Or maybe I should clarify… Get *Le* high.

So maybe you’ve seen those ads that vaguely suggest a human form suspended in a fog of splendor.  They usually have names like Zumanity and Ka and Mystere and The Beatles: Love.  I just know I couldn’t come up with any of those fancy show titles.  I also know that I could never do anything that those crazy Cirque people do… or could I?

Le Studio in Culver City offers classes in the aerial arts, including trapeze, lyra-hoop, silk, hammock, swing set, hand balancing, and contortion.  These classes are open to kids (age 3-15) and adults (16+), so all of our 3-year-old readers out there can finally get out on the town and get their aerobatics on!  I’ll tell you this, if at the tender age of 3, a contorted Marksy was able to suspend his body from ceilings, I would have had days worth of groundings for finding new ways to terrorize the adults in my life.   Ah, the free flying days of youth.

Regardless of how you plan to use these newly found powers of gravity manipulation, a great way to get a taste of what the program has to offer is by checking out their theatrical in-house performances.  This Friday & Saturday, they are hosting a scripted show called Re-Wired, a play that “takes a close look at the inner wirings of human beings and what makes them incapable of achieving their full potential.”

The show has genuine pro Cirque performers and if you have ever seen a Cirque show or ever wanted to see one, then this is a great opportunity to catch another performance or start down a new, amazing path of aerobatic discovery.

Buy tickets through their website.

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WHAT: Theatrical acrobatics!
WHEN: Friday, Aug 6 & Saturday, Aug 7 – 7:30 pm
WHERE: Le Studio, Culver City
$$$: $25

I was sure that there was a Heathers joke to be had in that headline (”Teen Tetricide — Do It”), but you can’t win ‘em all.

ANYWAY.

This Saturday at 8 PM, the underground Echo Park gallery Pehrspace is hosting the opening night of Tetricide, a month-long exhibit of old-school-video-game-inspired artwork. It’s going to be wall-to-wall 8-bit awesomeness, with an emphasis on “interactive and experiential” pieces, with more pixelated imagery than you can swing a flaming arm of fire at. Featured artists include such avant-garde luminaries as J.R. Baldwin (known for creating the “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” board game, which I suppose makes him like the Parker Brother who doesn’t get invited to family reunions anymore) and Sam Yurick (a genre-jumper known for rapping over laptop beats while wearing a homemade Spiderman costume, amongst other great feats of what-the-fuckery.) They’re even hosting the premier of director Felix Lee’s “Back to the Future the Ride” music video, and although I have no idea what that means, I’m deeply intrigued.

The place is extremely difficult to find, detailed directions are here. Plus, it’s free. (Power-ups not included.)

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WHAT: Old-school-game-inspired art show
WHEN: Saturday, July 10th, 8 PM – Midnight
WHERE: Pehrspace
$$$: Free

Part art gallery, part restaurant, part Japanophile’s fever dream sprung to life, the Royal/T teahouse proves that Father’s Office isn’t the only reason to explore the hidden nooks of Culver City. Housed in a minimally tricked-out warehouse off of Washington Blvd, with a brick facade brimming with ivy and a pink neon crown, the interior seems big enough to house several small airplanes, with walls of glass separating the diners from the bold, oversized exhibits. With its gift shop full of hallucinogenic knick-knacks, S&M-themed photography, sound system playing the uncensored versions of stuff you’d hear on the radio (there’s something refreshing about going to a restaurant and hearing “mindfuck” get thrown around), and waitresses dressed up in mildly titillating Japanese maid outfits, Royal/T is just on the tasteful side of prurient. Don’t think Hooters; think “Hooters for hipsters who read manga and love Murakami.”

The food is determinedly not-bad. The tuna tartar comes rimmed in a crust of spices that are more New Orleans than Nagaski, but you won’t hear anyone complaining, and it comes alongside seaweed-wrapped rolls of crispy rice topped with pungent mango salsa. The salmon salad features a fillet of tender pink fish so well grilled, it’s like not a drop of juice escaped onto the coals. There is hoisin-braised pork belly atop faintly spicy soba noodles, which is pretty damn good; there are 5-spice mashed sweet potatoes, lukewarm and lurid purple like someone tried to turn Grimace into Soylent Green, which… ain’t. The saving grace, though, is the tea. The drink coined from the joint’s namesake is an ice-chilled mixture of black leaves, creamy vanilla milk and, in an inspired touch, rose petals. It’s like a subtle, silky cousin to coffeehouse chai, and maybe my new favorite summertime drink that doesn’t rhyme with “schmimosa.”

