Have you always wanted to be famous, but know you don’t have what it takes to become a star (i.e. a sex tape where Ray-J pees on you?) Fear not — because on April 24th, we’re all getting famous. No, this does not involve guns, put those down. STOP THAT.

Full disclosure: I’m one of the guys throwing this event. Now here’s how it works: we meet at noon in front of the WME building, where we run a winding, three-mile obstacle course through Beverly Hills. Hidden throughout the course will be packs of photographers. Your goal is to make it to the finish line without them getting a picture of your full face.

Scattered along the way will be hidden caches of “identity concealers”, i.e. low-brimmed hats and those sunglasses that put a black bar over your eyes. (We were going to offer ski masks, and then remembered ski masks + sprinting through Beverly Hills in broad daylight = “Officer, these cuffs are too tight.”)

Got a camera and the ability to be sneaky? We want you. Got a pair of running shoes and a well-developed flight sensibility? We want you. (Costumes are also encouraged.) The race starts at noon, but paparazzi are required to show up at 11 AM so we can get you vultures in your respective hiding places.

Afterward, in a stirring tribute to something that would totally happen in real life, the celebrities and the paparazzi will meet up for a beer at the Writer’s Bar in the L’Ermitage Hotel.

Be sure to RSVP for the event on Facebook.

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WHAT: Celebrities Vs. Paparazzi footrace
WHEN: April 24th, noon-1 PM (Paparazzi to meet at 11 AM)
WHERE: Starting at the WME building
$$$: Free

Mmm this weekend tastes like Watermelon!

• Speaking of which… it’s time for the Watermelon Festival in Sunland!
• You could always go shopping and save big at Barney’s.
• La Luz opens their new exhibit tonight featuring dark posters from the early 1900’s.
• Cinefamily is more than a fan of movies— it loves crafts too!
• Donate your clothes to the new green theme park, Environmentaland!
• Ghettogloss has moved to Melrose which means it’s time to celebrate!
• Flux is showing off the work of 8 video artists and designers this Saturday night, don’t miss it!
• The Hollywood Outdoor Cinema brings you a night of ZOMBIES!!!
• Last chance to catch Octo-Mom, The Musical! I know you are very sad about this coming to an end…
• Jump into the Gnosh Pit for some vegan BBQ!
• Who isn’t obsessed with Vampires these days?
• It’s summer. That means ice cream. And If you are crafty enough, make your own!
• The OC is not just Ryan, Seth, Summer, and… I don’t even remember her name… Mischa? Check The Soundboard!
• Canter’s Deli is in the spotlight in this week’s Bored & Hungry!
• With this lovely weather, it’s only appropriate to have a picnic!
• Have a glass (or two) of wine at Delancey’s Wine Room!
• If all else fails, read LA Apps post and figure out where to find local farms to pick your own fruit! Sweeeeeet! (Literally)

This weekend, CineFamily @ The Silent Theater will feature Faythe Levine’s 2006 film Handmade Nation. The movie documents the extents of DIY culture in the contemporary, post punk and post knitting circle, landscape.  You’re sure to get some crafty ideas (right, lola?) and probably a warm and fuzzy feeling from a motivating glimpse at active people around the country who haven’t entirely sold out, bought in, or turned into complacent robots.

Matty8080 slings her goods on Etsy

The film also looks at art collectives, online communities, and independent creative businesses.  Cinefamily notes that the film features, “papercut artist Nikki McClure, the Rhode Island-based feminist art collective The Dirt Palace, X-rated latch hook creator Whitney Lee, and Houston’s yarn-based graffiti crew Knitta.”  Yarn graffitists?  I’m there.

Q&A will follow the Saturday 12pm screening, and ticket holders will score some gift bags.

Also on Saturday, from 2-6pm, Cinefamily will host a mini-craft fair featuring some talented LA makers and hands-on activities where you will get the chance to put your creativity cap on (and maybe make AN ACTUAL THINKING CAP).  Faythe Levine will be around to sign her book, same name as the movie.  This fair is free to everyone!
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WHAT: Handmade Nation and Craft Fair
WHEN: Sat 12pm (gift bags and QA and Fair from 2-6), Sat 7pm; Sunday evening at 3, 5, 7, and 9
WHERE: Cinefamily @ The Silent Theater
$$: movie $12,  but the fair is free

Now y’all know I’m a carnivore, but I’m still mad excited about vegan barbecue, especially when it’s at a cool bar in Glassel Park. Hot Knives, a dope vegan foodie site famous for the Great LA Beer Run, will be bringing “roving vegan BBQ” to Gnosh Pit, a barbecue, booze, and beats event this Sunday at Verdugo Bar. This place is supposed to have an awesome beer selection, and I’m sure the music will be cool, and the Hot Knives folks have beer popsicles! I can’t even imagine what that’s like, but I really want to try. So you’re probably wondering what vegan barbecue would entail- think “pulled pork” sandwiches made with oyster mushrooms, curry seitan banh mi, and homemade potato chips. So check out Verdugo Bar, which looks pretty swank inside, and enjoy some creative food, great beer, a board game or two, and decent music. As they say on the website, “hope you like grunge.”

