The Venice Beach Carnevale will not be televised. Nor will it actually be held in Venice; apparently, tonight’s hedonistic costume contest/dance-party/annual gathering of LA’s freaky people has somehow gotten too insane for the uptight streets of Venice Beach and has been moved to a secret location around Jefferson/Sepulveda. (If this were a grindhouse movie, the announcer would now solemnly intone: “It‘s a party so wild they had to move it to Culver City… where life is cheap!”)

Ok, let’s take a step back and think about this for a moment — how, exactly, does one get kicked out of Venice? Have you been there lately? You could walk around with a severed head and tourists would still ask to take pictures with you. Last time I was hanging out on the boardwalk, a guy in a leopard-print vest and bootie-shorts tried to sell me some meth, as well as (I am not making this up), a live, 5-foot python. Anyway so now I’ve got all this meth and a live python and my friends no longer like to come over. Point that I’m making here, people, it takes a lot to get your ass 86′d from Venice Beach. This event deserves your consideration.

Will there be a full-size intergalactic pirate ship known as the Space Wench to gallivant around? There will be. Will there be floor-shaking beats from the likes of Fatfinger, Todd Spero, and divaDanielle (who I’ve pimped so many times on this site, people are are going to sooner or later think I’m involved in some kind of payola scheme?) Bet your ass. Will there be a masquerade costume contest that lands somewhere between Salvador Dali and Eyes Wide Shut? Most definitely. Will there be a certain amount of public nudity? Yes ma’am. Will there be acrobats and fire performers and go-go dancers? What do you think this is, the Republican National Convention? (Ok, bad example.) Just remember to come in costume — “exotic and erotic attire encouraged.”

And if you want to get in, RSVP here today to get the address and final details for tonight.

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WHAT: Carnevale masquerade party
WHEN: Saturday June 5th, 8:30 PM – 3:30 AM
WHERE: Culver City (RSVP to get address)
$$$: $15 (or $35 for VIP/open bar)

In the great pantheon of Films From The 80’s That You Remember Fondly But Have No Idea What Actually Went On In Them, it’s hard to beat Flight of the Navigator.  (The Dark Crystal and that one where Kurt Russell sexually exploits an amnesiac are also high scorers.) The touching tale of friendship between a boy a spaceship that looks like something David Bowie might use as a vacation home has had remarkable psychological staying power for anyone born in the Reagan era. And this Sunday, anyone who wants to indulge some childhood nostalgia has a perfect excuse — the environmental fund-raising group Who Will? We Will! is doing a screening of Navigator at Cinespace in Hollywood, and every dollar they make plants a tree for the Global Releaf program.

You can RSVP on Facebook here, the first 50 people in the door get free popcorn. Plus, there’s a full bar, to help you deal with the fact that you’re watching a movie about a spaceship voiced by Pee Wee Herman who won’t let you pee in privacy. (”I don’t leak, you leak.  Remember?”)

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WHAT: Charity screening of an 80’s kiddie-classic
WHEN: Sunday, May 9th, 5:30 PM
WHERE: Cinespace
$$$: $10

If you know me at all, you know music is a big part of my life…as well as cupcakes.  Soooo give me a day to celebrate both (see this week’s Soundboard) while contributing to a good cause?  Done and done.

After a morning fulfilling your deepest music fantasies (well…as far as limited vinyl finds go anyway), pop on by Morel’s French Steakhouse & Bistro at The Grove for the National Food Bloggers Bake Sale and share some of your good fortune.  With over 40 local LA bakers and bloggers (you probably already follow, Twitter-style) donating their time and tasty treats, your day will nearly triple with sugary goodness.

Amongst the decadent deliciousness will be: Blondie brownies with butterscotch and chocolate chips from event hostess, Gaby of What’s Gaby Cooking, Deadly Chocolate Almond Toffee from La Fuji Mama, Espresso Black and Tan Cookies (a SoCal twist on the NYC fav) from Daydreamer Deserts, and some yummy surprise cupcakes (finally!) from I Heart Cuppy Cakes.

Not to mention the fact that this is part of the first annual food blogger’s charity fundraiser.  All proceeds made from cities across the U.S. on Saturday, April 17th (that’s TODAY, folks!) 10:30am-1:30pm will be donated toward Share Our Strength’s effort to end childhood hunger in America.  Should you not be able to tear yourself away from the record store ruckus (a bit of a quandary, I know), feel free to shoot over a charitable donation through their website between bands.