On your way out, don’t forget to go through the back — there’s a brilliant art piece there called the “Port-O-Party”, which is like a Port-O-John shaped like a giant white Ipod. You go in, shut the door, pick a song from the (actual-sized) Ipod inside it, and rock out under the mini disco-lights overhead. It’s the kind of thing Billy Murray and Scarlett Johansson would have wound up inside during some lost night out in Tokyo.

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WHAT: Japanese art gallery/teahouse
WHEN: Everyday, 10 AM-6 PM
WHERE: Royal/T
$$$: $7-$10 a plate

Hey all, you asked for this. What, you say? It’s best described as a screening of 10 short films featuring interactive elements (Phantom of the Opera style sing-a-long anyone?) Some of the films include: A lascivious magician that makes husbands disappear and then beds their wives, The awkward moments after an inter-racial swingers party, Paula Deen facing off against the Busch Bean’s Golden Retriever, A tribute to porn’s greatest boom operator, A tickle fight that goes on for too long, and at least one of the films feature Michael Cera and Elaine Carroll. How are you not intrigued? This Saturday there will be a screening of these gems at Synchronicity Space; the event is the culmination of General Delight’s creative output thus far. General Delight is, well, click on the photo and read for yourself. Oh yeah, and, open bar!

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WHAT: General Delight; new video works, comedy and otherwise screening/reception

WHEN: Saturday June 26th, Screening @ 8:00pm; reception to follow
WHERE: Synchronicity Space, 4306 Melrose Ave
$$$: gratis

The Venice Beach Carnevale will not be televised. Nor will it actually be held in Venice; apparently, tonight’s hedonistic costume contest/dance-party/annual gathering of LA’s freaky people has somehow gotten too insane for the uptight streets of Venice Beach and has been moved to a secret location around Jefferson/Sepulveda. (If this were a grindhouse movie, the announcer would now solemnly intone: “It‘s a party so wild they had to move it to Culver City… where life is cheap!”)

Ok, let’s take a step back and think about this for a moment — how, exactly, does one get kicked out of Venice? Have you been there lately? You could walk around with a severed head and tourists would still ask to take pictures with you. Last time I was hanging out on the boardwalk, a guy in a leopard-print vest and bootie-shorts tried to sell me some meth, as well as (I am not making this up), a live, 5-foot python. Anyway so now I’ve got all this meth and a live python and my friends no longer like to come over. Point that I’m making here, people, it takes a lot to get your ass 86′d from Venice Beach. This event deserves your consideration.

Will there be a full-size intergalactic pirate ship known as the Space Wench to gallivant around? There will be. Will there be floor-shaking beats from the likes of Fatfinger, Todd Spero, and divaDanielle (who I’ve pimped so many times on this site, people are are going to sooner or later think I’m involved in some kind of payola scheme?) Bet your ass. Will there be a masquerade costume contest that lands somewhere between Salvador Dali and Eyes Wide Shut? Most definitely. Will there be a certain amount of public nudity? Yes ma’am. Will there be acrobats and fire performers and go-go dancers? What do you think this is, the Republican National Convention? (Ok, bad example.) Just remember to come in costume — “exotic and erotic attire encouraged.”

And if you want to get in, RSVP here today to get the address and final details for tonight.

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WHAT: Carnevale masquerade party
WHEN: Saturday June 5th, 8:30 PM – 3:30 AM
WHERE: Culver City (RSVP to get address)
$$$: $15 (or $35 for VIP/open bar)

If you haven’t noticed, the food truck world is a little oversaturated at the moment; the next generation of LA’s food truck scene involves not only edible delights, but art, technology, and fashion as well. Welcome the Summer Fling Truck- a crazy conglomerate of Blood Is the New Black t-shirts (check these out- they are pretty rad- www.bloodisthenewblack.com), I Make My Case- a division of case-mate, and Coolhaus- custom-made ice cream sandwiches. What the hell could be better than T-shirts and ice cream sold from a truck at a summer shindig? Nothing, I say. The T-shirts are seriously awesome and designed by various artists especially for the Summer Fling truck, and the ice cream sammies, as I’m sure you’ve heard by now, are phenomenal, with custom flavors like chocolate cookies + red velvet ice cream, oatmeal cookies + black truffle pistachio ice cream, and chocolate cookies + dirty mint chip ice cream (rawrrr).

