bust out the trailer on Youtube, with its glorious slow-motion shots of the Haimster skating away from explosions, and I’m all like “BAM! Now what, motherfucker?”

Fools!

On Saturday March 20th, the Silent Movie Theater is hosting a screening of this 1990 straight-to-VHS masterwork as part of its “Stoopid Futures series.”  All month long, the Cinefamily will be exploring different not-terribly-bright cinematic visions of days to come, bestowing upon us the Schwarzeneggerian delights of The Running Man, the 80’s sci-fi flesh-flick Galaxina, and of course, Idiocracy (which I like to think of as “the prequel to The Road.”) Director Rick King will be there for a Q&A after the showing, to clear up any lingering questions about Rollerboys’ plot and to provide living proof that this film was, in fact, made by an adult.

Rest in peace, Mr. Haim.  As far as I’m concerned, this movie has earned you backstage passes in heaven.

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WHAT: Dystopian Rollerblade flick
WHEN: Saturday, March 20th, 10 PM
WHERE: Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $10

Okay, so honestly?  Not the biggest Star Wars fan.  And by biggest I mean not really…at all…ever.  Of course, as a product of the ‘80’s, there was no way I could have made it through without seeing at least a few scenes of Empire Strikes Back, even if it was strictly for the Princess Leia side-bun inspiration or to drool over the oh-so-dreamy Luke Skywalker and his glowing sword.

This Friday, March 12^th, much to the delight of nerdy boys everywhere, and well…me, for that matter, a Star Wars-themed burlesque show will be gracing the stage at the Henry Fonda Theater in Hollywood.  Second in the satirical series so far, the Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret will bring your Princess Leia slave-fantasies to life, inspire you to see Jabba the Hut in a whole new light, and watch Darth Vader transform into the sultry siren we all knew was hiding under that ominous mask.

Judging by the video filmed at the premier Star Warz event (Bordello Bar), the sexiest striptease will be performed by event producer, Courtney Cruz (of Devil’s Playground fame) in her fantastically-futuristic Stormtrooper ensemble, but then again…do you really need any further motivation?

CLEARLY: Star Wars + burlesque beauties = lightsaber MAGIC.

Presales are currently sold out for the Friday night event, so get your butts in gear and snag a last-minute ticket at the door to become a part of LA’s burlesque revival, Jedi-style.

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WHAT: Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret
WHEN: Friday, March 12th, 9pm-2am
WHERE: Henry Fonda Theater
$$$: $20-$30

Anyone looking for a giant dose of Korean fucked-upedness, check out the Downtown Independent Theater on March 10th for their screening of OLDBOY.

Chan-wook Park’s 2003 thriller tells the story of a man locked away in a secret prison for reasons unexplained, only to be mysteriously set free after 15 years, at which point he sets out to politely request some answers.  Or, y’know, yank out some bad dude’s teeth.  Or, in the film’s most famous set-piece, take on an entire hallway full of ruffians armed only with his fists, a hammer, and the kind of volcanic fury I usually feel when Glenn Beck speaks.  This is a revenge saga that goes so far over the top it practically doubles back onto itself like some kind of demented Mobius strip.  (In the first thirty minutes, the main character eats an actual live octopus on camera — and that’s only an, er, appetizer for what comes later.)

The film is being screened as part of the Downtown Independent’s “Enter The Tuesday” series, offering up weekly martial arts masterpieces from all over the planet and free unlimited PBR, which will assuredly make some of OLDBOY’s more ludicrous plot twists go down easier.

To recap: horrifying violence, main guy eats live octopus, free Pabst.  Bring your momma.

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WHAT: OLDBOY screening
WHEN: Tuesday, March 10th, 10 pm
WHERE: Downtown Independent
$$$: $10

The new Lomography Gallery isn’t slacking off when it comes to partying, and what better excuse to have a party than the Oscars? Swing by the gallery before Sunday and fill out your own Oscar ballot in hopes to be on of the 10 people who get the most winners correct. You’ll walk away with your own Oktomat camera that takes 8 pictures in a row to create your own little 8 frame movie. Then on the 7th, head to the gallery at 1pm and take part in a mini-movie making workshop using the Oktomat, Supersampler, and Actionsampler and make a purchase at the store and get a free Lomography Camera Keychain. This will all lead into the Oscars telecast where hopefully you’ll win the contest! The gallery will be serving drinks and don’t worry, they’ve got a lounge for you to sit in and watch in comfort. There will naturally be an after party, with more drinks, a lomography movie screening “Lomo Matrix”, and awards for the Oscar ballot winners! This gallery is quickly turning into my new favorite place!
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WHAT: Oscar Night + workshop and party
WHEN: Sunday, March 7th @ 1PM-post Oscars
WHERE: Lomography Gallery
$$$: Free

Devil’s Night Drive-In, a bi-monthly drive-in movie theater that pops up in downtown L.A., is back at it this month with a special Family Night event, screening John Waters’ Hairspray on March 13^th. The Angel City Derby Girls complete the occasion, carhopping throughout the show and selling classic drive-in goodies like hot dogs, hamburgers, nachos and – of course – popcorn.

As usual, adult tickets are $10, but kids under $12 get in for half-price. They’re taking reservations, but ticket presales stop at 2 p.m. the day of the event, so get yours before there’s no more getting to be got.