Music, cupcakes and good deeds?  My oh my, it IS a beautiful day.

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WHAT: National Food Bloggers Bake Sale
WHEN: THIS Saturday, April 17th 10:30am-1:30pm
WHERE: Morel’s French Steakhouse & Bistro at The Grove
$$$: FREE until you spot the goodies

If you’ve never set foot in Home Ec, you’re literally in for a treat this Saturday.  It’s a cute as can be craft store in Sunset Junction and this Saturday only it will be full of yummy goodies in addition to its usual supply of unique fabrics and notions.  They’re holding a bake sale all day long to benefit Micheltorena Street Elementary School.  In the past, they’ve held charity bake sales for Haiti relief efforts and animal rescues, so look forward to even more delicious confections this time around.

If you go before 2, you’ll also have a chance to stop at the  Silverlake Famers’ Market – it’s at Sunset and Edgecliffe, only a few blocks away – so you can get some healthy produce to go with your sweets.

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WHAT: Book It Bakesale
WHERE: Home Ec
WHEN: Saturday, March 27th, 11 AM-7PM
$$$: Depends what you buy

OK.

So I know the pick of the week music wise was to see The Clientele (which you should all go do tonight!), but this event goes far beyond just music.

On Saturday, March 6th (tomorrow..or today I guess, depending on when you’re reading this..) you should all head over to the echoplex for “Chickens In Love: An 826LA Benefit Show“. It’s hosted by Dianna Agron from GLEE and there will be live performances by The Submarines, The Pity Party, Summer Darling, and special guest Thao Nguyen. Tickets are $15 and the event is an all day thing, going from Noon till 7PM.

Along with the music the mini-fest is gonna feature a DJ set by the Origami Vinyl dudes, punk rock hair dos from The Hive Hair Shop (interesting..), accessories for sale by local designers, the Grill ‘Em All food truck, and more. You can also place an order to purchase the Chickens In Love LP at the show.

Chickens In Love is an album/event benefiting 826LA, which is a non-profit organization which aims to help young kids write creatively and essentially want to write. (You can find out more about them here.) Basically the album is twelve songs written by students at 826 and performed by LA based bands, including She & Him and Tim and Eric. Sponsors include Origami Vinyl and FILTER magazine, so you’re sure to have a good time.

The album portion of the event also happens to be a fundraiser. From now till April 30th, head over to the online pledge site thing, and make a monetary pledge for your favorite student song. You can pledge as much as you want, as many times as you want, for as many songs as you want. The most popular song will get the 826LA Gold Record! (Wow!).

The event is pretty important, as it’s the biggest fundraiser of the year for 826LA, so come out, have a good time, listen to some music, and show your support!

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WHAT: Chickens In Love
WHEN: Saturday, March 6th from noon till 7:00PM
WHERE: the echoplex
$$$: $15
Ages: All

Break out your leopard print, top hats, and faux fur for this one because Friday night is all about the vixens and vamps at the downtown Venus in Furs & Femme Fatale party.  This Muzezon, Inc. journey, taking you back a few decades, will feature a runway show with hair and makeup by Hairroin Salon, body art by No.YTK, and live femme fatale models strutting their stuff to the best indie/electro beats by dj’s: Notorious Jen and Henry Strange.  Featured artwork includes: Pingping paintings, (pop-anime girly art), and Michelle Hinch photography, (recent contributor to Marie Claire: Tokyo), amongst other modern-day-heroine presentations.  Don’t miss the chance to take part in this Velvet Underground-inspired charade!  Donations are accepted at the door (CASH only!) in support of Haiti relief efforts, libations will be flowing, and there is a $5 secure parking lot from which a complimentary shuttle will escort you to all the fatale fun.

Calling all you jazz cats, and zoot-suit-wearing hipsters.  Saturday, we celebrate the yin to the femme fatale’s yang at the: Ode to the Lounge Lizard-A Cocktail Napkin Art Invitational.  Hosted by the E3rd Lounge in the heart of the downtown LA Arts District, this is second in the monthly Jerico Woggon-presented event series.  $10 gets you in the door, $5 with a shared recession tale (awesome = getting a discount to vent), and FREE admission will be granted to anyone brave enough to show up in an actual lizard costume (pictures, please!).  If this isn’t enough to draw you out already, there is plenty more where that came from: a blacklight art installation by Woggon himself, live painting by E3rd resident artist (and Little Tokyo art darling), Emmeric Konrad, and everything necessary to create your own cocktail napkin art for selling, trade, or a take-home flashback souvenir.