This Saturday kicks off the lunch of this particular Summer Fling (maybe you’ll meet yours at the party- holla), at a mobile pop-up shop at Nomad Gallery from 8pm-12am. There will be a live performance by Dunes, DJing, live screenprinting, and of course Case-Mate, Blood is the New Black, and Coolhaus products!

As Natasha Case of Coolhaus says: “Taking the ‘taco truck’ or ice cream truck concept and co-opting it into mobile fashion could inspire other industries to go mobile as well. We are speaking to our Echo Park community and showcasing all of the creativity that is coming from this area.”

Come kick off the summer in style and ice cream; I’ll be there.

WHAT: Summer Fling Launch Party
WHEN: Sat. June 5th 8pm-12am
WHERE: Nomad Gallery 1993 Blake Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90039
$$$: RSVP here http://bloodisthenewblack.com/summerfling/

You solve one problem, you create another. Take the LA river for example; back in the 1930’s, it was prone to erratic, city-wide flash-floods — most notoriously the deluge of 1938, a catastrophe that killed 115 people, caused $40 million in damage, and caused mayor Frank L. Shaw to resign in embarrassment after running his campaign on the slogan “Get Tough On Floods.” Anyway, in an effort to curb the floods’ infinitely-more-successful campaign of “Get Tough On LA”, the US Army Corps of Engineers undertook the ambitious task of paving the entire river in cement, so as to better control its flow. Which was a brilliant idea that made everyone happy, at least until everyone realized that a cement river is about as aesthetically pleasing as Rush Limbaugh in a tanning bed, and that it would soon become a crime-infested, vagrant-attracting, graffiti-covered, trash-strewn HPV-wart on the ass of the city.

Like I said: you solve one problem, you create another. But sometimes, out of that new problem, you get art.

Which brings us to the Ulysses Guide To The LA River, an exhibition happening now through July 3rd at the Pasadena Museum of California Art. It’s inspired by the book of the same name by urban explorer Christopher D. Brand, who spent years traversing all 51 miles of the concrete tributary, discovering its hidden pockets of loveliness and horror. Every piece in the show — from graffiti murals, to oil paintings, to algae-covered beer bottles stashed throughout the museum, to live plants and a prerecorded soundscape of river noises, to a full-scale recreation of an under-the-bridge canal — depicts the beautiful/blighted aesthetic of LA’s native waterway. It offers a glimpse of a place most Angelenos never experience up close — a district of overgrown greenery, 50-year-old street art, wildlife both animal and human, enshrouded in a palpable sense of gutter-dwelling danger and subterranean mystery.

It’s the next best thing to simply jumping the fence and checking the river out for real. (Not that I would ever suggest such a thing…)

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WHAT: down-and-dirty LA river art exhibit
WHEN: Wednesday-Sunday, 12 PM – 5 pm
WHERE: Pasadena Museum of California Art
$$$: $7 admission, $5 with student ID

If ever you’ve wondered what would happen should the coy, kittenish call of the feminine psyche were exposed, and displayed; pulled and prodded in every which way, screws and nails sent to do the dirty work of holding it all together, today (errrr…tomorrow) is your lucky day.

Edgar Varela Fine Arts has a new home and, true to their audacious nature, are opening with a bang.   Ashley Gibbons’ Coquettish Modernisms is, by words of the artist: “…a soft space with fabric to provoke hard dialogue…to explore issues of sex, intimacy, female form, function, style, and gender roles.” Layers upon layers of these intimate menageries (aka: panties!) are revealed to “…highlight and personify the dichotomy of a woman’s role”, while also “convey(ing) mood, priority, and function to the individual woman.”

In simple terms: frilly fantasy and modern individualism have collided into something you can admire, talk about, and buy while mingling with other hot-headed artistic types such as yourself.  Oh, and there will be wine.  The yummy, organic, FREE (my favorite!) kind.

