“The difference between being ‘naked’ and being ‘nekkid’ is, that when you are naked, you have no clothes on. However, when you are nekkid, you have no clothes on and you are up to something.” — Tom Robbins, “Skinny Legs and All”

This Saturday, happening in 70 cities and 20 countries across the globe, is World Naked Bike Ride day — a world-wide celebration of all things bicycle and body-image. Anyone with a bike and a willingness to go balls-out (or, y’know, whatever-out) is welcome to join. And as part of my quest to make the unsuspecting civilians of Los Angeles see things they can’t unsee, I too will be participating. Ladies, please, CALM YOURSELVES.

Is nudity mandatory? Not at all — this thing is “bare as you dare.” (Although for anyone who’s seen me with my shirt off, it’ll be more like “bear as you dare”– zing!) Everyone’s going to meet in Echo Park at 1:30 PM for a body-decorating party, with the ride leaving at 4 PM sharp. It’ll be a medium-paced 13-mile loop around the East Side, ending in a barbecue/after-party at a to-be-disclosed location. (Please say “Pat Robertson’s house”, please say “Pat Robertson’s house.”) RSVP on Facebook to get ride directions and info.

We’re gonna get a medal for this one, kids.

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WHAT: World Naked Bike Ride Day
WHEN: Saturday, June 12th, pre-ride at 1:30, ride at 4
WHERE: Echo Park (rsvp for details)
$$$: Free

The Venice Beach Carnevale will not be televised. Nor will it actually be held in Venice; apparently, tonight’s hedonistic costume contest/dance-party/annual gathering of LA’s freaky people has somehow gotten too insane for the uptight streets of Venice Beach and has been moved to a secret location around Jefferson/Sepulveda. (If this were a grindhouse movie, the announcer would now solemnly intone: “It‘s a party so wild they had to move it to Culver City… where life is cheap!”)

Ok, let’s take a step back and think about this for a moment — how, exactly, does one get kicked out of Venice? Have you been there lately? You could walk around with a severed head and tourists would still ask to take pictures with you. Last time I was hanging out on the boardwalk, a guy in a leopard-print vest and bootie-shorts tried to sell me some meth, as well as (I am not making this up), a live, 5-foot python. Anyway so now I’ve got all this meth and a live python and my friends no longer like to come over. Point that I’m making here, people, it takes a lot to get your ass 86′d from Venice Beach. This event deserves your consideration.

Will there be a full-size intergalactic pirate ship known as the Space Wench to gallivant around? There will be. Will there be floor-shaking beats from the likes of Fatfinger, Todd Spero, and divaDanielle (who I’ve pimped so many times on this site, people are are going to sooner or later think I’m involved in some kind of payola scheme?) Bet your ass. Will there be a masquerade costume contest that lands somewhere between Salvador Dali and Eyes Wide Shut? Most definitely. Will there be a certain amount of public nudity? Yes ma’am. Will there be acrobats and fire performers and go-go dancers? What do you think this is, the Republican National Convention? (Ok, bad example.) Just remember to come in costume — “exotic and erotic attire encouraged.”

And if you want to get in, RSVP here today to get the address and final details for tonight.

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WHAT: Carnevale masquerade party
WHEN: Saturday June 5th, 8:30 PM – 3:30 AM
WHERE: Culver City (RSVP to get address)
$$$: $15 (or $35 for VIP/open bar)

If you haven’t noticed, the food truck world is a little oversaturated at the moment; the next generation of LA’s food truck scene involves not only edible delights, but art, technology, and fashion as well. Welcome the Summer Fling Truck- a crazy conglomerate of Blood Is the New Black t-shirts (check these out- they are pretty rad- www.bloodisthenewblack.com), I Make My Case- a division of case-mate, and Coolhaus- custom-made ice cream sandwiches. What the hell could be better than T-shirts and ice cream sold from a truck at a summer shindig? Nothing, I say. The T-shirts are seriously awesome and designed by various artists especially for the Summer Fling truck, and the ice cream sammies, as I’m sure you’ve heard by now, are phenomenal, with custom flavors like chocolate cookies + red velvet ice cream, oatmeal cookies + black truffle pistachio ice cream, and chocolate cookies + dirty mint chip ice cream (rawrrr).

