Have you always wanted to be famous, but know you don’t have what it takes to become a star (i.e. a sex tape where Ray-J pees on you?) Fear not — because on April 24th, we’re all getting famous. No, this does not involve guns, put those down. STOP THAT.

Full disclosure: I’m one of the guys throwing this event. Now here’s how it works: we meet at noon in front of the WME building, where we run a winding, three-mile obstacle course through Beverly Hills. Hidden throughout the course will be packs of photographers. Your goal is to make it to the finish line without them getting a picture of your full face.

Scattered along the way will be hidden caches of “identity concealers”, i.e. low-brimmed hats and those sunglasses that put a black bar over your eyes. (We were going to offer ski masks, and then remembered ski masks + sprinting through Beverly Hills in broad daylight = “Officer, these cuffs are too tight.”)

Got a camera and the ability to be sneaky? We want you. Got a pair of running shoes and a well-developed flight sensibility? We want you. (Costumes are also encouraged.) The race starts at noon, but paparazzi are required to show up at 11 AM so we can get you vultures in your respective hiding places.

Afterward, in a stirring tribute to something that would totally happen in real life, the celebrities and the paparazzi will meet up for a beer at the Writer’s Bar in the L’Ermitage Hotel.

Be sure to RSVP for the event on Facebook.

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WHAT: Celebrities Vs. Paparazzi footrace
WHEN: April 24th, noon-1 PM (Paparazzi to meet at 11 AM)
WHERE: Starting at the WME building
$$$: Free

‘Tis the weekend lineup.

• Tonight’s your last night to get “violated” at the play, Violators Will Be Violated @ 11pm.
• Blow Up LA is hosting a holiday dance party with live music and ugly Christmas sweaters.
• Hella Hipster Ho-ho-Hoedown is taking place at Pehrspace to raise funds to keep the venue up and running!
• What’s winter with out going to the ballet to catch The Nutcracker?
• Cruise around Newport Beach in the Christmas Boat Parade.
• Don’t miss LA Record’s annual x-mas party featuring great bands, live screen printing, and the Frysmith food truck!
• As always, score last minute holiday gifts at the Silverlake craft and vintage fair!
• You could always make your own glitter frames instead!
• Check out a few concerts this weekend before hitting up a holiday party.
• Grab a big hot, steaming, delicious bowl of Vietnamese soup at Pho Cafe.
• Take advantage of the warm weather and spend the day along the beach on Manhattan Blvd.
• Hang around the oldest restaurant in Hollywood and sip on martinis at Musso & Frank Grill.

I’m not sure if a long line of boats is actually called a parade, but the organizers of the Newport Beach Christmas Boat Parade aren’t too concerned with semantics – they’re too busy decking out a marina’s worth of boats with an awful lot of sparkling lights.  I’ve never been, but I bet all the decorations look pretty magical when they’re reflecting in Newport Harbor.

Normally, it costs more than 30 dollars to ride around in a boat and see all the lights, but the boat tours can be had for a deep discount tomorrow evening.  The 5:45 cruise is only $22.50 and the 8:00 cruise is $15.  Definitely worth checking out, but be sure to make your reservations online!

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WHAT: Newport Beach Christmas Boat Parade
WHEN: December 16th-20th
WHERE: Newport Harbor
$$$: 15 and up

Christmas is coming! Woo! But first..concerts.

PICK OF THE WEEK

This week’s pick isn’t necessarily about a band I’ve seen before or know all too much about. Actually, this week’s pick is about a show featuring four bands I don’t entirely know too much about at all. Why would I do this? Because I have confidence in the people organizing the show and am sure that people who attend will have a good time.

On Wednesday the 16^th, Origami Vinyl is throwing a release party at the echo celebrating their first 7” release, a two track single by San Francisco electro band Lilofee. The show will be headlined by the band, and will also feature performances by Twilight Sleep, Acid Girls, and War Tapes.

While I don’t know much about the bands playing, I can try and give you a little glimpse into the kind of music you’re in store for. War Tapes should deliver traditional indie rock that you’re all used to. Acid Girls are a DJ duo from LA that keep gaining popularity. Get ready to dance when they hit the stage. Twilight Sleep brings             rock with a synthy sound and a female vocalist that can really sing. Lilofee is an electronic band, which means more dancing..this time with a live band and singer. All in all you’re in for a fun (and free if you’re 21 or older!)night of music.  And stop by Origami Vinyl (it’s next door) beforehand between 7-9 for free beer and pizza! Can you beat that? Free food, beer, and music. Wow. Now that’s what I call a party.

