Have you always wanted to be famous, but know you don’t have what it takes to become a star (i.e. a sex tape where Ray-J pees on you?) Fear not — because on April 24th, we’re all getting famous. No, this does not involve guns, put those down. STOP THAT.

Full disclosure: I’m one of the guys throwing this event. Now here’s how it works: we meet at noon in front of the WME building, where we run a winding, three-mile obstacle course through Beverly Hills. Hidden throughout the course will be packs of photographers. Your goal is to make it to the finish line without them getting a picture of your full face.

Scattered along the way will be hidden caches of “identity concealers”, i.e. low-brimmed hats and those sunglasses that put a black bar over your eyes. (We were going to offer ski masks, and then remembered ski masks + sprinting through Beverly Hills in broad daylight = “Officer, these cuffs are too tight.”)

Got a camera and the ability to be sneaky? We want you. Got a pair of running shoes and a well-developed flight sensibility? We want you. (Costumes are also encouraged.) The race starts at noon, but paparazzi are required to show up at 11 AM so we can get you vultures in your respective hiding places.

Afterward, in a stirring tribute to something that would totally happen in real life, the celebrities and the paparazzi will meet up for a beer at the Writer’s Bar in the L’Ermitage Hotel.

Be sure to RSVP for the event on Facebook.

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WHAT: Celebrities Vs. Paparazzi footrace
WHEN: April 24th, noon-1 PM (Paparazzi to meet at 11 AM)
WHERE: Starting at the WME building
$$$: Free

Tonight the Cinefamily brings you some of “the best and most bizarre” Christmas cartoons from way back in the day, when cartoons were shown in movie theatres. Some highlights include “Peace On Earth (about a post apocalyptic world destroyed by war and overtaken by fuzzy wuzzy little mice and bunnies) and the uber-traumatic Little Match Girl (one of the darkest Hollywood cartoons ever made)”. In these classic shorts shown on 35mm and 16mm prints, you’ll see some recognizable faces like Rudolph as well as Popeye, Tweety Bird, and Howdy Doody. The organizers also encourage you to bring your own egg nog to enjoy during the screening!

If you can’t go tonight, check out there Mondo Christmas screening on Christmas day, the last event until January 5th. This night will be packed with footage of “department store Santas, misguided movie tie-ins, exhumed cartoons and aborted holiday specials”. The main event will be a 16mm screening of Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. I know, how can you possibly miss out on this? It’s not every Christmas you get a chance to see aliens kidnap Santa to supply the children of Mars with gifts on this very special day.

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WHAT: Christmas Cartoon Chaos/Mondo Christmas
WHEN: Tuesday, December 22nd @ 8PM/Friday, December 25th @ 8PM
WHERE: The Silent Movie Theater
$$$: $13/$12