This Saturday kicks off the lunch of this particular Summer Fling (maybe you’ll meet yours at the party- holla), at a mobile pop-up shop at Nomad Gallery from 8pm-12am. There will be a live performance by Dunes, DJing, live screenprinting, and of course Case-Mate, Blood is the New Black, and Coolhaus products!

As Natasha Case of Coolhaus says: “Taking the ‘taco truck’ or ice cream truck concept and co-opting it into mobile fashion could inspire other industries to go mobile as well. We are speaking to our Echo Park community and showcasing all of the creativity that is coming from this area.”

Come kick off the summer in style and ice cream; I’ll be there.

WHAT: Summer Fling Launch Party
WHEN: Sat. June 5th 8pm-12am
WHERE: Nomad Gallery 1993 Blake Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90039
$$$: RSVP here http://bloodisthenewblack.com/summerfling/

If you’re still feeling the classic vibe (see last week’s Try A Vintage On For Size), get down with the Vintage Fashion Expo this Saturday and Sunday (April 24th & 25th) at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. One of five yearly shows with pieces ranging from 1850-1980, this for-sale gathering of timeless clothing, jewelry, accessories, and textiles is essentially the longest-running vintage show in the country and sure to get your creativity flowing.

Rub elbows with fellow vintage aficionados, designers, and…probably a fair share of lookie-loos (myself included) to find something your grandma could have owned, but now you do.  Look forward to unforgettable styles from: Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, and Pucci or for those lucky few who have already inherited a necklace or two, there will be FREE appraisals on site by vintage jewelry expert, Leigh Leshner as well.

They don’t seem to offer drinks, but you’ll be within walking distance of the beach, and will definitely need some fresh air after a hard history-hunting day anyways.  Plus, it’s co-sponsored by the Federation of Vintage Fashion, benefiting the education and preservation of such events, pieces, and the next generation of vintage lovers, which is pretty rad.  I’m IN.

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WHAT: Vintage Fashion Expo
WHEN: Saturday, April 24th 10:30am-6pm & Sunday, April 25th 11am-5pm
WHERE: Santa Monica Civic Auditorium
$$$: $5 with Goldstar, $10 without

Ron Robinson, Fred Segal, and FILTER magazine invite you to shop in style this Saturday, with music, drinks, and pizza at the Fred Segal store on Melrose. Who doesn’t love music, drinks, and pizza-especially together? Scratch that; who doesn’t love music, drinks, pizza, and a free limited-edition screen-printed t-shirt? Nobody, that’s who. Shannyn Sossamon (the hot girl from 40 days and 40 nights) will bring the tunes, Original Penguin will bring the duds; the first 25 people to make purchases will get a $25 gift card. RSVP to Sharon@Ronrobinsoninc.com

WHAT: Original Penguin Spring Fling
WHEN: Sat. April 24 3-6pm
WHERE: Fred Segal, 8118 Melrose Ave
$$$: free to attend

Okay, okay, soooooo I’ve been a little MIA, I know.  BUT, now that the Spring Break/birthday madness (it was April 7th, for those of you who may have missed it) has subsided into a blissful memory, I’m fully prepared to make up for it.  Get ready for a ridiculous amount of awesome events right…n-o-w.

Start your weekend off early with a Thursday evening stop (still time to plan ahead for next week) at the Sassy City Chicks Fashion Bash sponsored by Gen Art LA and Sprinkles Cupcakes (yummy!). A sample sale of sorts, past designers boast of such favorites as: Marc Jacobs, Diane von Furstenburg, and Ella Moss. Too rich for your blood?  Not to worry.  For a mere five little ones, (when you sign up for free with Goldstar.com), you can purchase a VIP ticket that includes a swag bag full of designer goodies as well as complimentary spa services and cocktails.  If you’re really feeling lavish, book a pre-event Chevy Ride & Drive for an early ticket to fab-ville and be rewarded with more gifts and early entrance to stake your claim.

Boys: I’ve got something in it for you too (well…besides the free cocktails, of course): the venue. Four floors of amazing car history come to life at the Peterson Automotive Museum. Break off from the fashion madness and take a stroll amongst classic cars, hot rods, vintage bikes, and state-of-the-art machinery from your favorite flicks.  Admission to the museum is usually $10 on its own, so you’ll be getting in for half the price…at night (when the museum is usually closed), with drinks.  FREE DRINKS.