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WHAT: John Waters’ Hairspray, Devil’s Night Drive-In
WHEN: Saturday, March 13
WHERE: 240 W. 4th St (at Broadway) Second Floor Roof Parking Lot
$$$: $1o for adults, $5 for kids under 12

Remember when Alice in Wonderland was just a really cool book? (A line stolen from the Twitterverse). No longer, my friends. Ah, well, embrace the blockbuster-Tim-Burton-Madness when it involves a Japanese cosplay cafe and an adult costume party. Next Saturday Royal/T will host an Alice-themed fashion show and a daytime party with lots of sweet treats. They’ve already had a few Alice-themed bashes that I, for one, wish I had attended. To keep your mind in Wonderland, the cafe will offer a $25 tea set starting March 5th, including playing card sandwiches, mini cupcakes with edible “eat me” notes, deep purple macaroons, and a green tea milk blend. Makes me want to throw my own tea party.

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WHAT: Alice in Wonderland Fashion Show/Tea Party
WHEN: Saturday March 6th
WHERE: Royal/T 8910 Washington Blvd, Culver City
$$$: open to the public

This sounds more like a screening that should take place during Halloween, but some of us like to celebrate the gruesome holiday year-round, right? So this film Scar 3D will screen tonight at the Downtown Independent with a Q&A with it’s creators after the film. The film used legit Reel D technology in HD so be prepared for some intense visuals. As you may have guessed, there will be blood. Lots and lots of blood. Apparently during past screenings people have been sent to the hospital and at the least thrown up. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen tonight. The organizers are prepared for all issues with help from a bunch of sexy nurses with smelling salts for those who can’t handle the graphic nature of the film. The movie’s story seems pretty bleh, but I would go just to see if my stomach could handle it. It would make for an interesting Wednesday night, that’s for sure.

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WHAT: Scar 3D
WHEN: Tuesday, February 24th @ 8:30 pm
WHERE: The Downtown Independent
$$$: $5 for members, $10 regular

Indie classics & 80’s flashbacks grace the screen at the New Beverly Cinema this month.  In operation for over 30 years, it offers refuge from the Hollywood world of 30-second intervals and overly action-packed sequences to provide familiar faces and quotable lines at a fraction of the cost.  Here’s what’s in store for you:

Join guest-programmer, Jason Reitman (best known for his director roles on Juno and Thank You for Smoking) as he highlights such decade decadents as: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Boogie Nights among others the 19^th-22^nd.

For a nitty-gritty night full of rare 35mm cult/exploitation films and trailers, plus a free DVD raffle, be sure to check out February’s edition of the Grindhouse Film Fest and enjoy: Penitentiary III & Disco Godfather on the 23^rd.   50’s swooners and crooners are proposed a full night of the amazing Judy Holliday the 26^th-27^th with the award-winning, Born Yesterday and fifties-favorite, It Should Happen To You.

Regardless of your mood, this revival house will leave you cinematically-satisfied with enough left in your pocketbook for noodles and sake after the show. Granted, you could fall into full-on nostalgia-arrest, but with every showing a double feature at just $6-$8 a pop, won’t it be worth it?

View the full calendar HERE.

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WHAT: double-feature flashback flicks
WHEN: daily
WHERE: New Beverly Cinema
$: $6-$8, plus free DVD raffles

It’s getting close to that time of year again, duderinos.

No, I’m not talking about the long days of summer, I’m talking of course about Lebowski Fest, Southern California’s premiere celebration of All Things Dude Related.

This year’s fest takes place beginning on April 2^nd at The Wiltern for The Big Lebowski Movie Party. The festival continues through the 3^rd for a day of bowling at Cal Bowl.

So grab your white Russian and share your favorite quotes and more with other fans of the movie… but this isn’t Vietnam – there are rules. Tickets are a must, and they’re available online via Ticketmaster. Though you can get a 2-Day Achievers Pass, you also have the option of picking up tickets for the individual day events as well. You should probably get yours in advance, unless you want to be the only one polishing your bowling shoes outside of the lanes.

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WHAT: Lebowski Fest
WHEN: Friday April 2^nd // Saturday, April 3rd
WHERE: The Wiltern // Cal Bowl
$$$: $19.99 // $25.00 // $39.99 for a weekend pass. Tickets available here.

More Valentine’s festivities coming ‘atcha: first up, David Lynch’s Wild at Heart screening at the Downtown Independent at 10:30pm on the 14th for $10 or $25 for two tickets and two beers! Next, the 3rd Annual Lovers and Strangers Valentine’s Art and Music Festival at the Echoplex, presented by the Hear Gallery, Solid Gold, and Everyday. Four bands will perform, lots of DJs, artists, catering by Bold Tacos, photobooths, and live documentary filming. Takes place the 13th at 8pm, 18+, $8 before 10pm, $10 after. Finally, City Sip LA (that tiny wine bar on Sunset in Echo Park known as “wine for the people”) is hosting a beer tasting on V-day featuring 8 beers, cheese, and chocolate for $35 per person. Shouldn’t be too hard to get laid with that combination. 4:30pm-6:00pm. Enjoy the so-called holiday.

*this is by no means an all inclusive roundup

WHAT: ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day
WHEN: Feb. 13th-14th
WHERE: the Downtown Independent, CitySip LA, the Echoplex
$$$: $8-$35

If you don’t have any friends throwing Superbowl parties or if you wouldn’t even watch the Superbowl but feel left out of the mass partying, why not go to the Downtown Independent to watch it on the big screen? It will give you something to do Sunday afternoon, and you’ll get to experience the awesome new theater which I hear has swank, comfy and romantic seats. Seating begins at 2:30pm, accompanied by pretty cheap beer, chicken wings, and nachos. Also, you can stick around after the game and watch their current movie selection- Bronson- for only $5. Best of all, admission for the game screening is FREE.

WHAT: the Superbowl on the big screen
WHEN: Sunday 2:30pm-7:30pm
WHERE: the Downtown Independent, 231 South Main St., Downtown LA
$$$: free admission