Exhibiting a mix of established as well as up-and-coming artists, you might know EVFA from their previous location (just a hop, skip, and a jump from the Little Tokyo Arts District), if not for their creatively imposed art/music-related events.  With years of expertise and a natural flair for knowing what people want, visiting EVFA means you are just as likely to run across a scruffy Eastsider you’ve seen play the El Rey as you are the CEO of an entertainment company.  Either way, you will meet those you would like to meet again, listen to music you wish you could Shazam, and be surrounded by artwork you may just be able to rationalize purchasing with this month’s rent money.

Be there or be square.

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WHAT: Coquettish Modernisms by Ashley Gibbons
WHEN: Wednesday, May 12th, 5pm-9pm
WHERE: Edgar Varela Fine Arts: 102 W. 5th Street, LA 90013
$$$: FREE (But…bring your rent money, just in case)

Culver City is decadent and depraved! Well, no, that’s not entirely true, it’s actually kind of New Jersey suburb-ish and really rather pleasant… but on May 8th, there’s an underground festival going on that will set those earlier words in stone. That’s when the Mystikal Misfits, a hardy tribe of LA-based Burning Man fanatics, are throwing COLLECTION! – a dance party that promises such high levels of giddy debauchery, anyone who hopes to someday have a political career should avoid getting photographed there.

There will be mysterious cocktails.  There will be fire-dancing. There will be adorable, scantily-clad boys and girls running around in “Mad Max” gear and neon fur.  There will be a giant Twister board, for those of you who need a socially acceptable reason to get in compromising positions with aforementioned adorables. There will be amazing house and electro DJ’s, headlined by DivaDanielle tag-teaming with Todd Spero, spinning the kind of beats that will later have your doctor admonishing you to include less funkiness in your diet. There will be an aromatherapy booth, and classy dames selling cigarettes (not in the aromatherapy booth.) It’s being held at Mission Control, adjacent to Jefferson Ave and the 405, the exact building address of which is being kept under wraps until the night of the party — RSVP on the Facebook page to get all the details.

Culver City will never know what hit it.

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WHAT: Underground Burning Man dance party
WHEN: Saturday, May 8th, 9PM – 4 AM
WHERE: Mission Control
$$$: $15

What happens when a group of young musicians/entrepreneurs rally together with with several companies downtown and gets the mayor’s stamp of approval? NEW, a darkly comedic experimental rock opera set in a post apocalyptic time where synthetic decadence battles mother nature’s drive for us to be better people. Heavy. Featuring artists Adriana Delawari, the LA Ladies Choir, members of The Moonrats, Pleasure Circus Band, and He’s My Brother She’s My Sister, and so many more to mention, I feel bad not making this roster an entire paragraph!

Showing in an extremely limited engagement this Thursday and Friday at the 2500 seat Million Dollar Theater, be sure to rsvp as soon as possible! Also, on Friday night one of the sponsors, The Standard Hotel, will be having an official launch party of “Free Art For The People!” innovative after the show’s close. (No word for an rsvp for that however…)

For more information of this project and others from this group, check out Post Fact Productions.

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WHAT: NEW: The Free Art For The People Rock Opera
WHEN: Thursday and Friday, April 22 and 23 at 8pm
WHERE: Million Dollar Theater, 307 South Broadway Ave
$$$: FREE!!!! For the people!!

Seriously.

Put the name brewery and art in the title of any event and I’m there, no questions asked. Of course, a few extra details never hurt anyone, right?  Plus, I’m not 100% sure you’re convinced yet and hey, I’ve got your back.

Here goes:

The Brewery Art Walk is a twice-annual (Spring & Fall) open studio weekend event for the 300 or so artists who work/live/play here in the world’s largest art colony (ummm…yes, please) to exhibit and sell their creations to the public (you!) at lower studio prices.

The Brewery Art Association was in fact, at one time, a PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon, for those of you living under a rock) brewery and bottling plant.  While, unfortunately, no PBR is currently being made here (ridiculous, I know), they could possibly be selling it or, if not, I am sure all you resourceful chaps have figured out a way to satisfy your liquid cravings on your own anyways (i.e.; bring your own). Nevertheless, this event is completely FREE, parking is FREE (nearby lot is provided by UPS), and you have the opportunity to purchase amazing, one-of-a-kind pieces while supporting your local art community.