There.  That should get you started.  Now, get some rest, ‘cause this is just the beginning.

XOXO

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WHAT: Sassy City Chicks Fashion Bash
WHEN: Thursday, April 22nd 5:30-10pm
WHERE: Peterson Automotive Museum
$$$: $5 with Goldstar.com

Okay, so honestly?  Not the biggest Star Wars fan.  And by biggest I mean not really…at all…ever.  Of course, as a product of the ‘80’s, there was no way I could have made it through without seeing at least a few scenes of Empire Strikes Back, even if it was strictly for the Princess Leia side-bun inspiration or to drool over the oh-so-dreamy Luke Skywalker and his glowing sword.

This Friday, March 12^th, much to the delight of nerdy boys everywhere, and well…me, for that matter, a Star Wars-themed burlesque show will be gracing the stage at the Henry Fonda Theater in Hollywood.  Second in the satirical series so far, the Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret will bring your Princess Leia slave-fantasies to life, inspire you to see Jabba the Hut in a whole new light, and watch Darth Vader transform into the sultry siren we all knew was hiding under that ominous mask.

Judging by the video filmed at the premier Star Warz event (Bordello Bar), the sexiest striptease will be performed by event producer, Courtney Cruz (of Devil’s Playground fame) in her fantastically-futuristic Stormtrooper ensemble, but then again…do you really need any further motivation?

CLEARLY: Star Wars + burlesque beauties = lightsaber MAGIC.

Presales are currently sold out for the Friday night event, so get your butts in gear and snag a last-minute ticket at the door to become a part of LA’s burlesque revival, Jedi-style.

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WHAT: Star Warz Burlesque & Cabaret
WHEN: Friday, March 12th, 9pm-2am
WHERE: Henry Fonda Theater
$$$: $20-$30

Remember when Alice in Wonderland was just a really cool book? (A line stolen from the Twitterverse). No longer, my friends. Ah, well, embrace the blockbuster-Tim-Burton-Madness when it involves a Japanese cosplay cafe and an adult costume party. Next Saturday Royal/T will host an Alice-themed fashion show and a daytime party with lots of sweet treats. They’ve already had a few Alice-themed bashes that I, for one, wish I had attended. To keep your mind in Wonderland, the cafe will offer a $25 tea set starting March 5th, including playing card sandwiches, mini cupcakes with edible “eat me” notes, deep purple macaroons, and a green tea milk blend. Makes me want to throw my own tea party.

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WHAT: Alice in Wonderland Fashion Show/Tea Party
WHEN: Saturday March 6th
WHERE: Royal/T 8910 Washington Blvd, Culver City
$$$: open to the public

With February’s unseasonably warm weather upon us, it might be a good idea to enjoy some good fashion, interesting art and live music in sunny Costa Mesa.  Oh, also there’s bikinis.

Graffiti Beach will be showcasing Jonathan Bussiere’s self-aware commentary on high fashion, Hips and Hair, (he was in our art show last spring!) in the form of a Pop-up Shop at The Camp Site on the 20th and 21st of this month.  Hips and Hair will be presenting their fashion line along with some select pieces of art for your purchasing pleasure.  To add to this, live bands will be playing to the tune of free food, live portrait art, and a raffle of Hips and Hair merch.

And there’s a bikini fashion show.  Saturday at 6:30 PM.  In case you didn’t notice.

PS: Our good friend KDikio Vintage will also be a vendor at this event! Her ad is on our page on the right, so uh, you should click on it! Or click here.

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What: Graffiti Beach presents Hips and Hair Pop-up Shop
When: Saturday and Sunday February 20th and 21st
Where: The Camp Site in Costa Mesa
$$$: Free, unless you buy something

It’s time to prepare for Valentine’s Day again (if you do that sort of thing), and what better way than to shop at a designated Valentine’s pop-up shop? Sooo much classier than Secret Desires. Beginning January 29th, Space15Twenty will host the Valentine’s Pop Up Shop featuring “everything you need to get ready for cupid.” It’s like Christmas all over again, but for yourself; lingerie, jewelry, perfume, cosmetics, bath and beauty. Get ‘em girl (or boy). In addition, there will be edible treats, like lolli pops and cookies, and a kissing booth with photo documentation. There’s even an opening reception (after the opening?) on Friday February 12th from 6-9pm with a live performance. In case you are wondering, the current pop-up here is a $15.20 ALL sale.