Moral of the story?  Whichever is truly the Leader of the Pack, both guarantee to be a swingin’ good time.

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WHAT: Venus in Furs & Femme Fatale & Ode to the Lounge Lizard
WHEN: Friday, Feb. 26th 9pm-4am & Saturday, Feb. 27th, 8pm-2am
WHERE: Catalyst Artist Collective (LOFT) & E3rd Lounge
$$$: Haiti relief donation-$10, CASH ONLY

While I’d like to say I came up with that line myself, it’s the name of a comedy benefit to be held at ComedySportz LA next Wednesday (the 24th). All proceeds from the $25 tickets will go towards providing mammograms to uninsured women, an important and probably oft-overlooked cause. The stand-up features Cat Davis, Megan Mooney (Comedy Central Presents), Whitney Cummings (Chelsea Lately), Sarah Silverman, and Garfunkel & Oates. Make your next Wednesday a funny one and do some good, too.

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WHAT: Breast Cancer Be Trippin Comedy Benefit
WHEN: Wed. Feb. 24th 8pm
WHERE: ComedySportz LA 733 Seward St.
$$$: 25 + cash bar (all benefiting charity)

Okay, so maybe not ghosts per se, but you can get a chance to meet your favorite dead authors at Upright Citizens Brigade.  For only five bucks, you can experience the wonders of reincarnation as H.G. Wells leads a discussion (and perhaps a brawl?) between the recently-deceased JD Salinger and the king of Romantic mysteries, Edgar Allan Poe.  Ever wondered why Poe married his 13-year-old cousin or what made Salinger give up Scientology in favor of Christian Science?  Well, you can ask them in person because the event is all about audience interaction.  The whole thing promises to be hilarious (UCB events always are) and, best of all, it helps raise money for 826LA, a really awesome organization that’s dedicated to helping kids become creative thinkers and strong writers.

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WHAT: 826LA’s Dead Author Readings
WHEN: Friday, February 19th, 7-8 PM
WHERE: Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
$$$: 5

If you’ve been listening to KCRW at all lately you’ll know that they’re in the middle of their Winter Subscription Drive. To lure you into becoming a member, they often have pretty sweet deals in exchange for your donation. Evan Kleiman’s Good Food show is no exception; if you subscribe during her show this weekend you could win a Ford Hybrid and get a free dinner from Evan (host of Good Food and owner of Angeli Caffe). Plus, you’ll be supporting a pretty cool radio station. Or you could just listen to her interesting and educational program. Her Saturday show features frequent guest Jonathan Gold introducing a new Little Tokyo restaurant and Lesley Balla of Tasting Table LA discussing where to get genuine French macaroons in the city. Mmm, macaroons.

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WHAT: Good Food Pledge Drive
WHEN: 2/6/10 11am-noon
WHERE: www.kcrw.com/goodfood or 89.9
$$$: donation and chance to win prizes!

Okay, so maybe this event would really be better for the 12 year-old girl in your life, but I don’t discriminate.  If you like the Jonas Brothers, start cleaning out your closet.  Once you have 10 pairs of old jeans, head to the Aeropostale at Westside Pavillion between 2:30 and 4 tomorrow to donate them to Haiti.  It’s a good cause and you’ll be entered to win a pair of tickets and a meet and greet with underage heartthrob, Nick  Jonas, at the Jonas Brothers concert at the Wiltern on Wednesday.  You get one entry for every 10 pairs of jeans, and I’m guessing your odds will be pretty good if you show up because, honestly, who has 10 extra pairs of jeans they don’t want anymore?  Stick around til 4 to find out who won.

(Also, it looks as though if you donate just 1 pair of jeans, you can get 20% off a new pair…possibly a better deal than suffering through an evening of tween pop.)

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WHAT: Donate 10 pair of jeans, maybe get face tim with Nick Jonas
WHEN: Tuesday, January 26th from 2:30 to 4
WHERE: Aeropostale at Westside Pavillion
$$$: Free!

Well, go to the the City Labs Community Service Fair on Saturday and find out.  50 local non-profit groups will be there to let you know more about their organizations and to give info on how you can help.  It looks like there will be a really diverse mix – everything from guerilla gardening to helping kids and pets – so take a look.