Pick up a 6’ red stiletto sculpture or one of the aluminum steel Angry Dog and Shark functional art tables, compliments of contemporary/abstract metals master, Bruce Gray. Should those not be your cup of tea (or can of PBR), there will be an endless supply of original jewelry, photography, books, and other artistic inventions you never thought you needed until now.  If you have a few extra bucks, be sure and pick up a little something from the kids at the Barnsdall Arts: Ragan Art Academy booth and support local children’s art education programs.  Oh, there’s also an on-site bar/restaurant (Barbara’s at the Brewery) as well as a few art-friendly food vendors to keep you appropriately fueled (and sober, if need be), plus… a couple of food trucks lingering in the distance too.

In a nutshell:

(Reformed) Brewery + Art = FUN.

I’ll be there and you should too.

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WHAT: Brewery Art Walk
WHEN: THIS Saturday & Sunday, April 17th & 18th, 11am-6pm
WHERE: 2100 N Main St. (& Moulton) in DTLA
$$$: FREE unless you buy something

Miracles are not manufactured — they just happen.  Take for example, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, director James Nguyen’s cult horror phenomenon that explores the question: “What happens when the two worst actors ever born come under attack by an unstoppable mass of horribly CGI’d birds?”

Shot over the course of 5 years for $10,000, with special effects apparently done on a 1982 Commodore, this movie is nothing if not a labor of love.  The flick debuted (though a better word would be “crashed”) at the Sundance Film Festival last year, when Nguyen rented a private screening room after driving to Park City with a van full of fake birds and flyers reading “WHY DID THE EAGLES AND VULTURES ATTACK?” Its trailer is the funniest thing I’ve seen since the GOP website went live, and it gives weight to Vice Magazine’s summation of the picture: “If this a joke, it’s the JFK assassination of jokes.”

James Nguyen himself will be there to introduce the film when it plays at midnight on April 16th at the Silent Movie Theater. He has recently had himself legally trademarked as “The Master of Romantic Thrillers” (I am not kidding), so feel free to address him as such during the Q&A.  Respect!

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WHAT: “Where-is-your-God-now”-level bad horror movie
WHEN: April 16, midnight
WHERE: The Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $12

Have you ever wanted a really easy way to let all of Sunset Boulevard know whether or not you’re in town? Artist Piero Golia certainly has, and he’s devised a pretty great solution. As part of LA><ART’s Public Arts Initiative and Los Angeles Public Domain (L.A.P.D. for short), Golia is producing a sculptural installation on top of the Standard Hotel on Sunset called Luminous Sphere which is, you guessed it, a sphere that illuminates whenever the artist is in town.

Resembling a multi-story lollipop, it’s like a Facebook status update – only sculptural and on top of a hotel instead of on top of your news feed. This is Golia’s first public project in Los Angeles, so you’d be a fool to not check it out. It’s probably advisable to make it part of a huge night out in Hollywood, right?

About two months ago, I finally found the courage to bring my girlfriend home to meet the rest of my family for the first time.  Not being ones to pass over a veritable goldmine of comedy, my brothers set their sights on embarrassing me as much as possible in front of my relatively new lady-friend.

The tour of the house was your standard affair: this is the living room, this is our dog, this is a closet.  However when the tour group made its stop at my former room, it was already too late for me.  I stared with a perplexed look at a sign which read “Vampires and Werewolves only.  NO HUMANS ALLOWED” before opening my door and ushering my girlfriend in.

To my absolute horror, my brothers had replaced everything on my walls with Twilight posters and memorabilia.  New Moon lay half-read upon my bed and a white board presented several arguments regarding the great Edward/Jacob debate, as well as repeatedly had my name written with Edward’s surname.  Cutouts of my face were pasted over Bella Swan’s and on several of the posters, Edward Cullen’s lips were worn out to suggest that I had, in fact, kissed them off.

I had a lot of explaining to do.