OTHER SHOWS TO LOOK OUT FOR:
12/14: Mere Mortals w/The Meeting Places/The Black Apples/The Secret 6 at Spaceland. 8:30PM. Free. 21+. (More mere Mortals residency.)
12/14: We Are the World w/Rainbow Arabia/Jessica 6/Loving Thunder at the echo. 8:30PM. Free. 21+. (Manimal Vinyl continues their residency at the echo. We Are the World put on a weeirrd show.)
12/14: Mew w/The Outline at the Henry Fonda. 8:00PM. $20. All. (Good rock music.)
12/15: Aimee Mann Christmas Show featuring Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel at Largo. 9:00PM. $40. All? (Watch the married couple in action.)
12/15: The Damselles w/The Hi Hos/Evan Way/Sweet Little Things/special guests at the echo. 8:00PM. Free with a packaged toy or $5 without. All. (It’s a holiday tribute to Phil Spector!)
12/16: Correatown w/Obi Best at Pershing Square. 7:00PM. Free. All. (Spaceland on ice!)
12/16: Saint Motel w/Rumspringa/Oliver Future/Early Dolphin at Spaceland. 8:30PM. $5. 21+. (Solid lineup.)
12/16: The Good Listeners w/The Sonus Quartet/Hi Ho Silver Oh/Penelope Fortier at Bootleg. 8:00PM. $10. All. (Check out our friends Hi Ho Silver Oh. They’re good.)
12/17: Fool’s Gold w/The Entrance Band/Tearist/DJ Josh Klinghoffer at the echo. 8:30PM. $10. 18+. (Fool’s Gold is blowing up. Go LA music!)
12/17: Mitchell Brown w/Lucky Dragons/Daedelus at Mountain Bar. 8:00PM. $20. 21+. (It’s a holiday fundraiser. Should be fun.)
12/18: Foreign Born w/Best Coast/El Sportivo and the Blues at Spaceland. 8:30PM. $12. 21+. (Catch Foreign Born at one of their few local shows. And Best Coast!)
12/19: The Soft Pack/Abe Vigoda/Leslie & the Badgers/Daedelus/Daddy Kev/Nobody/Kutmah at Bedrock Rehearsal. 8:00PM. RSVP and Free if you donate a toy. All. (It’s the LA Record Holiday Party.)
12/19: The Deadly Syndrome w/eskimohunter/Castledoor/The Pity Party/Signals/400 Blows at El Rey. 7:00PM. $17. All. (3rd Annual Christmas Sweater Festival.)
12/19: Jail Weddings w/Gestapo Khazi/Dalmacio von Diamond & the Enochian Keys at The Smell. 9:00PM. $5. All. (Jail Weddings are fun.)
12/20: Cobalt Cranes w/60 Watt Kid/Moses Campbell/The Arms at Spaceland. 8:30PM. Free with formal wear. 21+. (Hell Ya! Holiday Party. An excuse to dress up!)
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WHAT: Lilofee 7″ Release Party with guests
WHEN: 8:30PM
WHERE: the echo
$$$: Free for 21+, $7 for under
Ages: 18+

I’m more of a concert guy. I mean I like theater and I’ll go to a play every once in a while, but if I had a choice, I’d see a concert. When a show like Violators Will Be Violated comes along though, it makes me realize I should give more plays/theater a chance.

This thing is a one man show with barely any dialogue. Weird I know. What I found to be even weirder is that it didn’t matter. It was about an hour of non stop laughter for me and just about everyone in the audience. It’s a series of 17 short sketches revolving around ridiculous characters doing ridiculous things. The actor, Casey Smith, is able to portray so much emotion with no props or words to work with. Pretty good stuff. I don’t really want to give anything away cause I want all who go to be as pleasantly surprised as I was.

The play is going on for the next three weeks, Friday/Saturday at 11:00PM. Tickets are $10. Trust me. The show is well worth the price..and you’ll be helping out a small theater company (Circle X Theatre Co.)! Win/Win!

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WHAT: Violators Will Be Violated
WHEN: Fridays and Saturdays through December 19th @ 11:00PM
WHERE: Son of Semele Theatre
$$$: $10
Ages: All (definitely not for kids though..)