If improving your karma isn’t quite enough for you, the $5 admission also gets you a drink, a raffle ticket for items from UNIQUELA local designers, and free workshops from YourDailyThread, 826LA, and Causecast (all of whom should learn how to use spaces in their names…).
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WHAT: Community Service Fair
WHEN: Saturday, January 23rd from 11-4
WHERE: California Market Center’s Penthouse
$$$: $5 suggested donation

Sunday the 31st, Locali Conscious Convenience store in Franklin Village is graciously sponsoring a vegan bake sale to raise funds for the relief effort in Haiti- directly through Doctors Without Borders. Locali will also donate a percentage of their sales that day to the cause, so buy some sweets from the bake sale and some savories (and organic booze!) from the store (grass-fed Let’s Be Frank dogs, the best vegan reuben in Los Angeles…come on). You can even bring your own treats, just be sure to include an ingredient list and let them know what you’re making, but all vegan goodness is welcome and appreciated. You can also help out by handing out fliers; to do so contact bakesale@veganpr0n.com or send them a message in response to the Facebook event. Mmm, I can’t wait. (*the photo is a vegan red velvet cupcake from Share Our Strength’s Great American Bake Sale at Scoops last summer).

WHAT: Vegan Bake Sale for Haiti
WHEN: Sunday January 31st 11am-4pm
WHERE: Locali, 5825 Franklin Ave.
$$$: bring cash for as many goodies as you’d like, and for Doctors Without Borders!

…Because you may actually get something you like! Space15Twenty is hosting a pop-up shop for re-gifting unwrapped presents from the holiday season. It’s like a post-Christmas secret Santa of sorts. If you get stuck with something you hate, you can always shop at the sample sale and find something you love by such designers as Tom Tom Jewelry, Pretty Little Thing, Guy Baxter and many more up and coming designers. The store is also trying to raise money for Best Friends Animal Society, just another reason to get out to this event. It’s all going down in the courtyard on the 16th so get your presents in order and get ready to swap!
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WHAT:  Re-Gift Pop-Up Shop
WHEN: Saturday, January 16th @ 12-5pm
WHERE: Space15 Twenty
$$$: Free

One of my favorite galleries, Thinkspace, is hosting a very special benefit show beginning Friday night of which 20% of proceeds will go to Born Free USA. This non-profit is dedicated to saving the lives of all creatures, and in particular some of the most endangered in the world. The show entitled, A Cry For Help, will feature the work of Bumblebee along with a group show of over 100 artists. Exclusive prints from Amy Sol, Buff Monster, and Liz McGrath will be released this Friday during the opening reception. If you can’t make it that night, don’t worry, you’ll have until February 5th to see the show and you can help in another way by attending the animal adoptions through out the weekend from 1-6pm! Here’s your chance to show your appreciation for art, the gallery, and all the adorable animals in this world!

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WHAT: A Cry For Help Group Show
WHEN: Friday, January 8th @ 7pm-11pm
WHERE: Thinkspace Art Gallery
$$$: Free

Riot Grrl, the female punk movement that denied the mainstream (for a while) and empowered fans to spread their tunes through DIY and zines in a wild time before the internet, is taking the stage to help The Downtown’s Women Center this Sunday.  The Outskirts, Las Sangronas Y El Carbron, Toy Attica, Angustia, and The Potential Lunatics, sorry, no Bikini Kill, will perform their femme-tastic music in a femme-tastic way at The Smell for the Riot Grrl Xmas Carnival.  The venue is all ages, tickets at the door.

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WHAT: Riot Grrl Xmas Carnival
WHEN: Sunday, December 27th, 9pm
WHERE: The Smell
$$$: $5

I used to think the “hella-hipster-hoedown” was unique and kinda funny and referred to one recurring event, but it seems many establishments have just co-opted the name. Fair enough. The latest hipster hoedown is sponsored by Pehrspace, in fact as an attempt to fund their ongoing pursuits. It seems they are at risk of going out of business, and that would be highly unfortunate, so spend $5 to support them and hear some good music while you’re at it. Cave Country and DJ Cowboy Nick from KXLU will supply the jams, you supply the scene in this tiny music-cum-art space.