What I’ve been trying to say in the past four paragraphs is that bedrooms are tangible representations of what we like and enjoy.  It was this fact that my brothers so expertly exploited to have my girlfriend now question my sexuality, and it is also this fact that Scion Installation L.A. Galleries is utilizing for our artistic enjoyment.

“Rooms”, curated by Roger Gastman, is a group exhibition that will feature 8 artists from ranging disciplines.  Each artist will create and sprinkle their own artistic style over a room with its own theme.  From Kime Buzzelli’s teenage girlpower room to Dueling VHS’ wood-paneled mancave, you’re sure to find something fresh and thought-provoking.

And here’s my present for reading this far: the reception is free with complimentary valet parking and an open bar.  The artists will all be present and happy to talk about their work, and even sell something to you if that’s your kind of thing.

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WHAT: Sweet art installation
WHEN: April 24 through May 15; Opening reception: April 24, 7-10PM
WHERE: Scion Installation Space
$$$: Free

Our favorite jorts-wearing, bearded acoustic folk singer/songwriter-enjoying bohemian community is back at it again, spreading joy and happiness through everything that we here at BoredLA love: music, art, community, and environment.

The Silver Lake Jubilee festival, taking place on May 22nd and 23rd, promises to unite a community once divided by the polarizing quality of Fiery Furnaces’ Blueberry Boat album for at least one weekend.  It will feature a line-up of over 20 musical acts, galleries of local artists, wonderful food from local restaurants, and a slew of surprise performance acts throughout the day.

This event plans to be as eco-friendly as possible and will even feature a children’s village, eco-village, and a temporary xeriscape garden for educational purposes.

The event will happen in a few months, so keep this info in your pocket.  However to pave the way for the festival, the last Wednesday of every month will feature Serenade Sunset at the El Cid (21+).

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WHAT: A Festival!
WHEN: The Weekend of May 22nd and 23rd
WHERE: Between Fountain Ave. and Santa Monica Blvd. on Myra Ave, Silverlake
$$$: General admission: $5, Children under 10 and Senior Citizens: Free

I realized we’ve never highlighted one of LA’s “Best Kept Secrets”, the Museum of Jurassic Technology, over in Culver City. So before I say anything about my experience, I will say that this place has been built up like no other. Nobody explains what it is, just that it is “magical”, “life-changing”, and “awe-inspiring”. Ok, those are pretty big statements. Unless this is a deserted island in Southeast Asia with wild Unicorns and Pheonix’s flying through the air, I wouldn’t be using those words. (Well maaaaybe for Ludobites). Anyway, from the outside, this place is very unassuming, almost sad looking really. You walk in and feel like there’s a chance you’re in the wrong place– a woman sits behind a desk, informing you of the $5 suggested donation (or $3 with student ID), her dog barking and rolling around (or was this an exhibit?), and books surround you on subjects such as evolution, psychology, and knot tying. I feel like I may be unintentionally building up the oddities that this museum is all about. Frankly, it could be better. Way better. You will pretty much walk around (if completely sober) and say “what the fuck?”… “wait… what? Huh??”… “I’m confused”… “WHAT the FUCK?!”. Yup.

It’s worth a visit, only once in your life. You will either love it, or hate it, and the hate everyone who loves it. Some exhibits that I did enjoy were the microscopic art where you have to use a microscope to see the designs, the back room filled with I guess folklore that seems completely unbelievable that anyone would sprinkle urine on themselves in the morning for good luck, and the knot-tying room where you can attempt to learn how to do cat’s cradle, and those other rope tricks, while a SUPER creepy woman over the PA speaks in a language I didn’t understand. I would say this place is like a cheap knock-off of Ripley’s Believe it Or Not and the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, but not as fun. Go upstairs for free tea and cookies before 5pm. That’s worth the price of admission alone! Honestly, this place is probably a secret because it’s not that great. (And I’m sure someone is going to hunt me down for proclaiming that.) But if you go in expecting to be amused as well as confused, you will definitely be satisfied. Oh and March 27th will be a night of Persian classical music. If that doesn’t get you there, what will?
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WHAT: A Collection of Oddities and Curiosities
WHEN: Thursdays from 2PM-8PM, Friday-Sunday from 12PM-6PM
WHERE: The Museum of Jurassic Technology
$$$: $5 adults/$3 students

When I tell people about Prayer of the Rollerboys, they usually refuse to believe me that it actually exists.  “No,” they say, “There cannot possibly be a movie where Corey Haim battles an evil gang of Rollerblading crack dealers lead by a direct descendant of Hitler. That would be like Christmas, my birthday, and Free Chocodile Day happening simultaneously.  It’s scientifically unthinkable.”  And then I bust out the trailer on Youtube, with its glorious slow-motion shots of the Haimster skating away from explosions, and I’m all like “BAM! Now what, motherfucker?”