WHAT: Valentine’s Pop Up Shop
WHEN: Friday, January 29th through the 14th; opening reception Feb. 12th
WHERE: Space15Twenty
$$$: up to you

…Because you may actually get something you like! Space15Twenty is hosting a pop-up shop for re-gifting unwrapped presents from the holiday season. It’s like a post-Christmas secret Santa of sorts. If you get stuck with something you hate, you can always shop at the sample sale and find something you love by such designers as Tom Tom Jewelry, Pretty Little Thing, Guy Baxter and many more up and coming designers. The store is also trying to raise money for Best Friends Animal Society, just another reason to get out to this event. It’s all going down in the courtyard on the 16th so get your presents in order and get ready to swap!
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WHAT:  Re-Gift Pop-Up Shop
WHEN: Saturday, January 16th @ 12-5pm
WHERE: Space15 Twenty
$$$: Free

If you haven’t checked out an A&D wholesale vintage party, yet, you can still give it a try before the end of the year.  This Saturday, December 26th, roll down to East LA and roll up your sleeves to riffle through gigantic cardboard boxes overflowing with polyester, fringe, and pleather.  The kind folks of A&D provide all the hip kids who flock to the event with empty (and clean) garbage bags to stuff full of plaid t-shirts, multicolored high heels, belts, jewelery, and jeans.  The warehouse, or Boogy Den, has plenty of clothing for both guys and gals.

I’m sure there will be a DJ or a band to help you maintain the rhythms of consumerism.   All clothes and accessories are $1!  Drinks are free! They have hard A and beer.  Don’t forget to tip the bartender!  He’s the host’s (Deborah’s) husband, and he makes a mean tequila sunrise.  21 to drink, any age to get in.
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WHAT: A&D Vintage December Public Party
WHEN: Saturday, December 26th from 8pm – 2am
WHERE: Between Olympic and Washington
$$: $1 clothing, $10 cover (the invite doesn’t mention this $10, but i’m assuming it’s the same as in the past.  $10 = a very reasonable cover for such an event)

You’ve probably seen some Kill City Jeans on a tiny, hipster ass many a time- dirty gray, super tight- well, get your own pair this Thursday when the brand takes over the Lisa Klein Men’s Store on Robertson Blvd. Not really sure why they’re taking over, but the evening will include a live performance, DJ set, full bar provided by Red Bull and Nakhon beer, and vegan franks provided by the Frankenstand. Last but certainly not least, all the jeans-wearing beautiful people will be photographed by Rony’s Photo Booth. RSVP to KCMELROSE@KILLCITY.NET

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WHAT: Kill City Invades Lisa Kline
WHEN: Thurs. Dec. 17th 8-11pm
WHERE: Lisa Klein Men’s, 143 S. Robertson Blvd, LA 90048
$$$: the cost of trendy jeans, I suppose

We like to write up Bust Magazine’s annual holiday Craftacular, and this year is no exception. Taking place tomorrow at the Echoplex, the craftacular offers handmade gifts for sale from independent (most likely female) designers and crafters, as well as refreshments and music provided by Djs. Once again, we here at BoredLA encourage you to skip the Grove or the Promenade, and buy independent, and let’s face it, cooler gifts this season.

WHAT: BUST magazine Craftacular
WHEN: Saturday Dec. 12 10am-6pm
WHERE: Echoplex
$$$: 2 dollar entry/bring cash for gifts

Local female artisans gather their finest for a bash this Friday night. Presented by  Timmery of the 1981 Collection, the night will kick off with an exhibit featuring over 20 local underground artists and photographers, followed by a fashion show by several emerging fashion and accessory designers. All night long DJ Tessa Young will be spinning and at midnight CRAZE DOT COM will be putting on a performance.

Oh, but wait. The best part? There’s going to be a ton of booths by some of the participants. Not only do you get to support local artists, party, dance, but ALSO knock off some of that Christmas list! Legend has it that the event is sponsored by Honest Tea and Colt 45 (that colt sure does get around these days), so there will be quantities of both for free. Huzzah to shopping and malt liquor! Happy holidays indeed.