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WHAT: Gnosh Pit
WHEN: Sunday 2-7pm
WHERE: 3408 Verdugo Rd. Glassel Park
$$$: cash only BBQ

Throw out your annual pass to Six Flags, there’s a new theme park in town. Environmentaland, a new interactive park in Hollywood, is exactly what you think it would be from it’s name. The park is run by Global Inheritance, an eco-friendly group that has created many environmental programs. The park features an “Energy Playground (with Energy Battle Royals!), a Mini-Bin Exhibit and Designing Station, a Planetarium, Desert Mini Golf Course, Recycled Paper Plane Takeoff station, and Alternative Energy Golf Carts”. Sounds cool! And you won’t draw crowds unless you’re keeping things up to date with some great events like art shows, movie nights, fashion shows, awesome new exhibits, and cool happenings. Just last week they had a “Polar Eclipse” event where the contestants would line up at Hollywood & Highland, answer a multiple choice question on global warming, and then arm wrestle a polar bear. Kinda weird, kinda awesome. The winners won tickets to the Teen Choice Awards. Every Wednesday they host a Bigger Picture Movie Night from 7pm-10pm. Then this Saturday, OC and LA artists come together for an art show that will also feature a solar powered music performance.  And then starting on the 16th, it’s Butthugger Fashion Week. For four days, you can donate clothing and then on the 20th, designers can sign up to participate in the 48-hour design contest. Designers can only use materials that have been donated. And of course, there will be a fashion show at the end with prizes galore. So look out for more crazy events happening at the new Environmentaland in Hollywood!
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WHAT: Environmentaland
WHERE: Hollywood & Highland Center
$$$: Free (unless someone hears otherwise…)

Ghettogloss has moved to Melrose and they’re throwing a party.  Bring some shirts for Family Industries to silkscreen for you.  Bring some $2 to get PBR in you.  It’s a cocktail party, but I suppose that will be reflected more in dress than in beverages served.  Nico Stai will perform at 11pm for your listening pleasure.  And, since Ghettogloss is in the business of art, you can check out the opening of their Gone Hollywood group exhibit, featuring: Rime, Ryan Graeff, The Restitution Press, Eric Fisher, and a preview of other artists that the gallery/boutique/culture club plans to show in the future.
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WHAT: Ghettogloss Grand Opening with Gone Hollywood Exhibit and Nico Stai
WHEN: Saturday, Aug 15 – 8pm-1:30am
WHERE: Ghettogloss on Melrose
$$: free

If you’ve ever stared longingly into the windows of Barneys at the Grove and tried to justify buying that hot outfit instead of paying your rent, I’ve got some great news for you: the Barneys New York warehouse sale is coming to LA.

Admittedly, this stuff still won’t be as cheap as H&M or Forever 21, but it will be Barneys at 50-75% off…and 75% off of crazy expensive is way less expensive.  So, if you want to look chic for cheap, head over to the LA Convention Center anytime between the 13th and the 23rd.  If I were you, I’d go on the 13th so all the good stuff will still be there.  Go clothes crazy and let us know if you find anything amazing!

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WHAT: Barney’s New York Warehouse Sale
WHEN: August 13th-23rd (see the website for hours)
WHERE: LA Convention Center
$$$: Depends what you buy

Are people going to any of these shows I’ve been talking about? I was at that Bowerbirds show from last week and wow. The Bowerbirds were awesome, but Megafaun really blew people away. After their first song, which was 10+ minutes long and included the three red bearded members walking/playing through the crowd, they had everyone at attention, no one talking or conversing, everyone eager and excited to hear the rest of the band’s set. Good stuff.

PICK OF THE WEEK
I grew up in the Inland Empire. It was a very different place than here in LA. It seems like almost every day now I have a conversation with someone on how I essentially escaped the place and was able to immerse myself with the, I guess progressive? culture of LA. In terms of music, we had the Glass House in Pomona, which was pretty awesome. A ton of bands passed and continue to pass through the small venue, creating a small scene, but a scene nonetheless. It’s this emerging indie/hipster scene in Orange County, however, that is really confusing me.

We would go to the OC all the time for whatever reason, whether it was to go to the beach, a mall, or hang out at friend’s houses. I was younger, so I wasn’t fully aware of the nightlife/culture in the area, but I knew it wasn’t ‘indie’. I mean, you’ve all seen the show…

Now, you go to Costa Mesa, Newport Beach, or Laguna and you’ll see groups of people that look like Silver Lake locals with a surfer edge. Weird I know. To get a glimpse of what these Orange County hipsters are like, and to just hear some good music, you should check out The Growlers residency at the echo tonight. They play what you think a hipster/indie kid from Orange County would sound like..a kind of garage/surf rock fusion with a lo-fi kick. Every once in a while you hear a tinge of blues, soul, and folk as well. It’s good stuff that, in my opinion, pretty much validates the emerging Orange County indie scene.