Fools!

On Saturday March 20th, the Silent Movie Theater is hosting a screening of this 1990 straight-to-VHS masterwork as part of its “Stoopid Futures series.”  All month long, the Cinefamily will be exploring different not-terribly-bright cinematic visions of days to come, bestowing upon us the Schwarzeneggerian delights of The Running Man, the 80’s sci-fi flesh-flick Galaxina, and of course, Idiocracy (which I like to think of as “the prequel to The Road.”) Director Rick King will be there for a Q&A after the showing, to clear up any lingering questions about Rollerboys’ plot and to provide living proof that this film was, in fact, made by an adult.

Rest in peace, Mr. Haim.  As far as I’m concerned, this movie has earned you backstage passes in heaven.

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WHAT: Dystopian Rollerblade flick
WHEN: Saturday, March 20th, 10 PM
WHERE: Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $10

Echo Park’s Tavin vintage and consignment store is hosting the second of their Little Birds reading series – appropriately titled Little Birds #2 – tomorrow night at 7 p.m.

Readings will include pieces by artist and actress Grace Zabriskie (of Big Love fame), author and filmmaker Jessica Hundley (who’ll be presenting slides from her book about Dennis Hopper – which sounds totally awesome if you ask me… which you obviously did because we’re basically best friends), and a special appearance by Pamela Des Barres (author of I’m with the Band). Not only will you be treated to some refined culture, but there’ll be wine as well, provided by Bear Flag. It should be an awesome evening and an equally awesome start to the weekend, but the reading starts promptly at 7:30, so don’t be late!

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WHAT: Little Birds #2
WHEN: Friday, March 12th @ 7 p.m. – 9 p.m.
WHERE: Tavin Boutique
$$$: Free

So apparently Blick’s and Michelle’s are taking over the art supply store scene, kinda brushing the mom & pop stores to the side. Thankfully there are still a few around, the Carter Sexton Gallery and Store in North Hollywood. Not only do they offer a ton of art supplies, but they also exhibit local artists work through out the year. Starting this Friday, local artist Anna Ziouzina will display her fine art portfolio of figure drawings and some miscellaneous items. Looking at this example of her work, it seems quite appropriate, considering Alice and Wonderland just came out! Anna says her art “doesn’t take itself too seriously, just portraits of people doing their own thing, caught in the moment”. All of her work will be on sale and of course the opening is free. If you can’t make it to the opening night party (with free wine and artist in attendance as usual), her art will be on display until April 9th.
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WHAT: Opening Reception for Anna Ziouzina
WHEN: Friday, March 12th @ 7-9pm
WHERE: Carter Sexton Gallery
$$$: Free

The new Lomography Gallery isn’t slacking off when it comes to partying, and what better excuse to have a party than the Oscars? Swing by the gallery before Sunday and fill out your own Oscar ballot in hopes to be on of the 10 people who get the most winners correct. You’ll walk away with your own Oktomat camera that takes 8 pictures in a row to create your own little 8 frame movie. Then on the 7th, head to the gallery at 1pm and take part in a mini-movie making workshop using the Oktomat, Supersampler, and Actionsampler and make a purchase at the store and get a free Lomography Camera Keychain. This will all lead into the Oscars telecast where hopefully you’ll win the contest! The gallery will be serving drinks and don’t worry, they’ve got a lounge for you to sit in and watch in comfort. There will naturally be an after party, with more drinks, a lomography movie screening “Lomo Matrix”, and awards for the Oscar ballot winners! This gallery is quickly turning into my new favorite place!
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WHAT: Oscar Night + workshop and party
WHEN: Sunday, March 7th @ 1PM-post Oscars
WHERE: Lomography Gallery
$$$: Free