WHAT: Benefit for pehrspace
WHEN: Saturday Dec. 19th, 8:30 pm
WHERE: pehrspace, 325 glendale blvd
$$$: 5

Not to be a huge downer, but some people aren’t going to eat this Thanksgiving.  Fortunately, there’s something you can do to help: Gobble Gobble Give.  If you don’t have plans for the holiday, now you have something to do.  And even if you have a big dinner planned, the event will be done by 1 PM, so you’ll be home in plenty of time to chow down.

The whole thing is simple and seems like it would be a really great and fulfilling time.  All you have to do is bring yourself and something to eat.  If you can’t cook, buy something at the grocery store.  If you’re already cooking for Thanksgiving, make a little extra and bring it with you.  Show up with your food at The Echo at 10 AM sharp.  From there, it will be a frenzy of plating so that all the food everyone brings gets divided up into individual meals.  All the volunteers will divide into groups and drive around LA handing out the food and donated clothes to the homeless and everyone should be back to Echo Park by 1 PM.

I can’t think of a better way to spend three hours of your Thanksgiving Day.  Sign up to volunteer here.

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WHAT: Gobble Gobble Give
WHERE: The Echo
WHEN: Thanksgiving, 10 AM – 1 PM
$$$: Free…plus you’ll earn tons of karma points

The Filet Mignon on Risotto Cake should look something like this.

The St. Joseph Center in Venice has two great culinary classes coming up which should not be missed.  Tomorrow the class is, “From Sicily with Love: A Scrumptious Cooking and History Lesson on Sicilian Cuisine.”  Students will learn to make Butternut Squash Zuppa, Filet Mignon in Barolo Truffle Sauce with Griddled Wild Mushroom Risotto Cake and Crema di Vanilla.  Is your mouth watering?  Wine will also be served.

Three weeks later on November 14, learn to make “scrumptious desserts like chocolate mascarpone tortes, financiers and petit fours, you will also learn how to plate them to create beautiful presentations for the Holiday season.”   With both classes you are getting to learn to cook (and eat) some top notch cuisine, but what makes it even better is that you get to help out a great charity.

All the profits from the classes benefit St. Joesph Center’s Culinary Training Program which trains (often previously homeless) clients for positions in the food service industry.  Not only does it feel good to have a great time while helping out a great non-profit, but it means you can write off 50% of the cost of the course on your taxes.  The year is coming to an end so if you need some more write-offs, why not this delicious choice?

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WHAT: Gourmet Cooking Classes
WHEN: Check this page for classes and dates.
WHERE: St. Joesph Center
$$$: $85 to $150, but remember 50% of that is tax deductible.

This Friday is the 4th annual Compassionate Cuisine- a celebration of world vegetarian day. From 7-11pm in the Japanese gardens at Cal State Long Beach’s campus, various vendors, musical artists, and speakers will gather to benefit Animal Acres- a farmed animal sanctuary and compassionate living center. The president and founder of Animal Acres will speak and music will be provided by the Irvine Young Concert Artists. Vendors include Hansen’s beverages, Zephyr vegetarian Cafe, Whole Foods, the Frankenstand (my old buddies), Follow Your Heart, Lagunitas Brewing Company, Cobblermania, Wok n’ Roll, and others. Tickets are $35 in advance/$45 at the door for all that great vegetarian food!

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WHAT: Compassionate Cuisine
WHEN: Fri. Oct. 9th 7-11pm
WHERE: Cal State Long Beach, 1250 Bellflower Blvd
$$$: $35 advance/$45 doors

Tomorrow is the annual Stair Climb to the Top fundraiser for the downtown YMCA. This fundraiser involves climbing 75 stories to the top of the U.S. bank building- the tallest building west of the Mississippi. Imagine how amazing your ass would feel after this feat? About 1,500 runners are expected to show up and complete the stairmaster in roughly 9 minutes, but for us fatties it probably takes around 20. The fundraising minimum is a hefty $100, but think of how cool it is that people have access to a fit and happy lifestyle downtown, courtesy of the YMCA? Plus, you can see hot (presumably) policemen and firemen race separately in full gear. On-site registration begins at 2pm. If you can’t make it or are just really not into climbing stairs, or don’t have $100 which is completely understandable, come hang out at the corresponding Hope street fair with live music, food, retail vendors, and a live jumbotron featuring the race.

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WHAT: Stair Climb to the Top
WHEN: Friday, 2pm
WHERE: U.S. bank building
$$$: a donation of at least 100, or free for the street fair