Located at Loft 4300, 4300 W. Jefferson Blvd, with a cover of $10 at the door or $7 presale through timmery@1981collection.com.

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WHAT: Sugar: A Feminine Look At Art
WHEN: Friday, December 11th, 8pm – 2am
WHERE: Loft 4300, 4300 W. Jefferson Blvd, 90016
$$$: $10, $7 presale

…comes around, at Space15Twenty tonight. NYC vintage shop, What Goes Around Comes Around is hosting the event. If you have up to four high quality vintage items, and want to switch them up with something new or used, come by at 7pm. There will be a DJ and free vodka, enough said. RSVP here asap so you get a spot! It will probably fill up fast.
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WHAT:  What Goes Around Comes Around Vintage Swap
WHEN: Monday, November 16th 7pm-9pm
WHERE: Space15 Twenty
$$$: Free

Although you wouldn’t know it with the weather in LA lately, autumn is upon us and winter is nigh.  Your choices are pretty simple in preparing for the cold weather barreling down on us like a horde of NSFW nazi ice zombies.  Grab a drink to warm your soul, stave off frostbite with the warmth of a fresh pie, or get yourself a free Snuggie.

Grab your very own piece of the cult-inspired phenomenon just by filling out a quick form.  You can get yours in Gullible Green, Behavior Modification Blue, or Red.  The possibilities are endless.  If anything, it’ll be a good excuse to increase your winter libido.

Click here for your free snizzle for shizzle.

I posted about the lovely Silver Lake Art Craft and Vintage Flea Market last year, and since then they have taken up shop at the Micheltorena Elementary School every Saturday afternoon. This Saturday they will hold their last market there to celebrate the $15,000 they raised for the school and they’ve invited the Kogi truck! Mmm spicy pork and tofu tacos. I know Kogi is soo last year, but I had it last weekend and goddamnit it still holds up. They are the original, gotta give it up. Anywho, back to thrifting and crafting, Silver Lake Art and Craft will then move to their holiday locale in the Citibank parking lot on Glendale Blvd on Sunday the 15th! They will then raise proceeds for the *new* Silver Lake library- awesome! It’s the gift-giving season, so tell all your friends that they can get way cooler stuff by independent designers at the Silver Lake Art, Craft, and Vintage sale! Oh and if you have some sweet, DIY wares, call 323 467 0623 to vend there!

WHAT: Silver Lake Art Craft and Vintage Flea Market
WHEN: This Saturday w/ Kogi truck 1-3pm; every Sunday 10am-4pm
WHERE: Sat. only at 1511 Micheltorena St.; Sunday Citibank parking lot 2450 Glendale Blvd
$$$: buy stuff! proceeds go to Silver Lake library

There’s a sample sale every five minutes in Los Angeles, but I think LoftSEVEN’s will be extra special.  In addition to featuring the work of 16 different clothing designers, the event also offers free booze and some awesome DJ sets while you shop.  What really sets this apart, though, is that you can your nails done while you’re there.  FNGRBNGZ will be on hand to do amazing custom nail art for only $20/set.  That’s the same as a regular manicure, but so much more unique!  The only thing that would make this sample sale better is if everything were free, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

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WHAT: LoftSEVEN Sample Sale
WHEN: November 8th from 12-6
WHERE: Haas Building Penthouse
$$$: free to get in

Apartment 3 is bringing you a shopping party this Saturday night called Pop Shop. They’ll be featuring an art show from Phil Lumbang and David Browne,  with DJs Mia Moretti, Soft Touch, and Pony vs. Tiger, adding a sample sale featuring items from Obey, I Heart Juliet, Smoke and Mirrors to name just a few, AND THEN providing and open bar AND vegan hot dogs! Entrance is only $2. Apartment 3 specializes in providing quirky fun vintage clothing while throwing interesting events, so even if you’re not able to make it this weekend, be sure to check out their site and get on their mailing list for future shindigs.

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WHAT: Apartment 3 Pop Shop
WHEN: Saturday, November 7th, 7 – 11pm
WHERE: 7464 Santa Monica Blvd, 90046
$$$: $2, OPEN BAR!