Tonight, they’ll be playing with a few other local to OC acts. Tijuana Panthers, who play a similar style of surf rock and who I’ve had the pleasure of seeing and meeting a few times (great guys and awesome music), and Some Days, the more punk/rock band on the bill.

So whether you used to live in the OC, you’re curious about what an up-and-coming band from the area sounds like, or you just want to a couple good bands play, go to the echo tonight. I’m pretty sure you won’t regret it.

Ahem. wembley [at] boredla [dot] com. I know you can’t just click on it and send me something, which could make things difficult, but I believe you guys.

OTHER SHOWS TO LOOK OUT FOR:
8/10: Local Natives w/Red Cortez, Swim Party, Rademacher at Spaceland. 8:30PM. Free. 21+. (Local Natives residency continues.)
8/10:  Lower Heaven w/Moon Upstairs, Hi Hos, Shine Brothers at Silverlake Lounge. 8:30PM. Free. 21+ (More of the Lower Heaven residency.)
8/10: Restavrant w/Spirit Vine, Hocus Pocus, Dirt Dress at the echoplex. 8:30PM. Free. 21+ (I’ve talked about Restavrant before. Great time to see em for free.)
8/11: There really is nothing I can find for Tueday, unless you want to see Coheed and Cambria at the Greek.
8/12: Dawes w/Papa, Paige Stark at the echo. 8:30PM. Free for 21+, $7 for other. All. (I realized a few days later last week that this is actually a Dawes residency. So if you missed em last week, go this week.)
8/12: Olin and the Moon w/Horse Thieves at Pershing Square. 7:00PM. Free. All. (I still haven’t been to one of these Spaceland Under the Stars things, but I really want to check it out.)
8/12: N.A.S.A. w/special guests at the El Rey. 8:00PM. $18. All. (With so many collaborations on the album, who knows who the special guests could be…)
8/12: DJ Mom Jeans w/Steve Aoki at Detroit Bar. 8:00PM. $20. 21+. (Who wants to see Danny Masterson?)
8/13: Again, can’t really find anything worthy for Thursday, unless you want to see Lil’ Wayne at Gibson Amphitheater.
8/14: The Henry Clay People w/Fol Chen, Flying Tourbillon Orchestra, Marvelous Toy at the echoplex. 8:00PM. $10. 18+. (Rock N Roll Summer Circus! Free cotton candy and sno cones! Skeeball! Balloon hats! Mimes! Moreeeee!)
8/15: Quantic and His Combo Barbaro w/J.Rocc, Nu-Mark, Sake One, Ganas at the echoplex. 9:00PM. $20. 21+. (Latin/Carribean/African music. Go expand on your musical tastes.)
8/16: The Monolators w/Alaskan Summer, Scarlet Symphony, Tandemoro at Spaceland. 8:30PM. Free. 21+. (HellYa! Night.)
8/16: Dead Rock West w/Ruby Friedman Orchestra, The Lonesome Heroes at echo. 5:00PM. Free. All. (Grand Ole Echo.)
8/16: Part Time Punks w/Nite Jewel, Silk Flowers at the echo. 10:00PM. $5. 18+. (This should get crowded.)
Not the strongest week for shows in terms of volume or amount, but there are some fun things out there.

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WHAT: The Growlers w/Tijuana Panthers, Some Days
WHEN: Monday, August 10th @ 8:30PM
$$$: Free for 21+. $7 for under 21
Ages: 18+

Okay, so it’s still a week away, but watermelon is delicious and I’m excited.  Next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday is the Sunland-Tujunga Watermelon Festival.  Just one dollar gets you delicious free watermelon, music and dance performances, and so-strange-they’re-great watermelon carving displays.  Oh, and everyone who comes to the festival can enter into a raffle to win cash prizes.  Cool.

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WHAT: Sunland-Tujunga Watermelon Festival
WHEN: Friday, Saturday and Sunday August 14th-16th
WHERE: Sunland Park
$$$: $1 entry

I want to date a vampire so bad.

I’ve seen Twilight. I watch True Blood. I know what’s up. Vampires are hot and sexy, and they thirst for my blood. And you know what, I’m ready to let them get it.

The first ever Vampire-Con kicks off next weekend, with daytime festivites and contests for all the fake vampires and fang-bangers (because everyone knows real vampires can’t go out during the day) spiraling into a crazy “danse macabre” – Vampirella’s Ball. DJ Gary Calamar, music supervisor for True Blood, is even spinning a special set.

So if LoveBitten hasn’t been working out for you, you’re sure to find your perfect match there. But be careful, you might wake up with some pretty gnarly hickeys, or even worse, the deadliest yet coolest STD in the world: Vampirism.

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WHAT: Vampire convention and party
WHEN: August 14-16
WHERE: The Music Box at the Fonda
$$$: Day 15 / Night 30 / Combo 40