Have you always wanted to be famous, but know you don’t have what it takes to become a star (i.e. a sex tape where Ray-J pees on you?) Fear not — because on April 24th, we’re all getting famous. No, this does not involve guns, put those down. STOP THAT.

Full disclosure: I’m one of the guys throwing this event. Now here’s how it works: we meet at noon in front of the WME building, where we run a winding, three-mile obstacle course through Beverly Hills. Hidden throughout the course will be packs of photographers. Your goal is to make it to the finish line without them getting a picture of your full face.

Scattered along the way will be hidden caches of “identity concealers”, i.e. low-brimmed hats and those sunglasses that put a black bar over your eyes. (We were going to offer ski masks, and then remembered ski masks + sprinting through Beverly Hills in broad daylight = “Officer, these cuffs are too tight.”)

Got a camera and the ability to be sneaky? We want you. Got a pair of running shoes and a well-developed flight sensibility? We want you. (Costumes are also encouraged.) The race starts at noon, but paparazzi are required to show up at 11 AM so we can get you vultures in your respective hiding places.

Afterward, in a stirring tribute to something that would totally happen in real life, the celebrities and the paparazzi will meet up for a beer at the Writer’s Bar in the L’Ermitage Hotel.

Be sure to RSVP for the event on Facebook.

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WHAT: Celebrities Vs. Paparazzi footrace
WHEN: April 24th, noon-1 PM (Paparazzi to meet at 11 AM)
WHERE: Starting at the WME building
$$$: Free

Another week in Los Angeles, another festival. Hopefully it actually cools down a bit this week like it’s supposed to. It’s almost time for cold(ish) weather!!!

PICK OF THE WEEK
Festivals, for the most part, can be pretty expensive. If you have to leave the state, travel alone is enough to deter you, whether it’s driving to Seattle or flying to Chicago. Even the festival(s) close to us are pricey. I don’t remember how much I paid for Coacella, but I do remember it wasn’t cheap. Hell, Sunset Junction was $20 a day and, while the music was good, the overall atmosphere and lack of much to do made it kind of a bust. Since we all don’t really want to stop going to concerts, but we also don’t really want to keep spending tons of money, the free Eagle Rock Music Festival should get us all pretty excited.

Taking place on Colorado Blvd. in Eagle Rock on Saturday between 4pm and 11pm, the Festival brings together a slew of local artists that “highlights the ethnic and cultural diversity of the Los Angeles music scene.” While I may not personally recognize a lot of the bands (I need to brush up on the local music scene..no one’s perfect), I do know of a few names that I’ll be looking forward to.

Let’s get the big one out of the way. No Age. I think we all know the band pretty well. Noise rock, punk, whatever you wanna call it, these guys are great and need to be seen live. Having seen em a few times in different settings, I can attest to the fact that they put on a fun live show. They’ve also been very influential to the LA music scene, so they’ll kind of be like the kings of the Festival. Go bow down to the kings!

Anyway, moving on, other bands I am looking to seeing include Pocahaunted, Blank Blue, Random Patterns (personal friends of mine, and members of Heard of Elephants), The Pity Party, and The Happy Hollows. I could try to talk about most of these bands, and I have mentioned  a few in the past (The Pity Party and Happy Hollows), but you should just check em out for yourself. I guarantee you’ll like all of them.

Besides throwing out the names that I’m familiar with, I strongly recommend you go all day and check out as many local bands as you can. It’s all free and it’s a great opportunity for you to explore the local music scene and discover a ton of new artists that I’m sure you’ll love but don’t know about. That’s probably the most exciting aspect to the Eagle Rock Music Festival that I can think of. Here’s a link to the set times for all the bands. Go have some fun on Saturday.

OTHER SHOWS TO LOOK OUT FOR:
9/28: Leslie and the Badgers w/Sian Alice Group/Best Coast/Paperplanes at the echo. 8:30PM. Free. 21+. (Go to see Best Coast.)
9/28: Saint Motel w/Gangi/Mississippi Man/Links at Spaceland. 8:30PM. Free. 21+. (Gangi is a great local band.)
9/29: Tim Exile w/We Are The World at the echo. 9:00PM. $10. 18+. (Cool ambient/electro music.)
9/30: Paper Route w/Toy Horses at Spaceland. 8:30PM. $8. 21+. (Indie.)
10/1: Loney, Dear w/Asobi Seksu/Anna Ternheim at Troubadour. 8:00PM. $15. All. (Asobi Seksu is lovely.)
10/2: The Postmarks w/Brookville at Spaceland. 8:30PM. $10. 21+. (Good, mellow, indie rock.)
10/4: David Bazan w/Say Hi at Troubadour. 8:00PM. $17. All. (The guy that was Pedro the Lion if that helps. He’s awesome. So it Say Hi.)

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WHAT: Eagle Rock Music Festival
WHEN: Saturday, October 3rd @ 4PM
WHERE: Colorado Blvd.
$$$: Free!
Ages: All.

There are lots of interesting things about The Good Hurt.  For those of you who appreciate beautiful women, probably the most interesting things of all are the naughty nurses aka bartenders who will fill your prescriptions for your favorite cocktails.  Sexy.

It gets even hotter on Monday evenings, when Emilee Wilson presents the Rock ‘n; Pole Pole Dancing Showcase.  Yup, that’s just what it sounds like.  Don’t expect to see the goodies, though; there’s no nudity and no tipping.  As the LA Times said, “A dedicated core of vertical dancers are moving pole dancing out of the strip club and into the world of art, athleticism, and empowerment.”  Maybe pole dancing is the new burlesque?

And, if you can’t wait a week to see the Rock ‘n’ Pole ladies do their thing, stop by tomorrow night to see The Black Currents.  They’re friends of a friend, but their music is fun and if I can’t be nepotistic here, where can I be?

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WHAT: Rock ‘n’ Pole at The Good Hurt
WHEN: Monday nights @ 8
WHERE: 12249 Venice Blvd.
$$$: 10

Back when I lived in the Midwest, county fairs were the thing to do.  Funnel cakes, livestock, and carnival rides?  No better way to pass the hot summer days.  LA’s county fair might not have the same old country charm, but it’ll still be a rootin’ tootin’ good time.

Oh God, I just said rootin’ tootin’.  Sorry.

Anyway, the LA County Fair starts this weekend and goes on for the next month.  For Labor Day weekend only, if you get there between 10 AM and 1 PM, admission is only a dollar.  You’ll still have to pay for parking and everything once you get in there, but it sounds like a pretty good way to spend a day to me.

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WHAT: LA County Fair
WHEN: September 5-October 4
WHERE: LA County Fairplex
$$$: $10 for parking plus $1-$17 for admission